


Play Misty for Me

by Jenshih_Blue



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Movie Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 12:16:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 44,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/466162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenshih_Blue/pseuds/Jenshih_Blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A popular disc jockey for a local radio station, a wonderful man he’s in love with Jared Padalecki should be riding high. Unfortunately, the thought of love scares the hell out of him and despite his loose ways; he can’t discourage Jensen, his lover, from giving up on him. Until a night of casual sex, changes his life into a nightmare he can’t escape and endangers everything he didn’t think he needed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the 1971 Clint Eastwood movie Play Misty for Me this story follows the movie close, and includes some identical dialogue. No copyright infringement intended. All rights belong to Universal Pictures and The Malpaso Company. J2 and all the other people included belong to themselves. I’m just borrowing their names and faces for a bit, because I’m perverted that way. *hee*
> 
> Original Dedication: This one is all winchestergirl's fault. She gave me puppy eyes over a year ago and it's taken me this long to get my shit together. And because she's the best BF in the world she made me a movie poster for the story. The poster is done in the same style as the original 1971 movie's poster was including the color scheme. I am nearly finished with the story and I'll be posting one chapter a night until it is posted in its entirety. Happy Halloween, Winnie!!

High above the streets, overlooking downtown San Antonio, Jared Padalecki stood staring out at twinkling lights, mug of coffee cradled in his hands. A light desert breeze blew through his hair as he lifted the mug to his lips, hazel eyes never leaving the midnight view of the only home he’d ever truly known. He sighed softly and turned moving back through the open balcony doors to where an easel stood, canvas propped carefully on its lip.

Jared knew what his lover wanted, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that level of commitment. He sat the mug aside on the table cluttered with half-used tubes of oils, paint-smeared rags, and brushes soaking in linseed oil. He lifted one hand, finger ghosting just above the image painted on the canvas and smiled. Jensen had told him once that he was the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. It was a shame Jensen couldn’t see the same in his own reflection.

Glancing over at the bed his smile widened, the image of Jensen sprawled across the tangled sheets, coupled with the faint ache in his ass reminded him why he still hadn’t said no to Jensen. He was twenty-six and still acting as if he were eighteen. Not that he lacked the energy, because God knew he had plenty of that, but because he’d promised himself long ago that he would experience all life had to offer before he decided to chain himself down. At least that’s what he’d told himself. His mom had been disappointed at first when he’d finally come out, but then with the help of his often irritating little sister she’d seen there was still a possibility for grandchildren. Coffee cup forgotten he dropped his hand and moved to the edge of his bed. He leaned over, lips pressed against Jensen’s freckled shoulder, and his hand slid beneath the sheet cupping the swell of Jensen’s ass with a gentle squeeze.

Jensen groaned and rolled over, eyes still unfocused with sleep. “What time is it?”  
  
“Almost eight-thirty,” Jared straightened up and reached for his car keys on the bedside table.

Pushing up off the mattress, Jensen yawned, ran one hand over his face, and blinked up at Jared. “You have to go?”

Jared offered him a dimpled smile, “Yeah, I do. Remember work?”

Rolling his eyes, Jensen fell back on the mattress, stretching and yawning. “Yeah, well some of us keep normal hours.” He huffed as he shifted to his stomach, burrowing his face back in the pillows.

“Whatever,” Jared swatted his ass as he headed for the bedroom door. “Don’t wait up, sweetheart!”

Jensen’s hand shot up, middle finger wriggling.

With an exasperated sigh, Jared yelled over his shoulder on the way out the door. “Love you, too!”

 ***

The drive out to the station wasn’t bad at least traffic wise being as it was almost nine. Only the clubbers were still out, but Jared knew the worst of the traffic had vanished hours ago. Tucked away in the broadcaster’s booth at the station and had his groove found, the drunken clubbers would be thinning out and midnight would find him winding down for the drive home.  
  
As he approached Trinity University, top down on his ’66 Mustang Cabrio, he flipped on the radio and grinned as he heard the last few notes of Tokyo Police Club’s _In a Cave_. Leave it up to Chad to find a way of playing indie rock on a jazz station.

 ***

Cigarette pinched between his fingertips, the young man behind the control board spun in his chair, taking a deep drag as the last notes of music faded away. Lips quirked he leaned into the mike, “Welcome back to KRTU 91.7 broadcasting from the gorgeous campus of Trinity University in San Antonio, home of the Alamo! This is the C-Man. and his sexy sidekick Sophia, Goddess of the Night, the solid first step towards your nocturnal transmissions. Soon we’ll be saying good-night to all you night owls out there.”

“And not soon enough,” the young woman across the board growled into her own mike, dark eyes sparkling with annoyance, “I’m sure if C-Man doesn’t get his nightly dose of clubbing in he might just lose his ever loving mind.”

“Oh, snap, the Goddess does not wear jealousy well. It’s unbecoming on such a hot babe. C-Man can’t help that he rocks San Antonio and draws the babes to him like bees to honey.”  
  
“Or flies to horse manure,” she finished with an amused wink.

Rolling his eyes, he turned back to the mike and leaned in, “Now don’t you just love the fire in the booth tonight? That’s what you tune in for every night isn’t it folks. My Goddess and me, setting the airwaves on fire for you fine folks of San Antone. Speaking of fire jazz fans, don’t forget about the heat generated by the South Texas Jazz Festival at Heritage Park just a hop, skip, and a jump down I-37 South to Corpus Christi. Now we all know its four weeks away, October 17th-19th but those hotels are filling up fast down there for the festival.”  
  
“That’s right, ladies and gents, Chad here actually knows what jazz is,” before he could say word one she smiled sweetly then went straight into the weather, “The time is 8:45 pm and we have a nice northwesterly wind blowing up from the Gulf at 69 degrees.”

“Now, Sophia and I are going to wrap it up for the week.” Chad spun his chair flipping a switch and glanced back up in time to see Jared appear outside the booth. “And what do you know folks it’s the big “J” himself, the one and only Padalecki Express. Jay will be bringing you three hours of smooth jazz both classic and modern. Hang in there ladies and gents he’ll make all your dreams come true. So why don’t we take you out with _Waiting to Go_ from the Dykeenies.”  
  
Another flip of his wrist then he stood, winking at Sophia as he pulled off his headset, “Nice spice tonight, Soph.”  
  
“What spice? I just hate your scrawny ass,” she snorted as she pulled off her headset and pushed past him into the office beyond the both. “Hey, Jared, sweetie,” her eyes lit up, dimples deepening at the corners of her mouth. “What’s that?” she tipped her head towards the envelope he was opening.

“Probably that gig up in San Francisco,” Chad replied as he stepped out of the booth and smacked her ass on the way past causing Sophia to glare death daggers in his direction.

“Yeah,” Jared nodded as he unfolded the letter and began to read.  
  
Chad stepped closer, backpack flung over one shoulder, “So what’s up? It happening?” he waved one impatient hand in front of Jared’s face.

“Oh, same shit,” Jared sighed, “they’re requesting a bio and pictures.”

Leaning in Sophia scanned the letter over Jared’s elbow, “Really? Isn’t that the one that Samantha Ferris runs?”

“Yeah, she's the lead investor putting it together.” Jared shoved the letter into his messenger bag and let out a frustrated breath.

“Well,” Chad chimed in as he popped the tab on a can of Coke from the mini-fridge, “In that case, Jay, you're in like sin.”

Jared frowned, brows drawing together beneath his shaggy bangs, “How do you figure that?”

Snorting, Chad took a swig of soda searching his pockets for his cigarettes, “Jay, come on, man. Are you kidding?”

“She's old enough to be my mother, dude,” Jared groaned. “Not to mention I’m gay.”  
  
“So when did that ever stop him or you?” Sophia snickered as she checked her lipstick.

 Chad sniffed, “Cougar or not she’s fucking hot and besides…”

“Jay, you’d better get a move on. Dickhead already set you up for the night.” Sophia offered him a long-suffering smile. She and Chad had been lovers once, hell they’d been married for five months back in their sophomore year. If anyone knew Chad, it was Sophia.

He smiled back and headed for the booth, “Yeah, I heard—isn’t he just the best bud ever?”

As the door closed behind him Chad leaned in and mouthed the words against the plexi-glass _you're on the air, asshole_.

On cue without missing a beat, he slid into the seat abandoned by Chad, expression doing a 360 and leaned into the mic, “Men have destroyed the roads of wonder and their cities squat like black toads in the orchards of life nothing is clean or real. Or as a girl, naked to love or be a man with…” he waved as Sophia pushed Chad out of the office leaving him alone. “This is J-Pad with a little verse, a little talk, and three hours of music until the midnight chimes ring at old San Fernando Cathedral.”

One of the lines lit up and Jared punched the button, “KRTU, Jared here.”

A man’s voice came over the line, a faint whiskey rough whisper. “Hello? Jared?”

“Yeah, that would be me—what’ll it be?”

“Ella Fitzgerald’s my favorite,” the man sighed, “Can you play _Misty_ for me.”

“ _Misty_ , sure thing, we’ve got that right on the play list. Thanks for calling.” He punched in the code that he knew by heart and slipped off the headset.

“See you got your _Misty_ dude calling you again.”

“Shit,” Jared gasped, “what the hell, Chad?”

Chad chuckled as he reached beneath the desktop holding the electronics board, “Forgot my smokes, dude.” Holding up a crumpled back of Marlboro Reds his smile faded, “What the hell is up with you man?”

Shaking his head Jared snorted, “Nothing…I…well this guy he’s getting on my nerves. Every other night for the past month, requesting the same song.”

“Maybe his girl dumped him?” Chad mused shaking out a cigarette.

Jared snatched the cigarette from between Chad’s lips and crushed it in his fist, “No smoking in here.”

“Hey, just because you’re pissed at some lovelorn guy doesn’t mean you get to take it out on my smokes.” His frown deepened, “besides that’s what Caller ID is for.”

Jared sighed, “Okay, fine I get it—I’m being a dick. Now get out of here before Sophia comes looking for your ass.”

“Sure thing, man,” Chad smacked him on the back, “Take it easy. I’ll talk at you later.”

The door swung shut behind Chad and Jared wondered why he was letting this little freaky dude get to him. After all Chad was right. More than likely the guy’s girlfriend had dumped him and the song was his way of dealing. With a soft laugh, he adjusted his headset and flipped over the line as Ella trailed off on a bittersweet note.

“That was the _First Lady of Song,_ Ella Fitzgerald, with her rendition of _Misty_ and I’m J-Pad the Jazz man coming to you from KRTU Jazz 91.7 broadcasting from Trinity University. Now, for something a little more upbeat, the great master of jazz, Duke Ellington and his band doing _Satin Doll._ ”


	2. Chapter 2

Midnight came far too quickly for Jared. Although he cared for Jensen deeply he only felt whole and content when he was behind the glass of the booth, lost in the beauty of the music. His love of music was one more thing that his family looked on him with disappointment. He’d had a full scholarship to Texas A&M to study engineering, but at the last moment, Jared had chose music over science. Although they were disappointed, especially his stepfather, his mom had acted as a buffer explaining to her husband that all young men had to sow their wild oats before they settled down. She reminded him that he’d done the same and his stepfather had relinquished his disappointment for the time being.

Pulling up in front of _Lucy’s_ he cut the engine and brushed his hair from face. There was a chill in the air although it was barely fall. A beer was what he needed to warm up and relax before he decided whether he should head back to Jensen’s apartment or to his own place. He doubted Jensen was waiting for him, he never did, and Jared had no one to blame but himself for that he supposed.

He slipped from the car pocketing his keys and headed to the bar with a sigh. As the door swung open under his hand, he chuckled at the sight that greeted him. The place was nearly empty; couple of stray patrons at booths nursing their final beer of the night and at the end of the bar another patron. He didn’t pay much mind to the strays as he settled onto a barstool with a huff.

“What the hell kind of a name is _Lucy’s_ for a Texas bar?”

The bartender a gruff man in his late fifties turned and narrowed his eyes. “Named after my grandmamma,” he pointed up to a black and white photo behind the bar of a 1920’s flapper. “Got a problem with that you idgit?”

They stared down one another for a moment and then Jared cracked up, dimples making an appearance along with a smile that lit up his entire face. “Naw, just giving you shit old man. Can you get me a beer, Jim?”

Jim let out a snort. “Keep up that old man shit and you can find another bar to park your kiester in.”

“So any messages for me?” Jared leaned into the counter watching as Jim reached in the cooler beneath to pull out an icy bottle of PBR.

“Naw. You piss off Jensen again you little roustabout?” he slid the bottle across the dark wood and Jared caught with the ease of practice.

“Now why would you think that?”

Raising one brow, Jim popped the cap on his own beer, and took a deep pull. He knew better than to poke at Jared, it was like poking a rattler, but he couldn’t help himself. Tonight from the looks of the kid could use a break. “Heard your show tonight.”  
  
“So what’d you think?” Jared popped his cap and joined Jim the familiar bitterness of the hops easing his nerves.

Jim shrugged. “Beats the hell out of working for a living.”

Snorting Jared rolled his eyes.

“By the way thanks for the plug.”

Jared smiled wide. “Well, what the hell else are friends for?”

“Bartender.”

They both turned to the man setting at the end of the bar. That was when Jared sat up and took notice for the first time. He was dressed nice, but casual, and his eyes were what caught Jared first. They were the most beautiful shade of blue fringed with thick dark lashes.  He had a square jaw dusted with a faint shadow of beard that emphasized the soft pink of his lips.

“Coke? Coming right up.” Jim called over his shoulder and headed for the cooler again as Jared continued watching the stranger from the corner of his eye. “Uh-huh.”

Jared glanced at Jim with wide innocent eyes.

“He’s waiting for someone. Besides what about you and Jensen?”

“We’re not exclusive,” Jared offered.

Jim frowned. “Does Jensen know that, boy?”

“Yeah.” Jared huffed changing the subject. “You sure he’s waiting for someone?”

“That’s what he says and there been girls and guys alike striking out all night.”

Jared contemplated Jim’s words as the elder man headed down to deliver the Coke then sat his beer aside reaching behind the counter to grab an old cigar box. “One game?” he called out.

“Cry Bastian?” Jim asked as he sat the Coke down in front of his customer.

“What else?” he began pulling out plastic champagne corks and poker chips from the box.

Jim chuckled, “Okay, kid, you asked for it.” He returned to where Jared sat and watched as he sat the corks in a straight line on the bar and then the poker chips. “Well, don’t take all night. Move.”

Frowning in concentration Jared studied the chips. “Okay, give me a sec.” He fingered one of the chips then picked it up moving it with a smirk. “Palfrey’s Gambit.”

“Dirty rat. Are we playing Copenhagen rules?”  
  
The man at the end of the bar was watching them as he sipped his Coke, curiosity obvious in his expression. Jared chuckled as Jim frowned. “Make it easy on yourself, Jim.”

Jim lifted a cork, muttering beneath his breath, and moved it. He glanced up one eyebrow raised in amusement. “Cry Bastion.”

Laughing softly, Jared grabbed one of the poker chips. “Nope, sorry no Bastion.”

“Damn, I didn’t see that,” Jim grumped as he shook his head.

“Too bad, Jim. Too damn bad.”

Jared glanced from the corner of his eye as he heard the sound of movement to his right. The blue-eyed stranger was making his way down the bar towards them as Jim studied the corks and chips with an intensity he usual reserved for drunks he was getting ready to boot out of the bar.

“That ought to do it,” Jim reached for one of the corks as Jared clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

“Careful now, old man, or I might be drinking free tonight.”

They continued moving the chips and corks back and forth. As the game progressed, the stranger shifted to the stool next to Jared, intense eyes focused on their movements. Jim reached out fingers brushing one of the corks and Jared coughed. He glared at Jared with the ferocity of a lion and Jared had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.

Jared cleared his throat. “Now be really careful, Jim.” Jim picked up a cork and started to move it. “Careful.” Just as Jim made his move, Jared turned with a blinding smile to face the wide-eyed man to his right. “Hi.”

For a moment, the stranger looked as if he were a deer caught in the headlights of a runaway truck. Then his face began to soften and he smiled back.

Jared leaned in and snorted. “He doesn’t see it.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jim chuckled as he placed the cork. “Cry Bastian.”

The stranger’s eyes widen and his smile vanished as Jared shook his head. “A fool’s ploy, dude. A fool’s ploy.” He scooped up the corks and chips tossing them back in the box with a shake of his head.

Jim glanced up at the man next to Jared and grinned. “Want to play the winner?”

He shook his head offering Jim a shy smile and a soft laugh. “I’ll just watch.”  
  
Jared studied him for a moment then offered his hand. “Jared Padalecki.”

“Misha,” the stranger replied taking his hand in a firm grip. “Misha Collins.”

“Well, have a seat, Misha Collins.” Jared chuckled. “Would you like a drink?”

“Sure,” he slid onto the stool.

“What’ll it be?”

Misha glanced up at him with a teasing grin, “Surprise me.”

“Jim, screwdriver, and another beer for me.”

“Nice game,” Jim tipped his hat. “Congratulations.”

Jared winked at Jim, “Thanks.”

“What happened?” Misha nodded towards the cigar box.

“I won.”

Brows drawing together in the cutest frown Jared swore he’d ever seen Misha questioned his answer. “How? When?”

Jim leaned in sliding the screwdriver to him with an amused smirk. “When you said okay.”

He turned to Jared, with a soft huff. “I should be pissed.”

“But you’re not,” Jared reached out and grabbed his beer. “Are you?” he tipped the beer to his lips and took a swig.

“Not really,” he smiled at Jared as he lifted his glass in a salute. “Probably the best pick-up line I’ve had used on me.”

 ***  
  
Jared had no idea why he’d given Misha a ride back to his place. All he knew was if Jensen found out his ass was going to hit the grindstone in the worst way. It wasn’t as if they were exclusive. He hadn’t promised Jensen anything when they’d hooked up. Was it his fault that Jensen just couldn’t take a hint? That he refused to realize that Jared wasn’t ready to settle down.

He leaned against the counter as Misha pulled an ice tray from the freezer. “It was nice of you to give me a ride home, mister--Padalecki?”

“That’s right, but you can call me, Jared.”

Misha smiled up at him eyes sparkling like polished sapphires. “I don’t think I’ve ever been stood up on a date since,” he chuckled, “the ninth grade.”

Jared silently studied him as he reached up and removed two glasses from the cabinet. There was something familiar about him and yet—

“Is there something wrong?” Misha glanced up.

“No,” Jared shook his head. “I just keep getting the feeling that I know you from some place.”

Misha’s cheeks grew pink as he glanced back down fighting with the ice tray. “You do?”

“Yeah.” He turned and smiled. “Let me get that.” He pulled the tray from Misha’s hands and their fingers grazed. “Haven’t seen one of these metal ice trays since I was little. My grand-mama used to have them.”

Misha cleared his throat and glanced up through his lashes. “I can take care of this. Why don’t you see if you can get the fire started?”

With a smile and a nod Jared turned away shucking his jacket as he moved into the dark living room. To hell with it he thought. If he got lucky, he got lucky. It was just for one night no harm, no foul.

“Oh, there are matches right next to the fireplace.”

“Thanks,” he called back tossing his jacket in one of the chairs.

The apartment was small and cozy, a couple of large cushioned chairs on rotating bases in front of a small stone fireplace, and along one wall an entertainment center with a kickass stereo system and a flat screen television. He knelt down, pulled the fire screen back, and reached for a match, striking it on the grey stone. The flame leaped up and he slid it beneath the logs where the kindling lay.

“It’s getting kind of late,” Jared called out as the kindling caught flaring to life. “You sure I’m not keeping you up.”

“No, of course not. I rarely get to bed before three am.” He appeared next to Jared a glass in either hand and offered him one as Jared glanced up. “I have to admit something to you.”

Jared raised an eyebrow as he accepted the glass. “Really?”  
  
“Yeah,” he blushed, eyes averting to the floor. “I didn’t really have a date tonight. I went there because sometimes you talk about it on your radio show and I really wanted to meet you.”

Lifting the match to his lips Jared blew it out, eyes never leaving Misha’s face, and pushed up to his full height. The confession didn’t really surprise him to be honest. It wasn’t the first time someone had gone out of the way to meet him.

“I listen to you all the time.” Misha whispered.

“Well, I knew someone was out there.” Jared smiled.

Misha’s laughter was light almost childlike. “You’re making fun of me.”

“No,” Jared moved closer, “I’m not. Say something else,” his voice lowered to soft growl.

“Such as?”

“Play _Misty_ for me?”

Misha smiled wide his gaze lowering to the floor again. “Very good.”

“You sure I’m not keeping you up?” Jared lifted his glass as Misha’s glanced up with worry in those beautiful baby blues.

“Don’t you like me?”

“Mmm…you seem like a nice guy.”

A wicked gleam skimmed over Misha’s eyes. “Yeah, but who needs nice guys?”  
  
“No, I like ‘em.” It was Jared’s turn to look down, the heat of shame burning in his cheeks as Jensen came to mind. “I’m kind of hung up on one.”

“And you don’t want to complicate your life.” Misha purred.

Jared glanced up, “That’s exactly right.”

“Well, neither do I,” He smiled, “but there’s no reason we can’t sleep together tonight if we feel like it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Just as Misha moved in, the corner of Jared’s mouth tipped in a surprised smile. No one had ever understood him that quickly, at least not a one-night stand. Their lips met and the first thing he thought was that those lips were just as soft as he’d imagined. He felt the tease of tongue and then he parted his lips inviting Misha inside. He dropped his drink to the floor the glass shattering, but Jared didn’t give a damn as his tongue curled around Misha’s tongue. He tasted of a hint of citrus from the screwdriver he’d had earlier at the bar, the stronger burn of whiskey, and Jared liked it. Hell, he wanted that kiss, but he wanted more than just a kiss.

He clawed at Misha’s back, frog marching him backwards to the bedroom, and slammed him to the bed with everything he had. Beneath him, Misha whined as Jared tugged at his belt nearly ripping the zipper in his slacks out as he opened the fly. Never once did their lips part until it was impossible to breath.

Fingers curling under the waist of Misha’s slacks Jared pulled back with a laugh. “Commando? Were you planning on getting lucky tonight?”

Misha smiled eyes bottomless in the shadows of the bedroom. “A guy can hope.”

 __ _Well_ , Jared thought, _I have to admire his rocks_.  
  
He yanked Misha’s trousers down the rest of the way taking his shoes with them and tossed them over his shoulder. Peeling his socks off he ran his fingers along his arches massaging them with gentle pressure as his eyes lifted to where his thigh joined hip and licked his lips. The guy had a gorgeous cock nestled in a neatly trimmed patch of dark curls. He was close to being fully erect and clear pre-cum glistened at the tip.

“Take your shirt off,” Jared growled as he pushed up off the bed stripping off his own. “I want you completely naked.”

Misha moaned yanking his shirt over his head, dark hair tousled by the sudden motion, and standing on end. He tossed the shirt over the edge of the bed and then reached down to grip his cock in one fist. Slowly he began to stroke himself as he watched Jared shuck his jeans and toe off his shoes and socks. Jared was hard and impressive, but then everything was impressive about the guy. _He is fucking sex on a stick_ , Misha thought watching him as he knelt on the bed and crawled towards him as if he were a huge predatory cat ready to devour him.

Once their bodies aligned, cock to cock, Jared reached out and slapped Misha’s hand away from his erection, eyes narrowed. “That’s mine.” He snarled through clenched teeth hand shooting out to tangle in Misha’s hair. “Don’t touch it unless I tell you to.”

Misha inhaled sharply as Jared’s grip tightened painfully. “Whatever you say,” he purred in the back of his throat. “I just want you to fuck me.”

Leaning in Jared nipped at his throat up to his ear and suckled at the lobe. He moaned, lids fluttering as his eyes rolled back in his head before Jared whispered in his ear. “Don’t want to hurt you.”

“Won’t,” Misha gasped as he parted his thighs, guiding Jared’s free hand down.

Jared’s eyes widened and he chuckled. “You were doing more than wishing.” He hissed in Misha’s ear as his fingers closed around the base of the butt plug he discovered and pulled it out almost viciously.

Head thrown back Misha howled as the thickness in him tore away, brushing against his prostate on the way out. Sparks exploded behind his eyelids, and he writhed just like the whore he was being for this man he’d desired for so long.

“You’re a kinky little fucker—aren’t you?” Jared hissed as he tossed away the plug and reached up, capturing one of Misha’s nipples and twisting it roughly. “Condom?”

“Nightstand,” Misha panted desperate to get that magnificent cock inside him.

Leaning over Jared, yanked the drawer open and pulled out a condom. He ripped it open with his teeth with a growl, reached down to take his cock in hand and rolled the latex down with the quickness of someone who was an expert at getting to the point.  

Misha cried out as Jared flipped him onto his stomach, yanked his hips up, and shifted to kneel between his thighs. He positioned himself at Misha’s stretched opening, grabbed a fist full of hair, and pulled back until Misha was whining deep in his throat. The head of his cock rubbed along the slick hole as he snarled in his ear. “Is this what you want…damn slutty little fan-boy? You want my cock in your ass so deep you’ll taste it in your throat?”

“Yes,” Misha growled. “I want you to fuck me like a whore.”

Jared laughed, “Your wish is my command.”

He nearly shot off the bed when Jared slammed his hips forward, sliding deep into his ass with one thrust. Jared released his hair, wrapped one arm around his chest and then yanked him up and back until he was sitting fully in his lap. He felt so full he thought he might split in half and he was trapped somewhere between pain and pleasure. Jared licked along the curve of his ear as he fought to breath, chest heaving with the effort.

“Like that, baby?” Jared inquired. “Does it feel good to have me so deep in that sweet ass? Cause I love it. You’re so tight and slippery. You did a good job prepping that gorgeous ass of yours.”

“God, yes,” Misha moaned, eyes fluttering shut as his head came to rest on one of Jared’s broad shoulders. Jared was just as he imagined he would be; rough, demanding, and animalistic. “Please,” he begged as Jared bit, sucked, and licked his way along his throat. “Please fuck me.”

He could feel Jared’s lips curve in a smile along the edge of his jaw. “I don’t think so, boy.” He purred. “I want you to wrap those arms around my neck and ride me like a pony.”

Arms lifting he wrapped them around Jared’s neck and began to ride his cock as instructed. It was the most exquisite feeling being filled, then emptied as Jared’s hands caressed his skin. Big strong hands, long graceful fingers that teased and stroked his nipples then slid down along the flat plane of his stomach to ghost along the base of his erection. He wanted to be touched there stroked until he went mad with the desire to come. His heart thundered in his chest as that hand slid back up, fingers teasing at his nipples again.

“You’re not riding fast enough,” Jared growled as he bit down on his ear lobe. “Would you like some help with that?” Both his hands slid down to grip Misha’s narrow hips tightly. “I’m going to teach you how to ride a pony the right way.”

Misha cried out as Jared began lifting him up and down in a maddening rhythm, using him as nothing more than a body to bring himself pleasure. His back bowed as Jared began thrusting up each time he pulled him down on his shaft and impaled him deeper than any lover ever had. With each thrust he rubbed against that spot that sent delicious spikes of heat coursing through Misha’s pelvis until he was on the edge teetering. Then he tumbled over with a choked cry, teeth digging into his lower lip until he drew blood. He smiled as he felt his body jerk and spasm, his cum spattering his belly, and he licked the blood from his lips. Seconds later, Jared shoved him forward, pulling out, stripping off the condom and shot his load across Misha’s back with a deep growl.

As Misha lay there, heart thundering wildly, Jared tumbled to the mattress, pulled him close, and spooned around his trembling body. He nuzzled Misha’s neck, licking the cooling perspiration from his skin and Misha could feel Jared’s heart beat against his back. He closed his eyes and just let that rhythm draw him down into sleep, his own heart matching each pulse. Outside the sun was just tingeing the eastern sky pink.

Hours later Misha woke to find Jared gone and the sheets cool.

** One Week Later **

Chad opened the gate with a whistle on his lips, jacket flung over one shoulder as he brushed by the yellow roses that climbed the wall surrounding Jared’s little piece of heaven. Early afternoon sunlight sparked off the water in the meditation pond he skirted on his way to the glass patio doors that stood open. Sitting just inside the door at his desk Jared was typing furiously on his laptop oblivious to everything around him, brow furrowed beneath his shaggy bangs.

Amusement shining in his eyes, Chad turned gaze settling on the sculpted ebony torso of a woman just inside the door. Grinning he reached out and grabbed the firm round smoothness of one perfect breast. “Solid silicon,” he chuckled as Jared glanced up with a frown at the interruption. “Hey, Jay! How you been, dude? I see you decided to clean up the joint.”

"Care for a beer?” Jared went back to his typing as Chad moved into the cool shadows of the apartment. He’d been hiding away for a week and the last person he wanted to see was Chad.

“Naw, not really. I could go for something a little more uplifting though.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Beers all I have man. You know Jensen doesn’t like me smoking.” He picked up the beer next to the laptop and took a swig. “Look, Chad, you’re gonna have to go find your fun somewhere else this afternoon. I have a lot of work to do.”

Moving back over to Jared’s desk, Chad flopped in one of the leather chairs. “You don’t understand, dude. I was sent over here to get you.”

“By who?” Disbelief shone in Jared’s eyes as he blew a strand of hair out of them. Chad was always pulling pranks and although he enjoyed a good prank as well as the next guy, he really didn’t have the time for Chad’s childishness today.

Chad flung one denim-clad leg over the chair arm and snorted. “Sophia sent me over here. She thinks you’ve been working too hard and not having enough fun. Thought since we’re all off we should go out have a few drinks…”

“Who’s this _we_ asshole?”

He shrugged, “Me, you, her, and maybe one of your fuck-buddies. Look, there’s a fantastic Mexican restaurant just about a mile from campus _Susinos_ and Sophia swears the Albondigas soup is killer.”

Jared shook his head. “Yeah, I know the place, but I have a ton of work to catch up on and besides I don’t have a date.”

“Big fucking deal, man. Get a date. It isn’t as if you’re ever wanting in that department. What about Jensen?”

“He’s still up in Dallas visiting his folks.” Jared sighed as he stood stretching. He hated when Chad came bugging him like this. “Besides it’s too late to be calling around.”

“A man’s got to eat, Jay. Even you—hell especially you.”

“I’ll just whip something up in my own kitchen, Chad. It isn’t like I’m helpless.” He tipped back the last of his beer and headed towards said kitchen with Chad on his heels.

“Look, Jay, man, I’m starting to really worry about your social life.”

Jared spun on his heel and glared at Chad. “You know something, dude, you’re going to make someone a great mother one of these days.”

“I’m too narrow in the pelvis.” Chad snorted.

“I appreciate you stopping by, but tell that wife of yours that I’m fine.”

“Ex-wife,” Chad hissed.

Jared threw his hands in the air as he herded Chad towards the door. “Whatever, man.”

“Well, never say that the C-Man can’t take a hint.”

Just as he stepped over the threshold, the gate swung open and a man peered around with a bright smile, blue eyes twinkling. “Hi, there.”

“Well…well hi there yourself.” Chad grinned and turned waggling his eyebrows at Jared.

“Hmmm…I hope I didn’t screw up, but does Jared Padalecki live here?” The man stepped into the garden, a couple of large grocery bags in his arms.

“That depends on your point of view.” Chad chuckled as the man made his way around the rose bushes.

Jared moved to the door, frown firmly in place, and a fresh beer in hand. The man glanced up with a wide smile as their eyes met. “Oh, hi. This stuff weighs a ton—where’s the kitchen?”

“Right inside.” Chad tipped his head in the direction of Jared’s kitchen. “Come on in and make yourself comfortable.”

“Thanks.” he flashed a bright smile at Chad and pushed by them.

“Just around the corner,” Chad called out as Jared frown grew deeper. He turned back to Jared and winked. “Oh, now I get it. Making plans on your own.”

“Whatever,” Jared huffed arms crossed over his chest.

Chad snickered as he slipped out the door. “Getting a little New York Strip while the T-Bone is out of town. Don’t work too hard, dude.” He ducked out the gate as Jared flipped him the bird laughing all the way.

***

“No beer?”

Jared turned the corner into the kitchen knuckles white as he tried to control his temper. He’d had his share of one-night stands, but none of them had showed up at his place a week later. He glared at Misha as the other man poked around in his refrigerator. Misha seemed oblivious to the fact that he was about to crush a beer bottle in his hand.

“And what the hell is this?” Misha held out a shriveled apple with a smirk. “A shrunken head?” he tossed it into the trash bin over his shoulder. “Who was that guy? Does he live with you?”

“Hey, look I wanted to…”

Misha completely cut him off as he continued pulling packages out of the grocery bags. “I hope you like steak. I’m a vegetarian, but I thought you looked like a meat and potatoes guy.”  
  
"Hey," Jared yelped, "Hang on."

“That’s okay,” he continued to talk ignoring Jared’s protest. “I can always make a nice salad with fresh organic tomatoes and some Roquefort. A nice baked potato with…”

Jared reached out, grabbed his arm, and slammed the refrigerator shut. “What the hell is going on here?” he demanded.

Looking up at Jared with wide puppy dog eyes Misha pouted. “You’re not going to send me away are you?”

"No,” Jared shook his head, “I don’t know. I just want to ask you a question.”

Misha’s face lit up with an almost childish glee. “I just wanted to surprise you.”

“Surprise?” Jared whispered in confusion.

They stared at one another for a moment and then Jared released his grip on Misha’s arm.

“What would have happened if Chad and I had been talking business? Or what if I’d had company or something and you came in here with an armload of groceries? That would have been one hell of a surprise.” his eyes narrowed in annoyance.

Misha turned away with a wounded expression, his eyes shining as if he were on the verge of crying. “I’m sorry,” he sighed as he glanced back at Jared. “Look, just keep the stuff. I don’t have much of an appetite anymore.” He pushed past Jared and headed for the door.

He felt like a bit of a heel now. Jared knew his mother would have his ass if she knew he’d been so rude especially to someone he’d spent the night with. He let out an exasperated breath and headed after Misha grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. “Wait a minute, Misha. I’m just trying to tell you something, man.”

Crossing his arms Misha refused to meet his gaze. “I don’t understand what you want. Do I go? Do I stay? I’m confused.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “What I’m trying to tell you is that there is such a thing as a phone. I usually pick it up and dial it. You answer and then I say— _what are you doing_?”

“And I say _I’ll be right over_.” Misha glanced up with a hopeful gaze.

“Yeah,” Jared smiled so wide his dimples appeared. “Let’s try it that way next time.”

“Okay,” a smile lit up Misha’s face. “Anyway you want to do it. Next time. How do you like your steak?”  
  
Jared chuckled. “Extremely rare.”

“I think I can do that.”

“Well, I guess I’ll grab a bottle of wine.” He stepped back in the kitchen and pulled a bottle from the wine rack.

“Wine is excellent. All this and heaven too!” Misha bounced into the kitchen and picked up where he’d left off. “I love cooking. It’s relaxing. It has almost a Zen quality to it.”

Jared reached into a draw and pulled out a corkscrew to open the wine. “What happened with that discussion we had last time? You know the no strings attached thing.” He turned to see a gleam of worry in Misha’s eyes.

The worry vanished so quickly that Jared wondered if he’d seen it at all. Misha stepped closer with a smirk firmly in place. “Well, there are no strings attached, but I didn’t say anything about coming back for seconds—did I?”

The cork popped from the bottle and Jared raised one eyebrow suggestively. “Yeah, that’s right you didn’t.” He leaned in close and their lips met in a deep kiss. He felt his cock stir, but his stomach growled louder.

Misha pulled back and laughed a light airy sound that sent shivers down Jared’s spine. “Maybe I should feed you first and then we can play.”  
 **  
**


	4. Chapter 4

It was nearly midnight when Misha decided to leave or rather Jared decided for him. The engine of his car idled as they talked on the corner where he’d parked it. Misha smiled wide and glanced up at Jared. “So when will I see you again?”

Jared smiled back, teeth gleaming in the shadows. “I’ll call you.”

“You’re funny, Jared.” Misha laughed.

“How’s that?”

Misha shrugged. “If you want to keep playing games, okay, but…” he leaned back in the driver’s seat arm draped casually over the door. “ You know they’re not necessary anymore. At least not for me.”

“Hey!” the neighbor across the street stuck his head out a window. “People are trying to sleep here already!”

“People trying to talk here,” Misha replied.

“How’d you like to tell the cops that?” the man yelled back shaking his fist.

That was when Jared realized he might be in over his head. Misha’s whole demeanor changed.

“How about you go fuck yourself you old bastard!” he screamed and then leaned on the horn.

Jared reached past the side mirror into the car and grabbed Misha’s arm. “Hey, man chill! Guy’s just trying to sleep.” He lowered his voice as he met Misha’s eyes and for a moment, he swore they were black as pitch.

He suddenly relaxed and smiled again. “God, your right. It’s a beautiful night why be selfish with it?”

A knot formed in the pit of Jared’s stomach as Misha shifted his car into gear and flashed him one last smile pulling away from the curve. _Something’s wrong with him_ , Jared thought as he watched the convertible drive away.

***  
  
The following day, everywhere Jared turned in his apartment there was the memory of Misha and the things they’d done. He hated himself, but when did he not hate himself. After last night though, he doubted he would be seeing Misha again. Hell, he hadn’t planned on seeing him at all after the first night. He needed to get away from his apartment and forget that he was a complete dick. _Yeah, a dick_ , he thought as he grabbed his jacket and decided to head out to the River Walk. If there was one place, he could feel free of his stupidity it was there. He’d get lost in the chatter of the walk, the warm Texas sun beating down on his head, and maybe just maybe he’d forget about that moment last night when he’d looked into what he believed was Lucifer’s own eyes.

The drive was nice, but it was a bitch to get a parking spot. He’d just started down to the walk when out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of who he thought was Jensen. It couldn’t be Jensen though, he thought. He’d left to visit his family in Dallas. Long legs taking the stairs two at a time, he hurried after the elusive figure through the early afternoon crowd all thought of the previous night forgotten.

Nearly out of breath, he finally got within five feet of the man and called out. “Hey, wait a minute!” The guy turned around and a flush crept into his cheeks. “Oh, I’m sorry. I saw the jacket and…well I thought you were someone else.”

“Oh,” the guy chuckled as Jared turned to leave. “You must be Jared.”

Jared turned back with a disbelieving stare. “How the hell did you know my name?” he peered over the rim of his sunglasses wondering if maybe he’d bedded this guy or one of his friends.

“Jensen told me all about you.”

 ***

“How long have you been back?”

Jensen glanced up from the metal sculpture he was working on and shut off the torch. “A few days. I was trying to mend a few fences, but since that fell through I decided to take some me time. Play it cool.” He tipped his head towards the sculpture clearing his throat at the look in Jared’s eyes. “I’m not doing very well—am I?” Cheeks flushing pink he glanced down at the floor.

“Got time for a break?” Jared smiled as Jensen looked up in surprise.

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s go.”

Sitting aside the torch, Jensen stood and walked around the corner of the worktable. “How did you find me?”

“Brock,” Jared replied as they headed out of the workshop. “I thought he was you until I got up close. He was wearing your jacket.”   
  
Jensen snapped. “Don’t even act jealous, Jay.”

He jerked his head up and narrowed his eyes. “I’m not.”  
  
“Brock’s my sister’s boyfriend,” his laughter was deep and strong. “He’s never been to San Antonio and he wanted to come down.”

The knot in Jared’s stomach eased and he huffed out a sound that was close to a laugh, but no cigar. “When were you going to call me?”

“Look, Jay, I just thought we could use sometime apart. Look at yourself. You look exhausted, hell I think you’ve lost weight.”

“Oh, no!”

They both glanced up to see Richard standing in the door. “So much for Corpus Christi.”

Jensen sighed and rolled his eyes.  
  
“Corpus Christi?” Jared asked.

“Yeah,” Jensen admitted. “I was only with my family for a couple of days. I was staying at Richard’s place down there.”

Jared turned and glared at Richard.

“Oh, relax. It’s not much, honey, but it’s good for the fleet when they come in.” He winked and blew Jared a kiss.

“Damn it,” Jared growled. “I knew you weren’t still at your parents, Jensen. I called a few days ago.” He rounded on Richard wagging a finger in his face. “And you! You told me you didn’t know where he was!”

 Richard rolled his eyes. “I lied. So sue me can’t help being a bit of a trickster.”

“Thanks a lot asshole!” Jared snapped.

“Look, stud, it wasn’t my idea.” Richard sniffed. “You should have seen his act the night before he left. Claimed you were over. That he was tired of you whoring around. He was all Bette Davis eyes and drama—my God the drama, sweetheart and at 3:00 am never the less.”   
  
“Richard!” Jensen growled. “Don’t listen to him, Jay. He’s exaggerating.”  
  
Jared turned and walked away leaving Jensen in a state of shock.   
  
“What happened, sweetie?” Richard quirked one eyebrow.

Jensen shook his head. “He ran into Brock on the River Walk and the little bastard told him I was back in town. Mackenzie and I are going to have one hell of a talk about her taste in men.”  
  
“Forget Mackenzie’s slimy little boyfriend.” Jared moved back into the room with a wicked smirk. “Let’s get out of here, Jen.” He grabbed Jensen’s shoulder and squeezed maneuvering him around Richard.

“Jared, sweetheart,” Richard sighed. “It’s nothing personal. It’s just that I think Jensen here could be a first-rate artist—if he could control his dick.”

Jensen flushed a deep pink beneath his freckles. “Richard! It’s not like Jay can do anything about that.”

Richard shrugged, lips curled in a sadistic grin. “He could kill himself.”  
  
Eyes narrowed, Jared leaned in with a snarl. “Richard, why don’t you go cruise some sailors down in Corpus Christi? Keep your nose out of our business.”

“Oh, please,” Richard wrinkled his nose up, rolling his eyes. “Don’t mention seafood.” He sniffed, turned on his heel, and left hips swaying.

Jensen couldn’t help laughing. He knew Jared didn’t care much for Richard and Jensen imagined it was because he believed he and Richard had something going on. Jared couldn’t have been further from the truth. Richard and he had met years ago, shortly after Jensen had decided to come out of the closet. He’d been Jensen’s guide into the world of a newly un-closeted gay man—nothing more. Jensen looked on him as nothing more than a friend although Richard had tried his damnedest to get in his pants.

“Come on.” Jared groaned as they walked out into the bright sunlight.

 ***  
  
Walking along the river beneath the shade of the trees Jensen sighed. “I missed this place.”

“I missed you.” Jared whispered, reaching out to tighten his fingers around Jensen’s hand in a gentle squeeze.

Jensen glanced up and frowned. “You know you’d be doing me a huge favor if you didn’t say things like that, man.”

One eyebrow quirked Jared glanced at him with an amused smile. “Why’s that?”

“I don’t know. It brings the worst out in me.” Turning away from Jared’s intense gaze he watched as one of the water taxis glided by filled with colorfully dressed tourists. “Makes me want to say things like, _how’s your bitch, Milo_?”

His eyebrows shot up disappearing beneath his bangs. “What?”

“You know what I mean, Jay. Don’t try to tell me you weren’t fooling around with that little Italian whore.”

Jared exhaled in frustration. “Milo went back to Los Angeles.”

“Oh, that’s too damn bad.” Jensen’s voice oozed sarcasm. “Well, there’s always that brainless twink Tom from down Old El Paso way you can fall back on.”

“Jensen,” Jared groaned.

“What’s wrong? Can’t handle the truth?”

“No, I just—hell, Jen. Do we really need to go through the entire list of my fuck ups?” He shook his head. “Let’s get out of here? Just forget the past, go out to the Missions Park, and talk. We could pick up some lunch on the way.”

Jensen laughed under his breath and nodded. “See now that’s my problem. I can’t ever say no to you and your romantic notions.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

The sun was setting and the shadows growing within the cool stone arches of the San Jose Mission. They’d eaten hours ago and now were just walking the mission’s stone floors. Although the physical space between them amounted to just a few inches, there were miles of emotional space.

Jensen paused in the cool darkness of one arch arms folded around him as if to stave off a chill, and leaned against the stone, increasing the space between them. He studied the ancient mortar between the stones of the floor as he gathered his thoughts. “I just don’t know if I’m up to this anymore.” He sighed.

“Up to what?” a knot began to form in Jared’s belly even as he asked a question he knew the answer to.

“Setting alone in my apartment at night,” he cleared his throat. “Wondering if you’ll come to me after you finish your show or if you’ll…” he let the insinuation hang in the air between them.

“Jen, please.”

He glanced up at Jared’s soft plea. “No,” he shook his head. “It just gets harder every night. I drive myself crazy when it gets later and later. Then I begin to wonder if you ever did give a damn. You leave me hanging so often I worry that you’ve either wrapped your car around a lamp post or maybe you’re wrapped in someone else’s arms.”

Jared stared at the floor unable to look in Jensen’s eyes. He was angry with himself for being an ass. Everything he’d put them through with his inability to just admit that he loved Jensen. Love scared him and that was why he’d done the things he’d did. The idea of being with one man for the rest of his life was a terrifying prospect. His mother and father had that kind of love deep, binding, and then his father had died, snatched away in a single space of a heartbeat. It had destroyed his mom and Jared was positive that he wasn’t strong enough to survive something like that. It was easier he tried to convince himself, if he refused to accept the idea of love.

Disturbed by Jared’s silence, Jensen continued his voice thick with sadness. “You know there have been times I would rather accept the idea of an accident.” A look of horror flickered in Jared’s eyes and Jensen tried to backpedal. “I mean if it was that or another man.” He looked up into Jared’s wide eyes, one hand lifting to cup his jaw, and his thumb caressed Jared’s trembling lips. “Jared I care about you that much. I wish you could understand.”

“Yeah,” Jared snorted, “that makes me feel real secure.”

Jensen shook his head. “I didn’t wish anything too bad on you; broken arm or leg is all.”

“You’re all heart, Jen.” He rolled his eyes and started walking for the exit.

Taking off after Jared, he caught up just as he exited the mission. “You know the worst thing I hate is a jealous lover whether it’s a woman or a man. That’s what I was getting to be, Jay. That’s why I lied to you and took off for Corpus Christi. I started to hate myself and I know you did too.”

By the time they reached the line of trees along the border of the mission, Jensen was patting himself down for a cigarette. It was a nasty habit. He could go for days without one, and then he’d start stressing and all he could think of was the need for that soothing burn of nicotine. He pulled a bent cigarette from his pocket, smoothed it out, and turned into the shadows to see Jared had whipped out a lighter.

Tipping his head, he cupped the cigarette as he lit it. “Thanks. You know the self-hating thing works.”

“To well sometimes,” Jared sighed as he stuffed the lighter in his pocket.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jensen inhaled gaze lifting to the darkening sky before he exhaled a stream of smoke.

Jared chuckled, a self-deprecating sound. “It means…hell I don’t know what it means. All I know is that every day I live there’s a spot shaped just like you, a spot that I need to fill.”

“Well, there are a lot of guys who could fill that spot if you’re looking.”

“I’m not,” Jared whispered as he reached out and pulled Jensen close. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

Jensen pulled away capturing Jared’s elusive gaze. “So you’ve given up guys?”

A short bark of laughter escaped Jared’s lips, his dimples standing out in his tanned face. “It’s not like I’ve become monk of the month, but I’ve been making an effort.”

“There must have been a river of tears from those groupies of yours. “ Jensen deadpanned.

Jared snorted. “I’m being serious here, Jen.” They moved deeper into the trees. “You have to be fair here. It hasn’t been entirely my fault.”

“I know.” Jensen shrugged. “They kept overpowering you.”

“Really funny, but you get a little bit of the blame, too. You with that parade of roommates moving in and out of your condo are enough to drive a man to drink.”

Jensen scoffed. “I didn’t realize they were such a trial for you.”

“What trial? I enjoyed it.” Jared snickered. “You and I sitting in front of the fireplace and suddenly there’s a dude in leather daddy gear sitting there eating Oreos.”

Throwing back his head, Jensen laughed; a deep, real laugh.

“And what about the one with those damn hairless Chihuahuas. I don’t know how many times I woke up to have one of those little rat dogs licking my face or other inappropriate parts.”

Jensen’s laughter grew in volume, tears welling in his eyes.

“And then there was the guy who took tuba lessons and practiced when he couldn’t sleep.”

Breath ragged Jensen wiped at his eyes. “Okay, maybe it was a little rough on you.”

They stood in silence for a few moments watching the western sky go from blue to violet and rose as the sun lowered behind the wispy clouds. Jared took a deep breath and glanced down to where Jensen was sitting beneath one of the trees, eyes reflecting the color of the leaves around them. “I can think of a million reasons why we should try again.”

Jensen didn’t have an answer for that.

***

They were heading back to his car both of them silent, both contemplating Jared’s words. He was beginning to think he’d fucked up.

“I have a shitload of stuff to do, Jay.” Jensen suddenly spoke up. “Richard thinks I should be involved in some art show up in San Francisco.”

Jared could have cared less about Richard--or what he thought. He wanted an answer from Jensen about what he’d suggested. “What do you really think?” he spoke up. “You want to try again straight from the starting line?”

Turning Jensen looked up at him and smiled wide. “What am I going to do with you, Jay?”

Waggling his eyebrows, he pulled Jensen in for a breathtaking kiss, and then pulled away with a brilliant smile of his own, “A lot.”

***

The drive back into downtown was one of light heartedness that neither of them had believed possible. They’d been friends long before they’d become lovers and Jared’s mama had told him that was the recipe for a successful relationship. He prayed she had been right.

Pulling into the private parking garage Jared insisted on walking Jensen up to his front door trying to be the gentleman his mama had raised. Jensen had always teased him about his manners, but after they’d decided to take it up a notch, the teasing increased. Jensen’s favorite one was to tell Jared how he felt just like Scarlett in Gone with the Wind. There were no jokes tonight though. When they reached Jensen’s door Jared leaned in for a kiss, but as if on cue Brock opened the door, eyes going wide.

“Um, hi…excuse me.”

Jensen pulled back cheeks flushed. “Hi.” He turned to Jared. “You’ve met Brock—right? He’s kind of…”

“Your roommate?” Jared spit out.

“Only temporarily until Mac gets back from New York. He needed a place to crash until then.”

Jared sniffed. “Yeah, that’s what you said about the tuba player.”

Laughing Jensen turned and grabbed Jared pulling into a deep intimate kiss that made Brock blush the color of a red rose in full bloom.

“Well, I…um…” Brock squeezed by them. “I’m going to the store…I’ll be back in a while.”

As Brock disappeared down the hall and around the corner, Jared pulled away to catch his breath with a faint laugh. “I swear your apartment needs a damn revolving door.”

“Just like your fly,” Jensen teased.

“Hilarious, Jen, just hilarious.”

Jensen snorted. “Look you know how my parents are. They said they would help out, but until my career really takes off I need help with the expenses.”

“I know.”

“Well, I need to get to work or that career might never get off the ground.” Their gazes met and Jensen finally looked away. “Thanks.”

“Thanks?” Jared raised one eyebrow. “That’s it?”

“Two weeks in Corpus Christi gave me some time to think, Jay. I love you…I do, but damned if I’m getting back on that same old merry go round again. I can’t.”

Jared gritted his teeth, the muscles in his jaw jumping. He’d thought they were making some headway, but now he was pissed. Yeah, he’d screwed up. He wasn’t about to deny it. Jensen was being unreasonable though. “What the hell do you want from me? A notarized statement? Christ, Jen!” he snapped.

Eyes glittering with emotion, Jensen shook his head. “I need a couple of more days to figure out where I’m at with…” his voice trailed off as became too hard to breathe.

Kicking off the wall, Jared nodded. “Okay, you got it. Take the time, get your bearings, and then give me a call.” He stepped in and leaned over brushing a light kiss across Jensen lips then walked away. As Jensen watched him walk away, he sighed, shoulders slumping. Jared didn’t get it, he thought. It was harder than hell for him to do this, but he had to make sure that this time would be the last time they had this conversation again. His heart couldn’t take another crack or it would shatter to dust.

***

Jim was serving two of his customers at the end of the bar when the phone rang at the opposite end. With a quick apology, he excused himself and head for the phone. The bell rang above the door and he glanced over his shoulder to see Jared come in.

“Hey, Jim,” Jared called out as he took a seat at the bar.

“Hey, kid, good to see you.” Jim called back with a smile as he grabbed the receiver and held it to his ear. “Lucy’s Bar can I help you?”

“Jared Padalecki?” He glanced at Jared who was helping himself to a shot of whiskey. “You said your name is Misha?”

Jared lifted his gaze and mouthed softly, “No.”

“Sorry, you just missed him.” Jim lied through his teeth.

***

Across the street outside, in the shadow of a palm, Misha’s eyes narrowed as he glanced at Jared’s car and then back at the bar. He knew the damn bartender was lying. “What do you mean?” he asked softly over the cell.

“Well, what do you think I mean, son.” Jim’s voice drifted over the line. “He’s gone—not here.”

“I think you’d better look again.” Misha clenched his teeth.

A heavy sigh reached his ears and Misha flinched. “Like I said before, son, you missed him. He ain’t here, but if you’re interested in someone a little more suave and sophisticated I’d be happy to…”

Misha hung up with a huff, eyes going dark as pitch.


	6. Chapter 6

Jared was laughing his ass off by the time Jim hung up the phone.

“Now I suppose that’s what I get for being a dirty old man.” He waggled his eyebrows in Jared’s direction that only sent him into another fit of giggles. “Oh, by the way there’s a message for you from a Samantha from San Francisco.”

“Ferris?” Jared sobered up real quick. If Ferris had called back this might be just what he needed to seal the deal with Jensen. After all Richard was bugging the hell out of Jensen to get some work together for that gallery showing up there.

“Yep, that’s it. That douche of a friend of yours Chad gave her this number. Message is Received pictures and biography. Please send a two hour disc of your show ASAP.” 

Jared tossed back the whiskey and smiled. “Thanks, Jim. I appreciate it.”

“Oh, hell, boy don’t you mention it. I can’t tell you how thrilling it is to be your personal assistant.”

Sliding from the barstool, Jared flashed Jim his brightest smile and headed for the door. “You’ll put that on my tab—won’t you?”

Jim rolled his eyes and shooed him out with a wave of his hand.

***

Whistling to himself, Jared practically floated down the stairs. If he were able to score that job with Ferris in San Francisco then he could show Jensen he was dead serious this time. He was beginning to tire of the one-night stands and he was determined to push his stupid fears aside. He knew in his heart, even if Jensen needed a couple more days to sort it out that they belonged together. This couldn’t have come at a better time.

As he approached his car, he realized that someone was in the passenger seat. He slowed his pace and moved around the driver’s side and a knot formed in his gut—Misha. He was slouched in the passenger seat wrapped in a trench. When he realized Jared was there, he smiled wide and lifted a hand.

“Surprise!”

Jared didn’t blink. He reached for the door and opened it sliding behind the wheel. He took a deep breath then stared straight ahead. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s kind of funny.” Misha chuckled. “I was walking along the street over there and I saw your car. I tried calling the bar on my cell and that old bartender in there was telling me you weren’t there and I was looking right at your damn car. Isn’t that funny?” he chuckled, but there was an odd coldness to the sound that had Jared’s hackles rising like his dog’s back home.

“Yeah, funny.” Jared reached in his pocket for his keys.

“Why didn’t you take my call?” There was an edge of anger in Misha’s voice, his eyes eerily bright in the sunlight.

Jared huffed. “Where does it say that I have to drop every damn thing every time the damn phone rings?”

He grinned as if Jared hadn’t just pissed on him. “Did you know that every time you get angry your nostrils flair out like little wings.” He snickered softly. “That’s kind of cute.”

Rolling his eyes, he pushed his keys into the ignition. “Come on, Misha. I gotta go.”

“I’d love a coke.”

“Not tonight!” Jared spit out. “I have to be at the station tonight.”

Eyes wide Misha shook his head. “No you don’t. You’re talking to your number one fan. You don’t work tonight.”

Jared turned away with a frustrated sigh. “Look I have this show I’m trying to set and it happens to be a very important show to me. Okay?” he turned to face Misha with a growl. “That means I have music to pick, I have to write lead-ins, and there’s poetry to select. Now come on will you?”

Suddenly Misha turned eyes sparkling and leaned in close. “Poetry? Let me help. I’m terrific with poetry. I know all kinds by heart.”

“Not tonight!” Jared snarled from between clenched teeth. What the hell was wrong with this guy? They’d fucked a couple of times and now he was acting as if he were significant part of Jared’s life.

Misha turned away, lower lip pushed out in a disappointed pout and then he lunged forward yanking the keys from the ignition. He shoved the door open and flew from the car. He turned and smiled with glee at Jared, lifted his arm and jangled the keys from his fingertips.

“Does he want his keys?” he sang in amusement.

This was getting ridiculous Jared thought as he pushed open the door and slipped from the seat. “Come on, Misha!”

“Speak! Come on!”

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Jared snapped.

“Good boy!” Misha sang out with a giggle. “Let’s hear it! Come on!”

Jared stomped around the rear of the car, Misha’s eyes never leaving his face. “Come on…give me my fucking keys, dude!”

He reached out and Misha darted away a wide grin plastered on his face. It was as if they were playing a game of tag. Jared would lurch forward demanding his keys and Misha would dance away just far enough that the tips of his fingers would graze his coat. This was getting old fast and Jared didn’t have the patience for these games that Misha was playing.

Misha darted down the sidewalk laughing with Jared hot on his heels. His laughter was loud and clear in the warm autumn air. Hands darting out, Jared grabbed the back of Misha’s coat and spun him around the last of his patience vanishing like mist. He grabbed his hands and Misha continued laughing even as he tightened his grip and tried to rip the keys from his hands.

“Give me the god damn keys!” Jared shrieked.

Two large men at the top of the stairs called out. “We need to call the cops?”

Jared turned eyes narrowed, his nails digging into the skin of Misha’s hands. “Get lost!”

With a quick motion, Misha spun to face the men, a crazed look in his eyes. “Yeah, get lost, assholes!” he screamed and Jared spun staring at him as if he’d just seen Lucifer himself.

Taken aback both men took off with a shake of their heads. One of them snorting. “Crazy assed drunken mother fuckers.”

He turned and met Jared’s horrified gaze and giggled the bright smile washing away the madness in his eyes. Jared spun and walked away as fast as he could to his car. Behind him, Misha’s voice called out.

“Bye! See you later!”

A shudder travelled through Jared’s body as he slipped behind the wheel of the car. “Not if I can help it.” He muttered before kicking the car into gear and roaring off.

***

Later that night, Jared pulled into the driveway of his apartment, exhausted and looking forward to a hot shower and a soft bed. He’d tried to focus on compiling the show, but Misha’s face kept intruding. The man was scaring the hell out of him although he couldn’t make himself admitted aloud. It was as if he were two different people; the sexy, sweet, guy who liked to play around and then there was something lying beneath that angelic face. Whatever lay beneath was something Jared didn’t want to see in its entirety. It fucking scared him as nothing had scared him in his life before.

Stepping into the garage, he fumbled with his key ring looking for the key to the door leading into the garden. He nearly dropped it and that’s when he saw it—a huge stuffed dog. He turned on the overhead light and stared at it for a moment before he picked it up, eyes squinting in the dim light as he read the card attached.

 

Misha sent me to keep an eye on you.

So behave yourself!

 

“Did you get all your work done?”

He nearly pissed himself at Misha’s soft voice. Turning he peered out into the shadowed driveway to see him standing there, hands thrust into his coat pockets. Jared dropped the stuffed dog to the ground his gut twisting into a knot.

“What do you want, Misha?” he shoved his hands into his pockets as they began to shake.

“A coke that’s all,” a soft reply came from the shadows.

Jared shook his head, clenching his hands in his pockets until his nails drew blood. “I’ll tell you, tonight, I’m really whipped.”

Misha pushed his coat off his shoulders and Jared stared at him in shock. He was completely naked, the moonlight that pierced the leaves dappling his body with smears of bluish light and darkest shadow. He smiled at Jared teeth a flash of white in darkness and laughed. Jared darted forward and grabbed the coat wrapping it around Misha’s shoulders and pulling him forward into the garage and out of sight of the neighbors.

Without knowing why he did it, after all the promises that he’d made to Jensen, he unlocked that door and shoved Misha through it. He grabbed the dog as an afterthought and slammed the door behind him—locking it tight.

***

The sun was just beginning to rise in the east when the faint strains of Misty echoed through the apartment, a gentle piano melody that filled the cluttered space with lightness. Misha smiled as he made his way between furniture in the dim light, coat firmly belted in place. He entered the shadowy bedroom and paused at the foot of the bed just staring at Jared sleeping.

He laid on his belly, hair a tangled mass of shadows that hid his face, and the sheets tangled around his waist. Beneath the sheets, Jared was naked. He should know because he was the one that stripped him. The taste of Jared’s cum, bitter and salty, still lingered in the back of his throat. His ass ached with the memory of that magnificent cock driving him to the edge of ecstasy unlike any other cock had. One of his legs was drawn up beneath the sheets and the other stretched out his bare foot dangling off the end of the bed.It was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen in his life.

Moving around the bed, he lay down next to Jared and ran his hand over his bare back. Jared moaned softly and shifted, eyes blinking sleepily as he lifted his head. He rolled over on his back and yawned. “What time is it?”

“Time for me to go home—go back to sleep,” Misha whispered and leaned in to press his lips to Jared’s in slow sweet kiss. “Hey, I have an idea.”

“What’s that?” Jared mumbled.

“Some night this week after the show, I’ll cook dinner, my place—deal?”

“I’ll call you.”

He pressed a final kiss to Jared’s brow and stood, picking up the stuffed dog, and sat it next to Jared on the bed. “Thursday’s good for me.” Then he was gone the door shutting behind him.

Jared rolled over flinging one arm over the stuffed dog and then waking fully when he opened one eye to find him facing the dog. He blinked rapidly for a moment then tossed the dog off the bed with an aggravated grunt.

What the hell have I done? He wondered.

Setting up he reached for his discarded jeans and pulled them on. He stood and ran his fingers through his hair, yawning, and walked to the stereo, shutting off the CD player. Stretching he moved towards the door and paused as he glanced at the mirror above the dresser from the corner of his eye then stepped back to face it. Drawn in red marker was a huge heart and scrawled within were the words; Misha loves Jared.

God, I’m so fucking screwed. Jared thought.


	7. Chapter 7

“Now from KRTU 91.7, the elegant funk of Christian McBride & Inside Straight.” Jared leaned into the mike trying to sound sexy even if it was the last thing he felt like.

Chad pushed open the booth door. “Here’s a fresh set of tape for your air check. You want me to set it up for you?”

Shaking his head Jared exhaled, “Naw, man. Just leave it there.”

“All right then,” Chad stretched, “I think I’ll go hit the clubs, but first I think I’ll have me a smoke.” He reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a freshly rolled joint. “Care to partake? You look like you could use a couple of hits.”

Jared’s nose crinkled up in distaste. “Take it in the other room—would you? Hell, I get stoned just breathing the air around here most days.”

Rolling his eyes, Chad ran the joint beneath his nose inhaling. “Fine be that way, dude.” he turned and walked out the door.

“Chad?” Jared called out.

“Yeah?”

He reached up and rubbed the ache that seemed to grow behind his eye. “Do you ever find yourself completely out of control?”

“Anybody I know?” Chad called out from the other room.

Jared considered not telling Chad, but he’d started this conversation. There was no way Chad would let him backpedal. “Yeah, you met him a couple of weeks ago at my house.”

“Oh, old blue eyes? That’s some fine shit to lose control with.”

“What you’re gay now?” Jared huffed.

Chad popped around the corner. “Dude, I am secure enough in my heterosexuality to know when another guy is hot. So what’s the fucking problem with this guy?”

Leaning back in his chair, Jared sighed. “You know how you start out just having fun? You think you’re being clear and honest up front, but then everything blows up in your face.”

“Tell me about it, man. Chicks ain’t any better.” Chad took a drag off the smoldering joint pinched between his fingers. He paused and raised an eyebrow. “Wait a minute. Does this guy think that you’re an item?”

Jared dropped his head to the desk. “God, Chad. Please just focus.”

“Fine.” he exhaled voice gritty. “So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I’ve been trying to uncomplicated my life and all I’ve done is complicate it more.” He lifted his head peering at Chad from beneath his bangs. “I can’t even answer the doorbell now and Jen is back in town.”

“Really? Jensen? When did he get back?”

“I ran into him Sunday.”

Chad pinched his joint out and tucked it away. Leaning forward he chuckled. “I’ll tell you the truth, Jared. I’ve always thought Jensen was one of the most attractive and talented dudes in this town. How in the hell you get so much action is beyond me.”

Sitting up, Jared leaned back in his chair. He ran his fingers idly across the polished wood of the desk. “It’s a hang up I have, but I’ve decided I want to be with Jen, but I need to get rid of this guy. I’ve been really stupid Chad and now I can’t seem to solve.”

“Well, you know what they say, dude.” Chad turned to go.

“No, what?”

He paused at the door and turned back with a smirk. “He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword.”

Jared snorted, eyes rolling. “Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out—okay?”

“Later, man.” Chad waved him off as he slipped outside the door slamming behind him with a resounding echo.

***

“We’ll have more smooth sounds in just one minute, but first, at ten minutes to the hour, we’re broadcasting from KRTU 91.7 on the beautiful campus of Trinity University.” Jared leaned back in his chair watching the digital counter. The silence was nice after Chad’s departure. He had a love, hate relationship with the annoying bastard had since they’d met freshman year at Trinity. Although Texas A&M had given him that full scholarship, he’d turned it down. He’d wanted to stay here in San Antonio, his home, and Trinity had a great music department.

The ring of the telephone suddenly interrupted his thoughts and he picked up the line. “KRTU, Jared Padalecki speaking.”

“The whole point of having an answering service is to call them every once and awhile to see if you have messages.”

“Misha what do you want now?”

“You’re not here yet and I was worried.”

Jared frowned, “What?”

“I hope burgers are fine.” Misha sighed. “The market didn’t have a decent pot roast.”

“Now wait a minute. Just hold on.”

“You’re not telling me you forgot that we have a date tonight?”

“I was supposed to call you on that.” He sighed, frustration knotting in his belly.

“It’s just that I feel kind of silly laying here on my new silk sheets. I assumed…” Misha’s voice tightened. “Apparently, I assumed wrong.”

“That’s right,” Jared replied. “You assumed wrong.”

“Well, you don’t have to come over, Jared. That is if you have something better to do.”

Something snapped in Jared. He couldn’t put his finger on the reason. Maybe it was that smug self-assurance in Misha’s voice or the way the man had of getting what he wanted. Well, he was done with the clingy little bastard. He cleared his throat. “No, that’s alright. I’ll be over in a little while. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.”

“Whatever you say,” Misha purred. “In the meantime, haven’t you forgotten something else?”

One of Jared’s eyebrows lifted, “What’s that?”

“Weren’t you going to play Misty for me?”

“Fine,” Jared sighed. “one more time.”

“Thank you, babe.”

The line went dead before Jared could reply and he set the phone back in its cradle. Iciness replaced the frustration in his gut and it crept up his spine. Trying to ignore the depth of the cold, he set up the next song as the notes of the previous drifted away into white noise. “And now we have a pretty one,” he leaned into the mike, “for lonely lovers on a cool autumn night. It’s the great Erroll Garner classic, Misty. And this one is for Misha.”

***

The sound of the doorbell echoed through the candle lit apartment as Misha scuttled about the kitchen. He was nervous this time unlike the other times he’d met with Jared. Their relationship was evolving and although Jared still played hard to get at times, Misha knew it was just a game. Looking into his eyes Misha saw the love there burning bright.

“Hold on a minute!” he called out as the bell rang again.

Moving to the dining table, he sat down the tray of appetizers, crossed the room, returned with a gift-wrapped box that he sat at Jared’s place, and then hurried to the door. He did a quick check in the mirror, smoothing the soft cotton of his pale pink pinstriped dress shirt, and then ran his fingers through his hair. Striking a pose, elbow propped on the mantle of the fireplace, Misha took a deep breath and smiled.

“Come in!” he called out. The door opened and Jared entered. His smile grew wide. “Hello.” Misha purred, teeth a flash of brilliance in his face.

“Hi,” Jared sighed as he closed the door behind him and crossed the room.

“Cold night?” he tipped his head towards the jacket Jared wore.

“Yeah.”

Misha’s eyes sparkled in the firelight as he studied Jared. “But you got here anyway—didn’t you?”

“Look,” Jared cleared his throat, arms crossed over his chest. “Misha there’s something we’re gonna have to get straight.”

He completely ignored the fact that Jared wasn’t in the mood for the typical bullshit. “Amazing what a big strong man will do for a good burger.”

“Now, look…” Jared started.

“Wait a minute. You haven’t told me how good I look.” Misha did a little spin letting Jared get a good look at how his jeans cupped his ass.

Jared huffed. “You look fine.”

“I thought you’d like the shirt in particular considering you seem to like pink.”

“Now, listen. Can we talk?”

“Wait. First…” Misha moved closer, hand lifting, and his fingers pressing against Jared’s lips. He grabbed Jared by the arm and led him to one of the chairs. He pushed him down and knelt reaching behind him to the table to grab the gift-wrapped package. With a bright smile, he presented the package, but Jared just stared at him. When Jared made no move to open the box, Misha carefully removed the silver paper. He lifted the lid and pulled out a gorgeous snakeskin cowboy boot. Holding out the boot, he met Jared gaze with excitement. “Surprise.”

Jared didn’t even blink. Not even a smile and Misha’s smile vanished. “What’s wrong? Don’t you like them?”

“Yeah, they’re great,” Jared grunted, “but…”

Misha dropped the boot in the box leaning forward. “Oh, come on sexy don’t spoil my fun. I love to give you things. Madame Butterfly time.” he sat the box aside. “First the geisha removes honorable shoes.”

That was it. Jared was done. He lurched forward out of the chair and to his feet. “Stop it, Misha! We’ve got to fucking talk and that’s it.”

Kneeling there, face a mask of innocence Misha looked up at him with glittering eyes. “Have I done something wrong?”

“I’m just trying to be straight with you, that’s all!” Jared’s face flushed with anger.

Misha let out a soft amused sound, drawing up on his knees, and grasped Jared’s trembling hands. “Be nice to me instead.” He whispered.

He ripped his hands from Misha’s and pushed him back. “Jesus fucking Christ!” Jared hissed.

Eyes glittering with moisture Misha looked up at him confusion apparent in his features. “I don’t understand. Are you trying to say you don’t love me anymore?”

Jared’s jaw dropped as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing. “I never told you that I loved you!” his voice rose and disbelief filled his eyes. “Never!”

Kneeling up again, Misha reached for his hands. “Maybe not in words, but…” he paused for a moment tears welling in his wide eyes. “ There are lots of ways of saying things that have nothing to do with words, Jared.”

Jared backed up. “God, Misha, I’m sorry you read it that way.”

His expression suddenly shifted, his eyes darkening with some internal fury. “It’s that other fucking whore—isn’t it?”

“What are you talking about?” Jared’s eyes widened.

Misha was on his feet, voice rising, and his face flushed with heat. “That silver-framed picture on your dresser!”

A fist clutched Jared’s heart as an image of the photo entered his mind. Jensen setting on the beach at Corpus Christi, huge smile in place as he stared out at the waves. “That picture has nothing to do with you! And neither does he!”

“Then what does?” Misha hissed through clenched teeth.

He turned and headed for the door. “I never lied to you!”

“Big fucking deal!” Misha screamed. “He never lied to me! What the hell do you want for that? A Congressional Medal of Honor?” He was on Jared’s ass, hand clenched so tight that his nails drew blood. “You said…!”

Jared spun, eyes narrowed, and teeth clenched. “It’s over!”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Misha darted in front of Jared grabbing the front of his jacket. “Sit here dressed up like some expensive boy-toy waiting for my lord and master to call?”

Grabbing Misha’s biceps Jared spun him around and pushed him back against the wall. He leaned in their noses nearly touching. “Nobody asked you to wait for anything!” he turned back to the door and nearly yanked it off its hinges.

“You’re not going to dump me!” Misha roared as if he were a wounded beast. “I’m not a bag of fucking trash!”

“Get off my fucking back, Misha!”

“Get off your back? That’s where you’ve been keeping me—isn’t it?”

Jared darted out the door and down the stairs, Misha calling after him.“You’re nothing you son of a bitch! You’re not even good in bed!” Misha howled at the top of his lungs. “I just felt sorry for you! Bastard! You pathetic fucking bastard!”

Revving the engine, Jared shifted the car into gear and hit the gas. Gravel skittered into the street and the tires left skid marks as he spun out of the drive and down the street. The only thing on his mind was escape and the hope he’d never lay eyes on Misha Collin’s again as long as he lived.


	8. Chapter 8

Jared drove the streets of San Antonio as if the devil himself were riding his shirttails. He’d been with a lot of men and even women before he’d come out, but none of them had flipped like Misha. There had always been the understanding that it was simply physical pleasure. Even Alexis who he’d seen off and on in his early twenties had known that, and when she had started to find herself drawn to him; she called it off.

Yanking the car to the shoulder Jared threw open the door and exited it not even bothering to cut the engine. He paced the shoulder, dust drifting around him in the moonlight the lights of San Antonio vanished long ago in the distance. Maybe he was taking this too damn serious, but the knot that had formed in his stomach earlier in the night was now weighing him down.

He ceased his pacing and lifted his gaze to the stars, fingers running through his hair. Some small part of him hoped that it was just Misha being angry. That when he’d had a few days to cool down that he’d see the truth. Another part though, the more intelligent part of him somehow knew that there was something far more wrong with the other man. Those two parts fought one another internally until Jared was ready to pull himself bald.

“This is insane,” he grunted to himself.

Returning to the car, he turned around and headed home.

***

Jared arrived home wanting nothing more than to sleep away his woes. He’d parked the car and was unlocking the door when he heard the phone ring. Somehow, he knew even before he entered the house who was calling. No amount of prayer or number of wishes would change it. Shoulders hunched he stared at the phone trying to will the incessant ringing away, but it didn’t help. Finally, he gave in, picked up the receiver, and cleared his throat. “Hello?”

A half-choked sob reached out across the line followed by Misha’s tear soaked voice. “Jared, please don’t hang up. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean all those things I said. Will I see you tomorrow?”

He released an exhausted sigh. “You don’t listen—do you?”

“Please, Jared, just let me come over. If I could just see you…talk to you.”

“No, Misha.”

“But I love you, Jared. I love you.” Misha’s voice was broken, a desperate edge to his words.

Jared just dropped to the bed silent then slammed the phone down cutting the connection. He waited a few seconds and when the phone didn’t ring again immediately he shrugged out of his jacket. No sooner had his jacket hit the bed than the phone began ringing again. Grabbing his jacket, he tossed it across the room and glared at the phone. He knew it was Misha just as he’d known the first time. He grabbed the phone lifting it to his ear.

“Jared! If I could just…”

Hanging up he sat the receiver aside and stretched out on the bed, back against the wall. A few seconds later, the soft beeping of the line began to lull him into a hypnotic state. He should have listened to Jim in the beginning. Fear of commitment had led him here into this dark undertow of insanity. How was he suppose to carry on, create the life he wanted with Jensen when this shadow loomed over him? God, he thought. What have I done?

***

Two days later Jensen called him and he almost didn’t answer the phone. Actually, he didn’t until the machine picked. He’d decided an answering machine was the solution to his present problem if he were going to have any peace at home. Not surprising the calls had stopped as soon as he plugged in the damn thing. So when Jensen had called he’d nearly shit himself. Now here they were in the mission’s park again, sitting in the grass and enjoying the cool shadows beneath the trees as a respite from the warm sun. He was letting his mind wander as he stared up into the branches above the faint breeze stirring them just enough to hypnotize him with the movement of light and shadow across his face.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

He snapped out of his thoughts and turned to Jensen who was studying him with worried eyes the color of moss and sunlight. “Nothing. Why?”

Jensen snorted softly as he shifted closer and reached out, hand settling on Jared’s thigh. “Come on, man. Talk to me. You haven’t heard a word I’ve said to you.”

“Yes, I have.” He folded his own hand over Jensen’s and squeezed. “I’ve heard everything you’ve said.”

Raising one eyebrow Jensen leaned closer whispering in his ear. “You did?” He nipped at Jared’s earlobe and Jared chuckled. “Then tell me.”

“You don’t believe me?” Jared’s dimples appeared.

Jensen pressed a kiss to his throat. “Go ahead.”

“Okay, oh wise man. We’re supposed to go to a party at Chad and Sophia’s new place tomorrow night. I’m supposed to meet you there at nine. And the address is…” a frown drew his eyebrows together as he searched his mind.

Bursting out in laughter, Jensen punched him in the shoulder. “I didn’t tell you that silly—so don’t worry.” He stretched out on the blanket next to Jared and glanced up at him with a smirk.

Jared rolled his eyes. “See how you are?”

“I don’t know the address yet. I’ll call you tomorrow—okay?”

The sudden urge to kiss that smirk off Jensen full pink lips came over him and he leaned in doing just that. He slid one hand behind Jensen cupping the back of his head. As the kiss deepened, Jared felt more relaxed than he had in days. His heart thundered with a desire to take Jensen right there, but he knew Jensen wasn’t like that.

Finally, they drew apart out of breath. Their eyes met and Jensen licked his lips. “Was that a yes about calling you?”

“Yeah.” Jared laughed reaching out to pull Jensen close again. “Call me tomorrow with the address.”

“Jared,” Jensen sighed, “we have to go.”

Jared grunted in disappointment. “But we’re just getting to the good part.”

“Yeah, but I have to pick Brock up at six. The little bastard decided he loved San Antonio so much he got a job.”

“Oh, God…” Jared rolled over on his back, arms flung wide. “The pain…just what we needed. Another asshole in town.”

Jensen brushed his fingers through Jared’s hair. “Oh, he’s not really that bad.”

“He’s engaged to your sister.” Jared pushed up on one elbow. “That means their…”

“Don’t say it!” Eyes going wide in horror he smacked his arm.

Jared let out a hysterical giggle. “Okay, fine party pooper.”

“Party pooper?” Jensen quirked one eyebrow. “We’re talking about my baby sister and I’d rather not think about S-E-X when it comes to her. Besides, Brock is moving out tonight. He found an apartment for him and Mac. She’ll be back in a couple of weeks.”

“Now that’s the best news I’ve heard in ages.” Jared leaned in eyebrows wagging in a suggestive manner. “I think you just made my fucking year, babe.”

“And Steve is moving in.” Jensen began laughing as Jared flopped back to the ground with an exaggerated groan.

In the trees at the top of the incline, hidden in shadow, Misha stood still as death watching the two men. His face was expressionless, a frozen mask of flesh, but his eyes told a different story. They burned with the same fury they had two nights before. He’d been right, he thought. The man in the silver framed photo on Jared’s dresser. He’d taken Jared from him, snatched him away as if he were some mythical winged creature. A siren that sang with a forked tongue.

He should be shaking with anger, but he wasn’t.

Jared had been mesmerized. It wasn’t his fault. He just needed to snap him out of its spell. Make him realize that he’d been deceived by the wicked beast of lust. Love would always win out over lust. Love was powerful.

He had love on his side.

***

Jerking awake, Jared lay still for a moment trying to figure out what had woke him and then the pounding resumed. Someone was beating at his door. With a groan, he shifted to his side as the pounding became more insistent and urgent. The faint glow of the alarm clock told him it was way too late for a normal social visit. “Someone had better be dead,” he grumbled as he sat up and reached for his jeans. He stood tugging them on as the pounding got louder. Turning on the bedside lamp, he zipped up, frown creasing his forehead as he brushed his tangled hair out of his eyes. He glared in the direction of his annoying visitor’s insistent knock with a grunt of annoyance.

Moving out through the patio doors, the stone of the garden path cool beneath his bare feet, he skirted the meditation pound the scent of the roses strong and sweet. He reached the garage door and unlocked it only to have Misha push past him. “What the hell?”

“Don’t you dare tell me you were sleeping!” Misha screamed.

Jared gritted his teeth and glared at Misha with a growl on his lips. “What the hell else would I be doing at three in the fucking morning?” 

“I’m surprised your conscience was that clear!”

Turning away, Jared ran his hands over his face trying to clear the last of the cobwebs from his mind. “What the hell do you want, Misha?”

Misha was pacing back and forth, his entire body vibrating with emotional energy. “What do you want, Misha? What do you want?” he shrieked. “Do I have to want something? Can’t I just come over? Or is that inconvenient?”

“Now just wait a fucking…!”

“Could it be I’ve screwed up? Could it be that someone has been sleeping in Papa Bear’s bed?”

Jared was pissed now. What the hell did this fucker think he was doing? “Now wait just a god damned minute!”

Misha darted away from him heading towards the open doors. “Come out! Come out wherever you are!”

Hot on Misha’s heels he wondered what the fuck he expected to find. Panting Misha darted into the bedroom only to discover an empty bed, lamp light flooding the room in a buttery glow. He stood there in shock for a moment then turned to come face to face with an infuriated Jared, arms folded over his chest and eyes narrowed.

“I’m…I thought,” Misha stuttered eyes wide as saucers. “Oh, God don’t look at me like that, Jared. Please don’t.”

Jaw clenched he inhaled sharply through his nose. “I don’t know what the hell to say to you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I should have known you wouldn’t do anything to ruin it,” Tears were welling in his eyes now, his lips trembling.

“To spoil what?” Jared snapped.

“What we have between us.”

Jared’s face twisted into a mask of fury. “We don’t have a god damn thing between us! How many fucking ways am I going to have to say that?”

“I don’t care how many ways you say it!” Misha’s voice rose edged with hysteria. “It’s not true!”

“What am I going to have to do to convince you?”

Misha flung himself into Jared’s bed, wrapping his body around Jared’s pillow and inhaled his scent. “It’s not true!” he screamed. “We love each other! We belong together!”

“What are you some crazed harpy of a woman?” Jared cursed beneath his breath. “Find your fucking balls and get a grip!” Jared grabbed a tee shirt from the dresser and pulled it on over his head still cursing a blue streak. As he did Misha went quiet, eyes huge, and pupils blown so wide they appeared black.

“What are you doing?” he choked out. 

“I’m getting dressed and driving your stupid ass home!” Jared snapped as he searched the room for his shoes.

Misha’s sat up breathing ragged and eyes luminous and wet. “Why are you playing these games?” he demanded. “Why are you pretending you don’t love me?”

He spun around with a snort. “I don’t believe I’m even hearing this shit!”

“But I love you!” Misha croaked out.

Jared shook his head as he spotted his flip-flops, they’d have to do. “You don’t know the vaguest fucking thing about love. We don’t even know each other.” He hissed as he yanked his jacket on.

Suddenly Misha quieted. “Wait a minute. You don’t have to do this—I’ll drive home.”

“Are you sure?” Jared cursed himself for giving a damn at this point.

“Positive.” Misha nodded as he wiped at his eyes. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?” He stood and headed for the bathroom without waiting for an answer.

Shaking his head, Jared stripped off his jacket and flung it on the bed on his way to the garden patio doors. He didn’t know what to do about Misha or what to believe for that matter. One minute the guy was shrieking and flailing as if Jared had killed his best friend and his puppy then the next he was calm as a fucking cucumber. He didn’t need this shit not when he was trying to get his relationship with Jensen back on track.

From the bathroom, he heard the water turn on and he sighed. If he were lucky, the crazy bastard would hurry up before Jared fell asleep on his feet. Stepping through the doors he walked along the edge of the pond, the sound of the fountain soothing, and inhaled the sweet scent of the autumn roses. This place had once been his sanctuary, but now darkness plagued it even in daylight. He closed the door into the garage and headed back, the sound of the water shutting off as he stepped into the darkened apartment. He waited a few seconds then frowned when Misha didn’t come out of the bathroom.

“You ready, man?” Jared called out, but when there was no answer from Misha, his heart skipped a beat. He walked to the bathroom and paused. Maybe he was being paranoid, he thought as he lifted his hand and knocked. “You okay?” he called out again. “Misha?” Silence greeted him and his heart started to race. He grabbed the handle only to discover Misha had locked the door. Fuck, he thought. “Misha!” When there was still no answer, he rammed the door with his shoulder, the ancient lock breaking easily beneath his weight. He stumbled forward and nearly fell before he got his balance. When he looked up his eyes widened in horror. Misha was standing in the center of the bathroom, arms outstretched, and sleeves rolled up. Pale as a ghost, he held his upturned wrists out to Jared blood dripping down to pool on the tile floor. His gaze was unfocused as his legs gave beneath him, knees hitting the tile hard.

“For you,” he gasped tears trailing down his face. “I’d do anything for you.”


	9. Chapter 9

“How bad is it?”

“Not as bad as it looked. I cleaned and sutured the wounds.”

"Thank God.”

“You need to call the cops.” Jim growled as he closed up his bag. “What the hell were you thinking calling me instead of them?”

Jared was pacing back and forth, fingers threading through his hair. “I panicked—okay? All I could think was that I had to do something and you said you’d been a medic in Vietnam. So...” he turned to face Jim with an exhausted expression, “I called you.”

Snorting Jim moved to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and pulled out two beers. He slammed the door shut and offered one to Jared. Accepting it with a glance of embarrassment from beneath tangled bangs; he popped the cap and took a deep pull.

“You know, kid, you make things way too damn complicated for yourself.” Jim popped his own beer and took a drink, eyes never leaving Jared’s face. “You should have called in the cops before it got this far. Does Jensen even…?”

“No, he doesn’t and he’s not going to.”

Jim shook his head and pulled off his cap wiping his brow. “Well, ain’t that the dumbest damn thing I’ve heard in a coon’s age.”

“It’s not dumb…” Jared stuttered. “I just can’t put this crap on him.”

Taking another pull on his beer, Jim’s eyebrows rose. “Look, Princess if you want to fix what you fucked up with Jensen then the first fucking thing you need to do is be honest. Lying about that crazy fucker in there,” he jerked his thumb towards the bedroom, “ain’t going to give you any brownie points with your man when he finds out.”

Jared slammed the beer down on the counter and glanced at the bedroom door down the hall. “He won’t find out!” he hissed.

“Keep telling yourself that, Chuckles, and you might actually begin to believe it.” Jim finished off his beer and stepped around Jared with a warning glance. “They always find out eventually and it’s never pretty when they do. Mark my words.”

“Do you think he’ll try it again?” Jared whispered.

Jim paused in the door. “Who knows? Chances are he won’t, but then again.” he grabbed his bag and left without another word.

Shoulders slumped he reached for his beer, tossing the last of it back in one swallow. Jim was right, damn him to hell, he thought. Last night had been the final straw with Misha, but he couldn’t help shouldering some of the blame. He’d know from the moment Misha had popped up at his apartment that day to cook dinner that he had a problem, but he’d allowed his little head to do the thinking for him. The man was voracious in bed and he had no qualms about letting Jared top with a master’s hand. They’d done things that Jared would never expect Jensen to do and it was exhilarating.

Heading to the bedroom, he peered in the doorway. Misha was sleeping peacefully, knocked out by the drugs Jim had given him. Sighing softly Jared’s gaze drifted down to the bandages that covered both of Misha’s wrists and he wonder if this was it. Had this been the last attempt to make what they had done into something more than just sex. He prayed it was.

As he turned away, Misha’s eyes drifted open to watch his retreating back. There was nothing in his eyes no anger, regret, no emotion at all—just emptiness. Then his eyes drifted shut again.

 

***

 

In the distance, Jared could hear the nearby church’s bells toll the hour—three. Cursing softly he juggled the bowl of soup out of the microwave and elbowed the door shut. He’d focused on getting some work done most of the day, but every hour or so he’d go check on Misha. Whatever Jim had him take had pretty much taken all the fight out of him, not that Jared was complaining, but he wanted to get Misha back to his own apartment. Tonight was the party at Chad and Sophia’s new place. He’d promised Jensen that he’d attend the party and damned if he was letting anything get in his way.

Setting the soup on a tray along with some bread and a glass of juice, he picked it up and wove his way through the clutter of his apartment. He missed his dogs, but his small apartment was no place for them. His mom had agreed to keep them until he could find better accommodations and that had been nearly a year ago. He shook off his personal pity party and cleared his throat before he stepped into his bedroom.

Misha was staring out the window with a lost expression in his eyes and again the guilt rose up bitter in Jared’s throat. “How ya feeling?” he spoke up startling Misha from his reverie. He walked around the bed and sat the tray on the bedside table.

“Okay,” Misha sighed.

Jared turned and leaned in helping Misha to set up, “Here,” he reached for another pillow and fluffed them up behind his back. As Misha leaned back with a sigh, Jared retrieved the tray. “I brought you some soup.” He sat the tray over Misha’s lap.

Offering Jared a faint smile, Misha sighed. “It looks good.” He started to pick up the spoon and then dropped it in the bowl, a faint flush coloring his cheeks. “I don’t know what to say. It frightens me to think about it.”

“Then don’t think about it.” Jared offered with a faint smile.

Misha lifted his head, eyes wide and gleaming with sadness. “Oh, I don’t mean me. I mean you.” When Jared frowned in confusion, he continued. “Gay lover commits suicide in local DJ’s home. It’s not very good publicity for a man in your position.”

There was something in the way Misha tilted his head--a gleam in his eyes--that had all the hair standing up on Jared’s arms and the back of his neck. Jared wasn’t one to jump at shadows, not easily cowed, but Misha—that fucking scared him. “Get some rest. When you’re feeling better I’ll take you home.”

“Thank you, Jared.”

The expression in his eyes and his tone never changed. Jared had the impression that Misha had just threatened him. They stared at one another for a moment and the sudden ring of the phone broke that dark tenuous hold. Jared took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Your clothes are hanging in the closet,” he turned away tipping his head towards the closet.

Misha was still staring at him, his body eerily still as the phone rang again. “Maybe you should answer that.”

“Yeah,” Jared ran his fingers through his hair nervously. “I’ll get it in the other room.”

Eyes narrowing Misha watched him leave the room and then turned to stare out the window, face emotionless and cold.

 

***

 

Jared picked up the phone, his hands still trembling, and swallowed hard. “Hello?”

“You’re not answering your cell,” Jensen’s worried voice drifted over the line. “I wanted to see if we still on for tonight.”

“Yeah,” he released a relieved breath. “I’m even dressed and ready to go. What time is the party?”

Jensen chuckled, “I was just thinking…” he growled, “Steve just left to set up his equipment for the party tonight. Would you be that disappointed if we didn’t go to the party? What if we just stayed here tonight?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Jared hummed thoughtfully. “I think maybe I could survive one less of Chad’s parties.”

“Don’t leave me hanging to long.” Jensen snorted.

“That’s me at the door.” Laughter exploded from Jared’s chest.

“Jared,”

“Yeah?”

“The way I look at it…to hell with San Francisco.”

Jared smiled wide, “Bye, man. See you in a bit.”Hanging up, Jared sat the phone back in its cradle and as it clicked in place, a noise caught his attention and he turned toward the bedroom. Misha was moaning softly and he frowned at the pained sounds that were rising in volume. He headed for the bedroom and when he stepped in the door, he could see Misha was asleep again, but tossing and turning. A nightmare, he thought.He moved around the bed and leaned in watching Misha’s face twist. Tears were trailing down his face as he fisted the blankets, words so faint Jared couldn’t make them out tumbling over his lips. He reached out to touch Misha’s shoulder, “Misha?”

As soon has his fingers connected Misha jerked up, eyes huge and filled with fear. A scream ripped from him and he began slapping at Jared as if to fend off whatever monster had been haunting his dreams.“Misha!” Jared shouted grabbing both his shoulders and shaking him until the scream silenced replaced by panting breathes. “What is it?”

“Nightmare,” Misha gasped. “I was hanging from the edge of a building, screaming for your help, and you just stood there staring at me. Watching. Just watching and then I fell.” His whole body was shaking.

Jared frowned. “It was just a dream.”

“Oh, God, I’m alone.” Misha choked out. “Jared, please…” he wrapped his arms around Jared’s neck clinging to him as if he were a life preserver. “ Please don’t leave me.”

Slumping to the bed, a hopeless light shone in Jared’s eyes as Misha nearly crawled in his lap, head resting against his chest as if it were a lead weight, weighing Jared down. He was lost. He would never rid himself of this plague—never. He was trapped, unable to escape. If anyone was falling to their death, it was Jared.

Except no one was there to save him.

 

***

 

The sun had sat and the bedroom was swathed in shadows leaving Jared to stare into nothingness as he listened to Misha’s gentle breathing. He wasn’t sure when the other man had fallen asleep, but he knew he had to call Jensen and apologize—again. Carefully he shifted from beneath Misha and settled him into the bed, lifting the comforter up over him. Misha sighed, smiled in his sleep, and snuggled into the pillows. For a moment, Jared held his breath then slowly backed away from the bed. As quiet as possible he slipped from the bedroom, down the hall and to his office. He released a breath and picked up the phone to dial Jensen.

“Jared.”

He froze to the spot, finger hovering over the buttons at the sound of Misha’s voice.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.”

Turning he met Misha’s sad eyes across the dark room and settled the phone into its cradle with a sigh. Misha studied him a moment as if he were trying to feel out his emotional state then he stepped closer, the pajama pants he wore whispering with each step.

“If you have plans tonight,” he gave the phone a pointed look. “Then you could just take me home. Maybe that’s for the best.”

He opened his mouth and cursed himself internally when what he’d intended to say came out completely different. “No,” he sighed. “No there was nothing.”

“Good,” Misha replied, voice almost a purr as he knelt down in front of Jared.

Jared panicked and before Misha could make a move, he knelt as well.

“Isn’t this nice,” embracing Jared he hugged him tight. “Just the two of us here, alone together at last.”

God help me—please. Jared thought.

 

***

 

Morning came sunlight bright in an azure sky devoid of clouds, but it also came with Sandy, a very unhappy Sandy. Jared had hired Sandy as a housekeeper a couple of months prior, Sophia had recommended her. They were both students at Trinity and friends. Sandy did cleaning jobs on her free days to help pay her way through school. She came in on Mondays and Thursdays every week and they had become good friends even though he claimed she was awful bossy for such a tiny thing.

“Jesus, here we go again,” Sandy grumped as she came into the house taking in the clutter and mess. “Single men are the worst.” She spotted Jared stretched out on his sofa, empty beer bottles scattered over the coffee table and snorted loudly, “Stone cold dead to the world.”

Jared lifted his head, eyes clouded with sleep, string of drool stretching from his mouth to the sofa cushion. “Huh?” he mumbled.

“Must have been one hell of a party,” she announced loudly as she returned from the kitchen with the green recycling bin. Picking up empty bottles, she tossed them in glass hitting glass loudly causing Jared to groan as he sat up.

“Go away, Sandy,” he whimpered, fingertips rubbing at the pulse between his eyes.

Sandy smirked with a flash of white teeth against caramel skin, “Any more dead bodies around?”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Just come back tomorrow or next year sometime?” he groaned again at the clatter of glass.

“Better go check the rest of the house,” she snickered.

Jared pushed up in a panic scurrying after Sandy, eyes bloodshot, and hair tangled.

“Alright!” Sandy hollered as she darted through the garden and into the other section of the house through the patio doors. “I hope you’re all decent cause I don’t want to see any hens or cocks in here!”

Sandy stopped in her tracks, eyes wide at the mess, and Jared nearly ran over her in his haste to warn her about Misha.

“Damn, Jared, I thought the partying was in the past.”

Jared frowned and glanced around the bedroom, “Misha?” She rolled her eyes as he headed for the bathroom door and knocked. “Misha?” he pushed the door open.

“Lose something, tiger?” Sandy giggled.

He huffed and turned with a pained expression. “Come on, Sandy. Can’t you just find it in your heart to come back later?”

Hands propped on her hips she raised one delicate eyebrow as she crossed the room. “This is later, pussycat!” she reached up flicking his nose playfully. “I’m paying you back for the day I couldn’t make last week.” She turned on heel and started on his bed. “Misha?” she inquired as she lifted the blanket peering beneath. “Misha?” she opened the small closet and stuck her head in as if she were searching.

“That’s really funny, Sandy.” Jared snorted as he moved back towards the bed.

She closed the closet and spun to face him. “You know what I can’t figure out. With all this action going on here why you were crashing on the couch.”

“What is this? Some kind of sex survey?” Jared growled. “I don’t go over to your place and ask all kinds of dumb assed questions!”

Laughing, Sandy blew him a kiss. “Maybe you should, pussycat, might just open a whole new way of life for you.”

The phone rang and Jared lurched forward only to get Sandy’s hand in his face. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Let’s try this with a little class—shall we?”

She picked up the phone with a wink, “Mr. Padalecki’s residence. Oh, I’ll see.” Covering the speaker, she grinned at Jared, waggling her eyebrows. “Would you like to speak to a Samantha Ferris?”  
Jared’s eyes went wide as he moved across the room. “Yeah, yeah I want to talk to her. Thanks.” He snagged the phone as Sandy gave him a sidelong glance and spoke up. “Hello?”

“Hello, Mr. Padalecki. Samantha Ferris, we loved the CD of your show. There are one or two others still in the running, but frankly…” she let the insinuation hang in the air for a few seconds before she continued. “Can we meet for lunch today? Is Ibiza’s by the Hilton Palacio del Rio still good?”

Jared chuckled. “Yeah, it’s great.”

“I’m in the mood for some Mediterranean. Reserve a table in your name…two o’clock?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then I’ll see you then Mr. Padalecki.”

“Okay.”

As he hung up the phone, Sandy giggled behind him, “Looks like we found Misha.” He spun around to see her waving a slip of paper in the air. He dove across the room, but Sandy was small, quick, and as slippery as an eel. She darted towards the door with laughter and began reading the note, “Good Morning, love, went to the market. Be back in a few. Love and Kisses, Misha.” She glanced up as he tried to snatch the note from her hand raising one eyebrow. “And then it says—if you can’t find your keys don’t worry. I borrowed your car.”  
Jared’s face went white as a sheet.

 

***

 

Misha stood watching the young man copying the key to the garage and smiled. Jared didn’t have to know he had a key, but it was about time that their relationship progressed. He knew Jared was scared, maybe even confused, but ultimately he would come around, and understand just how deep their love ran.

“Sir.”

He glanced up at the young man his smile widening. “Yes?”

“Well, here are your copies and here’s the original. That’ll be $4.75.”

Misha pulled his wallet out. Yes, Jared would understand. After all, he might be the top behind closed doors, but Misha—Misha was in charge.


	10. Chapter 10

.

An hour later, Misha stepped out of Jared’s car, a whistle on his lips, and a sparkle in his eyes that burned bright as the fires of hell. He moved into the garage, grocery bags in hand, and paused to glance around for any sign of someone who might ask questions. Nothing and no one around, he thought with a sigh of relief. Sitting the bags aside he reached in the pocket of his jeans and removed one of the keys he’d had made. He slipped the key into the lock and turned it with care. The click of the tumblers made him smile. He turned from the door and searched the garage for a moment then slipped the key on top of the storage cabinets.

He retrieved the grocery bags cleared his throat and pushed open the door, stepping into the garden, a bright smile on his face. As he closed the door, he called out. “Jared, I stopped by my…” he stopped mid-sentence as Jared stepped through the patio doors, tugging on a suit jacket.

“Hi,” Jared glanced up with a smile.

Misha looked him up and down with a curious expression. “Well, you clean up really nice. That’s good though. I was going to cook up some brunch, but this calls for something a bit more festive. How’s the Marquis sound—my treat?”

“No, no I have…”

“After all I put you through it’s the least…”

Jared shook his head. “I have a lunch date—business.”

“Business?” Misha’s eyebrows rose.

“Yeah,” Jared smoothed out his tie. “Can I have my car keys?”

Misha reached into his jacket pocket, “Sure.”

“Besides, I think you should take it easy. Get some rest.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I feel a little,” he handed Jared his keys, their fingers grazing before Jared moved around him and out the door. “Tired,” he whispered to the empty garden, suspicion gleaming in his eyes.

***

Soft laughter mixed with the musical sound of crystal and silver as beyond the open arches the river flowed by and tourists walked beneath the shade of trees a street level below downtown. Jared was smiling wide, a hint of pink in his cheeks as he thought of Chad’s suggestion he use his manly charms on the woman in front of him.

Samantha Ferris was an attractive woman in her forties with sun-kissed wheat colored hair and eyes that missed nothing. Presently she was dressed in casual business attire; hair pulled back in a high ponytail and was laughing, her eyes twinkling in a way that made Jared believe if he offered she’d accept without hesitation.

“That’s very funny, Jared.”

Her voice reminded Jared of nights in Jim’s bar—smoky with the sharp burn of good whiskey.

Cocking her head to the side, she watched him with those intent eyes as he lifted his beer glass and savored the bitter flavor of the hops. “Now let’s talk business. What do you think of the concept? The unstructured, fly by the seat of your pants, experimental feel.”

He sat his glass down and leaned in across the table to meet her intense gaze. “I like it. It’s perfect just what I’ve been looking for and I’m positive I can handle it.”

Flashing him a bright smile, Sam leaned back in her chair, fingers grazing the CD case between them. “I’m sure you can. I’ll keep this to promote your new career.” She tapped one manicured nail on the case. “You’ll be working with some high school and college kids. You’re not so old you don’t remember what that’s like—right? Their bright kids though and with your help I think they’ll have a bright future.”

Jared offered Samantha another smile as he lifted his glass. Things were going wonderful.

“If this show goes the way that I think it’s going to go there’s no reason…”

“Well, isn’t this just cozy?”

Jared nearly choked on his beer when he heard Misha’s voice. Furious eyes met his as he glanced up at Misha who had his arms folded over his chest.

“So, this is your business lunch?” Misha ground out through clenched teeth. “How’s business?”

Samantha raised an inquisitive brow as she sipped her wine, “Friend of yours?”

Head nearly snapping off his neck, Misha glared at her, “Just another trick, bitch! Looks like you’ve decided to play the other side of the field, Jared, or am I mistaken.”

“That’s enough!” Jared hissed.

Misha’s eyes narrowed. “Is that your idea of sexy? My God, isn’t she a little old for you? What is this--fuck a senior citizen week?”

Everything was falling apart and Jared was finally at the end of his rope. “Get the hell out of here!” he growled deep in his throat as he watched Samantha’s eyes darken with anger.

Misha leaned in, eyes burning like white-hot coals in his face. “It’s not that I mind you being a bastard, but why such a tasteless bastard?”

He could feel the eyes of patrons in the restaurant as they turned to watch the drama unfold, Misha’s voice getting louder. Jared shot from his seat and he grabbed Misha’s arm in a vice grip, dragging him towards the arches that led out onto the River Walk.

“Stop it you son of a bitch!” Misha screamed as he tried to pull from Jared’s grip. “That hag couldn’t get laid in a Siberian prison!”

Jared was at his wits end and he really didn’t give a damn how Misha left he just wanted the clingy fuck to go. As he dragged Misha down the sidewalk, eyes following them, Misha twisted and fought his grasp wailing as if he were a banshee announcing the apocalypse.

“Stop it you fucking bastard! Let me go! Stop it, Jared!”

He dragged him up the stairs to street level. For a moment, Jared contemplated tossing him in the middle of mid-day traffic, but the only thing that stopped him was the idea of going to prison. Misha wasn’t fucking worth wasting the rest of his life in a cell.

“No, no, no, don’t…no don’t, Jared!” Misha wailed as Jared dragged him down the sidewalk straight towards one of the cabs that lined Alamo.

He kept his grip tight on one of Misha’s wrists, so tight he was sure there would be bruises left behind, but at this point, he didn’t give a damn. With his other hand, he yanked the door of the cab open nearly wrenching it off its hinges. Once the door was open, he shoved Misha towards it with all the fury he could muster and Misha fought him like a wildcat—howling and shrieking. Jared was surprised the cops hadn’t arrived yet considering it sounded as if he were committing cold-blooded murder in broad daylight.

“Don’t leave me!” Misha wailed, eyes wild with terror, and fingers digging into Jared’s arm as he struggled to get him into the back seat. “Please don’t—I swear I’m not angry! She’s nothing!”

Finally, his grip gave way and Jared shoved him backwards into the cab and slammed the door. “Get him out of here.” Jared instructed the driver.

“Jared, don’t!” Misha reached out the window arms outstretched and eyes shining with desperation that had Jared’s stomach flipping. “I love you! That’s why I did it! Don’t you understand that?”

“Where to?” the cabbie eyed Misha nervously.

“Anywhere but here,” he snarled tossing the cabbie a fifty from his wallet. “I seriously don’t give a fuck. Just do it now.”

The cabbie pulled away from the curb with a squeal of tires, Misha’s devastated cries fading in the distance. For a moment, Jared just stood there watching the cab vanish in the distance then he smoothed out his jacket and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. He feared what Samantha had thought of that display of insanity. He needed that job, he thought as he headed back to the restaurant.

When he got back the table he’d shared with Samantha was empty. She’d left, not that he blamed her after the scene Misha had caused. What pissed him off was that she’d sent him a clear message without saying a word.

The CD case sat where he’d placed it along with the bill for lunch.

***

Jensen was swimming laps around the pool when Jared stepped through the door still wearing the suit he’d had on earlier. He had some serious explaining to do to the one person who had no reason to forgive him for being an idiot. Squatting down at the edge of the pool he watched as Jensen’s body glided beneath the water gracefully and he hoped that Jensen wasn’t too pissed.

Head popping above the water, Jensen smoothed back his wet hair, and pushed back his goggles giving him a glare worthy of the stupid moves Jared had made. “This is a private pool.”

Jared sighed. “I want to talk to you.” He stood as Jensen swam towards the ladder. “I need to talk to you.”

Making his way up the ladder, Jensen snorted. “Well, I don’t want to talk to you.”

Part of Jared wanted to grab Jensen, lick every drop of water off his body, and blow him right there. How inappropriate is that?, Jared thought. Jensen was furious with him and he had every fucking right to be. He’d made yet another promise to him and he’d reneged again. He quietly watched as Jensen grabbed his towel and began drying off. All he could think was how fucking beautiful Jensen was and how if he’d only stop fucking up he could have him forever. His gaze traced the broad shoulders down to his narrow waist and hips, and he shuddered with the desire that he felt boiling in his gut.

“Are you drunk?” Jensen raised an eyebrow as he finished scrubbing his hair dry and dropped the towel around his shoulders.

He shook himself out of the reverie. “No, but that isn’t a bad idea.”

“Why, Jared?”

“Why drunk?”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “No. Why last night?”

“That’s what I came to explain.” He sighed.

“Okay,” Jensen drawled out, a suspicious gleam in his eyes. “That’s good, but I think we need to both be on the same page, Jared. I’m not real fucking happy with you at the moment.”

Jared exhaled and glanced down at the wet tile beneath his feet. “That’s fair enough, Jen.”

“Jay, whatever it was you could have called me.”

He shook his head, eyes never leaving Jensen’s disappointed face. “No, I couldn’t.”

“Why the hell not?” Jensen snapped.

Turning away Jared began pacing as he searched for the right words if there even were any to explain. “Because,” he sighed, “I couldn’t tell you the truth last night, but I refuse to lie to you ever again.”

Jensen turned away, fiddling with the hem of his towel where it dangled against his bare chest. “Now why the hell did you have to go and say that, man?”

***

They spoke very little as Jensen led him upstairs to his apartment and got dressed. Hair still damp he’d followed Jared down to the parking garage and they’d taken off back to the Mission Park. It was the one place that was neutral—no beds, no memories, just a silence that soothed them both. They always came here when they fought. Who knew why, but it always helped, and who were they to argue.

They were walking along one of the wooded paths when Jared confessed his sin and the resulting horror. “I just didn’t want to take a chance he’d do it again.” He explained.  
Jensen reached out and clasped his hand. “What if he does?”

He glanced down at their fingers entangled and released a ragged breath. “Well, I swear if he ever does I’d just let him.”

Behind them hidden in the shadows of the trees, Misha reached out, fingers curling around a tree branch. His fingers tightened and crushed the wood as he twisted his bandaged wrist. How dare he say such things? How dare he abandon their love for that fucking green-eyed slut?

He dropped his hand, shattered wood dropping to the ground.

***

Sandy was horrified when she arrived back from the grocery store later that afternoon. Jared’s car hadn’t been in the drive and she figured his lunch meeting was going well. He was a good guy despite the fact he seemed to have issues with keeping his dick in his pants and his head out of bottle when things were going bad. Either that or he’d decided to spend some quality time with either Jensen or whoever was the flavor of the month. Opening the door, she’d stood there staring at the disaster that was Jared’s apartment furniture over turned, broken lamps, and shredded paper.

“Oh my God,” she whispered setting the grocery bags aside.

Stepping around the mess cautious of the glass that lay scattered across the carpet hidden beneath a layer of stuffing from his leather chairs, torn to shreds by what appeared to be a knife or something else extremely sharp. She knew she should turn back around and head for the car, retrieve her cell phone, and call the police. God only knew what kind of shit Jared had got himself into this time. This wasn’t the first time she’d seen something like this, but it had never been this bad before. Guy’s like Jared—popular and playing the field—sometimes pissed off people.

Once she’d showed up to catch one of his conquests swinging a Louisville Slugger through the windshield of his beloved 1966 Mustang Cabrio. It was moments like that when Sandy wished he would get his head out of his ass and just make his relationship permanent with Jensen. Now that guy was good for him in so many ways, but Jared was blind to the difference between what was good and bad for him. With a frustrated sigh, she glanced around the room in hopes of discovering Jared’s phone so she could save herself a trip back to the garage, but it looked hopeless.

Shaking her head, she began the cautious walk back through what was left of his living room to the front door. She was half-way to the door when she heard it—a faint moaning. A chill crept up her back as she turned away from the door back towards the bedroom and the taste of her breakfast surge into the back of her throat. Jesus, she thought. Had Jared finally met his match with his latest dalliance? She recalled the look on his face this morning when she’d found the note. There had been something in his eyes for a split-second that she’d never seen before and if she hadn’t known Jared better, she would have thought that it was fear. Of course, it had vanished before she could remark on it. Maybe she had been right. Maybe it had been fear.

She headed back towards the bedroom, her belly knotted with fear. Any common sense she had was screaming to turn and get the hell out of dodge, call the fucking police, and hope for the best. Jared was her friend though and if he’d been hurt, she couldn’t leave him there.

Stepping through the door her eyes widened at the chaos in this room. It was far worse than the living room if possible. Pulled from the closet and dresser every piece of Jared’s clothing was scattered about the room, shredded, and the bedding as well. Who ever had done this was crazy as fuck all, she thought as she picked up the silver framed photo of Jensen; glass shattered as if it had been pierced with a bullet. Another moan reached her ears as she sat the photo aside.

Every hair stood up on the back of her neck as a voice warned her to turn and go, but she had to know if Jared was injured. Carefully she moved around the end of the dresser towards the closet where the sounds were growing in intensity.

Run.

She ignored the voice inside her head as the noise began to rise in volume. It was a man of that she had no doubt—a man crying out in pain. Reaching out with a trembling hand her fingertips grazed the smooth wood of the hand-painted screen that stood between her and the sounds. The screen fell under her light touch and she gasped at what she saw.

A man with dark hair knelt in the closet a jagged hunting knife gripped tightly in hand, the blade shredding anything within reach. With each plunge of the blade he growled, the sound trapped somewhere between anger and pain. At the sound of the screen crashing to the floor, his head whipped around and Sandy swallowed hard at the emptiness in his eyes. There was nothing even close to human in those eyes the color of the most brilliant sapphire.

Seconds before he lunged forward, Sandy turned and she ran, flinging herself across the bed. As she rolled, trying to remember everything from her self-defense classes, she felt the burn of his blade slide along her arm. She screamed, pulling back her legs and pushed out, the heels of her feet connecting with the man’s abdomen. A huff of air escaped him, but she didn’t have enough strength to push him back off her.

“Get off of me you bastard!” She shrieked, hand grabbing for the bedside lamp. As her fingers curled around its base, she swung as hard as she could.

He swatted it away as if it were nothing but a fly and raised the knife. Sunlight from the open door flashed off the blade and Sandy screamed as loud as she could, hands shooting up to grab the man’s wrist, her nails digging into the cotton bandages that covered them, drawing blood that blossomed across the pristine white. He growled low in his throat, a wild fury shining in his vacant eyes. Sandy’s muscles flexed in her arms as he pushed forward the blade coming closer until it sank into the flesh of her shoulder and then ripped free. She screamed as her flesh was torn and blood sprayed across the sheets and the wall.

She’d survived too much in her life to go out like this, she thought. Twisting beneath her assailant, she bucked her hips and as he drew back again, she kneed his balls. The reaction wasn’t what she expected. Instead of going down, he became more infuriated and she spun away from him clawing across the sheets as he lifted the knife again and brought it down with a howl.

“God, help me!” she screamed as the blade bit into her back.

She began kicking as her voice gave out and more blood spattered the walls, the knife repeatedly swinging, and his screams drowning all else


	11. Chapter 11

After dropping Jensen off at his condominium and shitload of groveling, Jared headed back to his place with a glint of hope in his eyes. He counted his blessings when it came to Jensen and his huge heart. Any other man would have thrown his hands up and told him to fuck-off, but not Jen. He owed Jensen so much after what he’d put him through over the past year.

Turning the corner, he nearly choked at what he saw ahead. Police cars and emergency vehicles blocked the street in front of his apartment, lights flashing in a psychedelic smear of red and blue. A crowd of his neighbors had gathered to get a glimpse of what was going on and a knot formed in his gut.

Jared brought his car to a stop, cock-eyed in a parking spot, and jumped over the door to head up the street at a dead run. As he approached closer, he saw Sandy’s car and his heart surged in his throat before he sped up, long legs eating up the asphalt. Pushing his way through the crowd, he ducked beneath the yellow crime scene tape.

“Sir, you can’t go in there!”

He ignored the young officer, shrugging him off. “I live here!” he yelled over his shoulder. Please, God, he thought, let Sandy be okay.

Ducking into the garage he pushed open the unlocked garage door and swallowed hard at the sight that greeted him. Two paramedics were kneeling over a gurney, barking instructions at one another as they worked on someone. He pushed past the roses to get a better look only to find himself face to face with a uniformed officer.

“Sir, are you the tenant here?”

He nodded his body going cold.

“Is this the young lady who cleans your apartment?”

He stepped around the officer as the paramedics lifted the gurney up. Throat tightening he took in Sandy, who appeared smaller than usual, curled on her side. Her clothes were torn and bloody bandages covered her back and shoulder. They’d inserted an IV in the back of her hand and an oxygen mask covered half of her face. Her gaze shifted to focus on his face and the corner of her mouth tipped in a lop-sided smile.

“Is okay, Jay, it’ll cost you twice as much to clean this up.” She slurred, the drugs kicking in.

“Get her out of here guys.” Someone barked from the doorway.

Jared turned to meet the dark eyes of a plainclothes detective, holding out his badge. Despite the fact that he was shorter than Jared was, his posture gave him the illusion of being far larger.

“Jared Padalecki?” he raised one dark eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

“Sergeant Morgan, San Antonio PD.”

They both watched silently as the paramedics moved the gurney out of the garden. Jared knew he was in shock and he knew that he didn’t want to be here. Despite the fact that Sandy worked for him he still considered her a good friend and he should be following that ambulance to the hospital. Hell, he should be calling Sophia and letting her know what had happened.

“Any ideas?”

He turned to face Morgan and frowned, “About what?”

Morgan tipped his head towards the open doors, “Your boyfriend there.”

Eyes going wide, Jared focused on the open door. Just inside Misha was sitting on the end of his bed, hands cuffed in front of him stained with Sandy’s blood and eyes vacant. Another detective was leaning in hand on the gun at his hip as he spoke to Misha, but even from where he stood Jared could tell the lights were on, but no one was home.

“That’s not my boyfriend,” Jared spit out between clenched teeth. “I want to get that clear right now.”

The sound of the ambulance’s siren drew his attention away for a split second before he turned back to the disaster that was his apartment. He stepped through the door shoulders slumping forward. He’d known Misha was a bit on the crazy side, but not this crazy. The guilt began weighing heavy on his heart as he kicked aside a pile of shattered CD cases.

Morgan stepped around him taking in the disaster of broken glass and strewn stuffing. “So, he’s just a casual acquaintance?”

“You could say that,” Jared ran his fingers through his hair.

Turning Morgan narrowed his eyes. “He just happened to drop by to hack up your wardrobe and your cleaning lady? Is that what you’re trying to tell me, Mr. Padalecki?”  
Jared glanced from the corner of his eye, lips pursed as he bent down to retrieve his broken laptop. “I’m not trying to tell you anything, Sergeant.”

“Well, maybe you should kid. That poor girl was nearly killed and I’m stumbling around in this mess trying to find out exactly why.”

Tossing the broken computer aside, Jared shook his head. “What do you want me to say?”

“This,” he glanced at a driver’s license in his hand, “Misha Collins—where did he come from?”

“I don’t know,” Jared, sighed.

Morgan cleared his throat. “What about his family?”

“I don’t know that either. He just listens to my radio show and we met one night. That’s all.”

He seemed to consider Jared’s words with a grain of salt and then cleared his throat again. “So, you two are practically strangers?”

“Yeah, we are.”

“Then how in the hell does he have a key to your apartment?”

Jared’s head jerked up and his eyes went wide in surprise. “I sure and the hell don’t know that. I didn’t give him one.”

Thumbs hooked in his belt, Morgan stepped closer to Jared, eyes going narrow with suspicion. “Well, let me get this straight, boy. Everything you know boils down to a hell of a lot of nothing—am I right?”

“What it boils down to is I’m tired of all your damn questions!” Jared snapped.

Morgan rolled his eyes, “Boo-hoo, sorry to hurt your feelings, sweetheart. Guys back at the station get a might bit annoyed when I don’t ask those pesky questions.”

He turned away as the other detective led Misha out of the house, firm grip on his arm. This cop looked less like a cop and more of a rabble-rouser, “Jeff, how you want to play this? Fucking media is already blitzing the guys out front.”

Morgan sniffed as he slid his sunglasses back down to rest on his nose. “Take him straight out through,” he glanced back at Jared with a smirk, “can’t be disappointing the vultures—can we, Kane?”

A deep chuckle reverberated through Kane’s chest as he tightened his grip on Misha’s arm. “Naw can’t be having them starve.” He pushed Misha forward and vanished into the crowd.

“Where’s he taking him?” Jared asked.

“Central booking—attempted murder.”

Jared sighed and shook his head. “What he really needs is psychiatric care.”

Morgan turned lowering his aviators down to study Jared above the rim. “You don’t say?” he paused and then cleared his throat, all joking aside. “What about those cuts on his wrists?”

“I don’t know anything about them,” Jared lied through his teeth, staring out across the garden.

Shaking his head, Morgan headed out the door then paused to glance over his shoulder. “Oh, just one more thing, kid.”

Jared snorted, “Yeah, I know—don’t leave town.”

“Actually I was going to ask why you don’t play some Mantovani once and awhile.”

Eyebrows disappearing beneath his bangs, Jared thrust his hands into his pant pockets. “I didn’t know you were a fan of my show, detective.”

Morgan shrugged with a smirk, “I’m not…I just love Mantovani.” He turned and walked away without another word.

As he vanished out the door, Jared stood there staring out at the peaceful garden unsure what to do next. How could he explain this to Sophia? They were close friends. And then there was Jensen. What was he going to say to Jensen? He slumped against the doorframe eyes burning with unshed tears.

God, it could have been Jensen, he thought.

***

Jensen was sitting at his easel, wearing just jeans, chest and feet bare, late afternoon sunlight illuminating the room, and a faint breeze stirring his hair. A tiny frown marred his brow as he mixed paint, lower lip trapped between his teeth as he concentrated. He’d been fighting with the colors for Jared’s skin for weeks. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to capture the way light seemed to glow as it hit his skin; a mix of copper and honey tones that reminded him of the desert.

With a frustrated sigh, he lifted one arm swiping away the beads of perspiration gathered on his forehead. Richard believed he had it in him to be an incredible artist, but until he could do this—capture the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen—he wouldn’t allow himself to believe it for a moment. A frustrated groan escaped him as he sat aside the palette and dropped the brush in the cleaning jar of linseed oil. Legs wrapped around the stool he leaned back and cracked his neck just as the doorbell rang. The sudden sharp noise nearly sent him tumbling off the stool and he cursed beneath his breath. If Steve had forgotten his key again he was going to staple it to his forehead or maybe his balls.  
He moved through the apartment the incessant ringing of the doorbell getting on his last nerve. “Damn it, Steve, I’m fucking coming!” he screamed as he reached the front door and yanked it open.

To his complete surprise, Jared was standing outside the door, eyes red and swollen, and his hair all wild as if he’d just stepped out of a wind tunnel. Before he could open his mouth, Jared grabbed him and slammed him against the wall, mouth on his in a desperate kiss that ripped the air from his lungs. As the shock wore off, he melted beneath the onslaught of Jared’s mouth—soft, wet, and salty with…

He pulled back, eyes wide and his stomach lurching. “Jared,” he whispered as he cupped his face in his shaking hands, “what’s wrong?”

Jared shook his head, pulling him closer legs folding beneath him and Jensen fell to the floor with him. Wrapping his arms around Jared, he held him tight. As long they’d known each other, Jensen had never seen him like this and it frightened him. Face pressed into Jensen’s shoulder Jared began to sob, his chest heaving, and his arms tightening until Jensen found it difficult to breath.

“Jay, babe, what is it?” his heart thundered in his chest, fingers threading through Jared’s hair.

Shoulders heaving, Jared buried his face deeper into the curve of Jensen’s shoulder, his scent calming him, and reaffirming that he was here and unharmed. “I can’t do this anymore…I just can’t.” he lifted his head, face streaked with tears. “He attacked, Sandy.”

Jensen’s eyebrows shot up beneath his bangs. “Misha? Jesus, is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’ll be okay,” Jared inhaled swiping at his wet face. “He cut her up pretty bad though. She caught him in my apartment tearing…” his voice quavered eyes drifting shut. “He messed up my apartment bad.”

Pushing up off the floor Jensen headed for the bedroom, shoulders tensed up. Jared stood and went after him, voice panicked. “What are you doing?” By the time he reached the bedroom, Jensen was tugging on a t-shirt and searching for his boots. “Jen, what are you doing?”

Jensen spun around, boots in hand, and a look in his eyes that scared the hell out of Jared. “I’m going to find that son of bitch and tear him a new asshole!” he dropped to the bed and started tugging his socks on.

“The cops already have him in custody.”

Stopping in mid-pull, Jensen looked up at Jared with a frown. “How did they…?”

“One of my neighbors heard Sandy screaming for help and he called the cops. When they got there he was just sitting on the end of my bed.” He sucked in a deep breath. “He was covered in blood and Sandy was on the bed cut…”

Jensen yanked his last sock on and moved to envelope Jared in his arms. “It’s going to be okay. The cops have the crazy fucker now.”

Deep down Jared prayed Jensen was right.

***

For once, Jensen was the one in full control of the situation and the gratitude that Jared felt was overwhelming. After everything he’d put Jensen through he was amazed that he cared at all. He'd called Richard and asked if they could borrow his house down in Corpus Christi for the weekend. With a huff and an eye-roll, that Jared swore he could hear over the phone, Richard reluctantly agreed.

Within the hour, they were packed and on the road to Corpus Christi. Jensen had insisted on stopping at the police station and informing Sergeant Morgan of where they were going, why they were going, and left contact numbers if needed. Morgan wasn’t happy, but he had no reason to keep Jared from leaving San Antonio. Their second stop had been at the hospital where Sophia and Chad were taking turns setting with Sandy. Chad had assured Jared that he didn’t have to worry about the station. He and Sophia both would take care of his slots over the weekend.

Now they were pulling into the drive of Richard’s house and Jared couldn’t help but smile when he realized the house was beachfront property. Leave it up to Richard to own a fabulous beach house and keep it a secret. Jensen brought his truck to a stop, the headlights dimming as he shut off the engine. He turned and studied Jared’s profile with a gentle expression in his eyes. Jared looked so guilt riddled and sad it made his heart ache.

He scooted across the seat and settled his head on Jared’s slumped shoulder. “Jay, it’s not your fault. You do know that—right?”

A noise somewhere between a snort and laugh slipped past Jared’s lips. “Yes, actually it is. If I had kept my dick in my pants, Misha wouldn’t be in our lives. Sandy could have died and she didn’t even have anything to do with my indiscretions. She was just doing her…her…” he stuttered as his throat closed up. He thought he’d cried all he was going to, but the tears were rising in his throat, choking off his thoughts as if a garrote was tightening around it.

Jensen didn’t speak a word just sat up and captured Jared’s face in his hands, cupping his jaw as if it were porcelain fragile. Gently he urged him to turn his head and as he did, Jensen’s lips brushed over his, soft and light as the brush of a moth’s wings. A strangled sound escaped his throat as his lips parted and he let Jensen in, the caress of his tongue velvety against his own. Reaching up he grasped at Jensen fingers tangling in his hair, pulled him closer, and deepened the kiss.

The kiss ended as Jensen pulled back with a gasp, his eyes filled with desire. “Jared, I love you. You know that—right?” he asked with a quick lick of his lips.  
Jared nodded, eyes shadowed by his bangs. “I know,” he whispered.

With a faint sigh, Jensen ran his hand up Jared’s jaw and through the thick locks of his dark hair. “Do you?” Before Jared could reply, he dropped his hand and was out of the truck. “Come on. We need to get inside looks like a storm is blowing in.”

***

As much as Jared hated to admit it, Richard knew how to live the good life. The rear of the house that faced the beach was one huge deck that ran the length of the ranch-style house. Glass floor to ceiling windows and sliding doors offered a view of the Gulf’s turbulent waves as they crashed against the shoreline. It was obvious from the architecture the house was a late 60’s or early 70’s design, but it was in excellent condition. The kitchen updated in chrome and marble. He was standing on the deck right now outside the kitchen watching the waves slid over the sand edged with foam, highlighted by the nearly full moon. Releasing a soft breath, he leaned against the deck railing and lifted his gaze to the sky to study the stars. It was beautiful and incredibly peaceful here.

Jensen stepped through the door onto the deck and held out a longneck between two fingers. He smiled and accepted the offer silently, the chill of the bottle soothing somehow or maybe it was Jensen’s presence. Whatever it was Jared welcomed it with open arms after the past few weeks peace was one of the few things he really wanted.

“You’re thinking too hard, Jay.”

Taking a pull off the bottle, he stared up at the stars, and a faint sigh passed his lips. “How do you do that, Jen?”

Jensen chuckled and shook his head. “You always think too hard.” He turned leaning one hip against the railing and took a sip of his beer studying Jared over the bottle rim. “This is not your fault.”

“What?” He peered through his bangs at the worried expression in Jensen’s eyes.

“Sandy,” he sighed. “What Misha did—he’s a sick man. If not you, it would have been some other poor bastard he fixated on, Jay. Don’t let that misplaced sense of guilt eat at you. Sandy doesn’t blame you so you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

Jared finished his beer gaze averted to the floor, “Think I’ll turn in…been a long fucking day.” He sat the bottle aside on the railing and headed for the door.

“Jay?”

Pausing at the door Jared took a deep breath, “Yeah?”

Jensen watched his shoulders tense and he took a deep breath, “Nothing.”

Immediately the tension eased. “Good night, Jen.”

“Yeah, good night,” Jensen replied before he realized Jared had already vanished into the house. They had a great deal of work to do, he thought as he turned back to tumultuous waves pounding the beach, sadness gleaming in his eyes. “Sweet dreams, Jay.” He whispered.


	12. Chapter 12

Lying on his back, Jared stared up at the ceiling and the writhing shadows that moved across it in a wild dance. Outside a storm had moved in over the Gulf an occasional flash of lightning blinding him and then throwing him back in shadow. He couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard he tried, and he’d been trying for hours.  
Three hours ago he’d heard Jensen come in from outside and he’d quietly waited, back to the door, knowing Jensen well enough that he’d eventually find him in the smaller guest room instead of the one that he’d put their bags in. Just as he expected, Jensen opened the door, and stood there watching him as he pretended to sleep. He knew that Jensen wasn’t falling for it, but he didn’t push it though.  
The last thing that he deserved was to be comforted. What he’d done was inexcusable. All these months refusing to admit that he was in love with the most incredible man he’d ever known and running the gambit of men left and right. Now he’d nearly caused a dear friend her life at the hands of a crazed stalker that he’d willingly invited into his bed because of his own fears.  
Tossing back the sheets, he swung his legs over the edge of the mattress, the hardwood of the floor cool beneath his bare feet. He sat there for what seemed an eternity, face hidden in his hands, and elbows braced on his knees. A sudden flash of lightning followed by a boom of thunder caused him to jerk up, eyes wide. He felt so alone. He needed Jensen.  
Pushing up off the bed, he moved across the room, out the door, and into the hallway. Quiet as a mouse he slipped down the hall and to the bedroom door where he knew Jensen was sleeping. The door stood open in a silent invitation just as he imagined it would. He stood inside the doorway for the span of a few heartbeats studying the sleeping form in the bed.  
The sheets tangled around his long legs, the muscles etched in shadow and light. As his gaze drifted up the length of his lover’s body, he took in the curve of thigh, the swell of his ass, and that soft dip just above that moved into the perfect curve of his spine. His face hidden in the shadows of his hair and the pillow he clutched.  
“Are you going to stand there all night or you going to come join me?”  
He twitched at the whiskey growl of Jensen’s voice as he pushed up off the bed, shadows melting away from his face, and patted the mattress next to him with one hand. Without a sound, he moved across the bed and slid beneath the sheets, cool and silky against his hot skin. Jensen reached out and pulled him close, mouth ghosting across his in a whisper of a kiss.  
“Jensen…”  
“Don’t,” one finger pressed against Jared’s lips. “Just let me give you what you need.”  
Jared nodded as Jensen shifted up and over him, pressing his hips down into Jared’s, their cocks brushing through the worn cotton of Jared’s boxers. He moaned, eyes rolling back in his head, and neck stretching out slender and graceful as a swan. The gentle flutter of Jensen’s fingers at the waistband of his boxers only caused him to grow harder. He clenched his teeth, his breathing becoming rapid, and keeping time with the pounding of his heart. The tips of Jensen’s fingers caught in the elastic and tugged down the material, his erection escaping from its cotton confines to slap against his belly.  
Glancing up through his lashes, Jensen licked his lips before he lowered down, tongue darting out to flick along the glistening tip of Jared’s cock. He sucked in another breath through his teeth, but this time his eyes stayed focused on Jensen’s face as he lowered further, one hand curling around the base of his erection, and parted his lips to suck in the head. A deep moan rumbled through Jared’s chest and Jensen swallowed hard.  
“Jesus, please…” Jared whimpered.  
Jensen’s free hand slid down, fingers tickling along the soft skin of his balls. He bit his lip and spread his legs wider and as he did, Jensen cupped his sac, squeezing gently. Eyes drifting shut Jared lost himself in the wet heat that surrounded his cock and the calloused palm that cupped his balls. Jensen took his time suckling Jared deeper inch by inch until his nose brushed his pubes. He could feel the warm exhalation of Jensen’s breath against his skin and he began to tremble.  
After a moment of stillness Jensen drew up, tongue curling around his length, tasting his skin and savoring the salty musk of his arousal. He’d never had a man take their time like this with oral sex. Perhaps it was because Jensen was an artist, a man filled with passion to the brim, and he wanted to take in every detail. Jared moaned fingers curled into the sheet beneath him and as if on cue Jensen lowered again, his throat opening as he took every inch of Jared into him. At the same time, he rolled Jared’s balls in his palm and tugged down gently.  
Jared cried out teeth digging into the tender swell of his lower lip. Too much time had passed since this kind of touch. He was lost in the warmth and slickness of a loving mouth, and he wasn’t going to last long. “Jen, oh, God,” he cursed beneath his breath as he was hit by the swell of desire in his belly. He wanted this to last so badly.  
Lifting his head, Jensen released his cock, and licked his lips with a smirk that reminded him of the proverbial cat who ate the canary. The smirk widened to a smile as Jensen cocked one eyebrow in amusement. “Look, under the pillow.” He purred.  
“You’re killing me, Jen.” Jared moaned flinging one arm over his eyes. “I’m hard enough to cut glass and you want to…”  
Jensen rolled his eyes, “Just look under the damn pillow. Trust me.”  
With a put upon sigh, Jared reached under the pillow. His eyes went wide as his hand slid from beneath and he held up a black 5-inch vibrator and a tube of slick, “Really?”  
Snatching the vibrator, Jensen snorted. “For a player you can be uptight.”  
Jared pushed up on his elbows, face flushed crimson, and legs sprawled around Jensen. “I’m not uptight.”  
A boisterous laugh exploded from Jensen as he pushed Jared back against the pillows. “Just relax and enjoy, babe.”  
The next thing Jared knew his legs were over Jensen’s shoulders and the tip of the now slicked vibrator was nudging at his hole. He whimpered as Jensen slowly worked the vibrator into his body with one hand as with the other he stroked and squeezed his cock. After an eternity it seemed, the vibrator now seated deep inside him began to vibrate. Jared’s eyes went wide at the sensations inside his ass and he squirmed. His breathing grew more rapid as Jensen drew the vibrator out and then thrust it back in, the vibrations moving through his prostate.  
“Jen,” he moaned pushing back into the vibrations.  
“That’s right, babe. Feels good--doesn’t it? You like it when I fuck that tight ass with my vibrator?” Jensen purred deep in his throat, his hand speeding up as he pumped Jared’s cock, spreading the copious pre-cum along his length. “Jay, listen to me it’ll feel even better if you do what I tell you.”  
“Yes,” Jared sighed.  
“Good,” Jensen smiled. “Now listen careful…I want you to play with your nipples. Don’t think just do it. Close your eyes and imagine it’s a stranger.”  
Jared released a ragged breath, eyes fluttering shut as he lifted one hand and brushed his fingertips along one nipple. He let his imagination fly free. To his surprise, it was the cop from that afternoon. In his mind, Detective Morgan was straddling his waist, pinning him to the bed as Jensen thrust into his ass roughly. Those dark eyes pierced him as the man’s rough hands pinched and twisted his nipples. He let himself fall into the fantasy and as he did the intensity of the sensations increased until he could no longer fight the inevitable. Back arching up from the mattress, he screamed out his orgasm.  
Everything went black as he collapsed to the bed.

 

***

 

“Hey, babe, come on open those beautiful eyes.”  
Jared groaned eyes fluttering as he slowly came back to consciousness. As his vision cleared, Jensen’s face appeared, eyes wide, and concerned. “You okay?” he lifted one hand brushing Jared’s sweaty bangs from his face with a gentle touch.  
“Wow,” Jared sighed, “that was…”  
“What?” eyes going even wider Jensen leaned in lips brushing his cheek.  
A wicked smile tipped the corners of his mouth, dimples flashing. “The most intense orgasm I’ve ever had.” He huffed out.  
Jensen snorted and slapped his shoulder. “Asshole!” there was no anger in his admonishment, his eyes twinkling. “I thought I might have killed you.” He sighed rolling over and resting his head on Jared’s damp chest.  
“You almost did.” Jared chuckled softly as he curled one arm around Jensen.  
He could feel the laughter reverberating through Jensen’s body next to him. “You needed that really bad.”  
“Really?” he lifted his head from the pillow weakly as Jensen sat up. “Whatever gave you that idea?”  
“I don’t know,” Jensen mused, “maybe the mess you left behind.” He reached out running his finger through the cooling cum that covered Jared’s stomach. Lifting his fingers, he slipped them between his lips and sucked them clean with a pleased hum as he stood and headed for the connecting bathroom. “Now let’s get you cleaned up.”  
Jared frowned, “But what about you?”  
Throwing back his head, Jensen laughed deep and wild then pointed to his stomach where cum was drying. “Just watching you let go was enough.”  
A scarlet flush spread across Jared’s chest and up his throat to set his cheeks aglow. He fell back against the pillows and rolled his eyes. “That bad.” He grumped.  
“No,” Jensen chuckled, “you were that hot.” Then he vanished into the bathroom.

 

***

Jared woke to the sounds of waves crashing on the beach and gulls calling out. The sun insisted he open his eyes, but he was fighting it by tugging the pillows over his head. He snuggled deeper into the sheets until it dawned on him where he was. Setting up he scrubbed the sleep from his eyes, yawned, and stretched. The curtains had been drawn back and the door stood open, the salt-laden breeze off the Gulf stirring the sheer material. Slipping from beneath the sheets, Jared stood and stretched again searching the room for his boxers. He knew that he and Jensen were the only ones here, but he still didn’t feel right running around naked in Richard’s house.  
As he spotted them half-shoved under the nightstand, he heard someone singing, and a huge grin broke across his face. He headed out the door and down the hall towards the kitchen, eyes sparkling in amusement when he spotted Jensen standing in front of the stove. He was barefoot, wearing faded Levis that hugged his ass, and nothing else. He was moving in time to his own voice, hips swaying and foot tapping against the tile floor.  
“It’s raining men…hallelujah…It’s raining men…”  
Jared stood there, mesmerized by the sway of Jensen’s hips, the smooth length of his flawless back and the curved bow of his legs as he flipped a pancake into the air then caught it on the griddle. A wave of love moved over him and he swallowed back the thickness that rose in his throat. He hated that he’d hurt Jensen. He hated himself for being a damn fool.  
“How many men?” he spoke up.  
At the sound of Jared’s soft inquiry, Jensen jumped, and nearly flipped the griddle off the stove. He fumbled for it and let out a sigh of relief as he steadied it back into place. “Jesus, Jay, don’t go sneaking up on a guy when he’s flipping flapjacks. It’s dangerous.”  
“You didn’t answer my question.”  
Jensen’s brow crinkled up, eyes creasing at the corners. “What question?”  
“How many men it’s raining,” His smile widened as a wash of blood flowed up Jensen’s throat and to his face. This was one of the numerous reasons he loved Jensen. The way he blushed caused the freckles to stand out across the bridge of his nose. He moved closer, reaching out to tip Jensen’s chin up with his fingers and he caught a glimpse of green beneath sun-kissed gold lashes. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, “like a work of art come to life.”  
The color deepened in Jensen’s cheeks until it seemed almost unnatural as if his cheeks were smudged with rouge.   
“Don’t.” Jensen sighed.  
“Don’t what?” Head cocked to the side, Jared resembled a curious puppy. “Tell you why I feel blessed to get a second, hell a third chance to be with the one man in the world that means everything to me?”  
Jensen’s lips parted as if he were about to say something and then his nose crinkled. “Shit!” he turned to see the griddle smoking, fine coils of smoke rising into the air. “Damn it,” he grabbed the griddle handle and darted across the room to the sink, dumping it, pancakes and all into the dishwater. He huffed, blowing hair from his eyes and turned to Jared with a huff. “Well, so much for pancakes.”  
They stood staring at one another for a moment and then they both exploded into laughter. It had been forever since they’d both laughed like this, especially Jared. He hadn’t much to laugh about in the past few weeks. Straightening up he gasped for breath, tears streaking his face, and crossed to where Jensen was clinging to the edge of the sink, one hand pressed to his aching stomach. He cupped Jensen’s face in his hands and drew him near, lips claiming his in a gentle kiss that soon turned demanding. He’d forgotten why he’d fallen in love with Jensen until just now.  
There were so many things to love about the man it was insane; freckles that multiplied in the warm Texas sun, the width of his muscled shoulders, the faint gleam of red in the bristle that dusted his jaw, and his talent. My God, the man was talented beyond words. He was an artist who saw the beauty in everything around him, even the damn fool who couldn’t see the love shining in his ever-changing eyes. His voice was like an angel’s when he sang even if it were obnoxious 70’s disco hits.  
He pulled back breathless, face flushed with desire, and a happiness he hadn’t felt in ages. Eyes glittering he pulled Jensen closer, buried his face against the curve of his neck, and inhaled the scent of his skin. He pressed his lips against the skin just beneath Jensen’s ear and whispered. “Can you forgive me for being a goddamn fool?”  
Jensen pulled back and captured Jared’s gaze with eyes that could melt the coldest iceberg. “I love you, Jay.” He sighed. “I’ve always loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I never hated you even when most people would have, God, only knows why, but I need you just as much as you need me.”  
Tears welled over Jared’s lashes as he pulled Jensen into a breathtaking hug. “I was so scared I was going to lose you. I’ve been such an idiot.”  
“It’s okay, babe. I forgive you.”  
Jensen’s soft voice lulled Jared into a place he never believed he would ever reach. It only took almost losing a friend to Misha’s insanity to make him understand the truth. He’d never been alone. Jensen had been standing at his side always, waiting patiently. Now the fear was gone and they could move on, create the life that they should have had months ago.  
The future lay ahead, bright as sunlight, and the terror faded away as if mist along the beach.


	13. Chapter 13

It was the perfect day to rediscover what had drawn them together in the first place. Above them, the sun shone with a blinding brilliance in the clear azure sky, not a cloud in sight. Beneath their bare feet, the sand was a mix of warmth from that same sun and the cool wash of the foam crested waves that washed in from the Gulf in a hypnotic flow. Jensen was laughing as he told how Steve had met a cop named Chris at one of Chad and Sophia’s parties and claimed it was love at first sight.  
Jared loved the sound of Jensen’s laughter; deep and rich he didn’t just laugh with his voice, but with his entire body. He couldn’t look away as Jensen described the look Steve had in his eyes as that of a puppy discovering a new home.  
“So is he going to be moving on then?” Jared chuckled.  
“Yep, he’s been caught hook, line, and sinker. It’s just a matter of time before he moves out I suppose.” Jensen sighed. “At least he promised he’d hang out until I found another roommate.”  
Poking a toe in the damp sand, Jared stared out at the Gulf watching the spiraling dance of the gulls he smiled. “I understand why you came here now. It’s beautiful and so peaceful.”  
Jensen turned to glance up at his face eyes squinted against the sun and laughed. “If you think this is beautiful wait until you see the surprise I’ve saved for last.”  
“A surprise?” eyebrows shooting up to disappear beneath his bangs, Jared smiled, his dimples deepening.  
Lifting one hand, Jensen pointed up the beach to where it curved inward and disappeared from sight behind some jagged rocks. Just above the line of the rocks the tops of trees swayed in the wind, limbs twisted in a surreal vision of browns and vibrant blue-greens.  
“That is part of the reason Richard bought this property.” He shifted the pack on his shoulder and tightened his grip on Jared’s hand. “You’re never going to believe it.” Tugging Jared forward, he headed for the rocks with a chuckle.  
Jared stumbled and then got his feet beneath him as Jensen released his hand, tearing down the beach, laughing as he ran. He stood there for just a moment taking everything in and for that moment, he could almost believe that the past few weeks had been a nightmare he’d woke from this morning. He pushed all the pain and darkness away then took off after Jensen, legs eating up the distance, wind in his hair, and his bare feet barely touching the sand.

***

Scrambling up the steep rock, Jared blew an errant strand of hair from his face, ignoring the sharp jab of the stone in the palms of his hands. Above on the top of the ridge Jensen was waiting, arms flung wide, and the wind tangling in his hair, face turned to the bright autumn sun that washed him in a golden glow. To Jared he could have been a Greek god—perhaps Apollo. What others might see as flaws he saw as perfection in Jensen and now that perfection was mesmerizing.  
That’s what love did, he thought.  
Through the eyes of love no flaws existed, only perfection. As he reached the bottom of the ridge, Jensen let out a whoop of laughter and grabbed his pack disappearing behind a cluster of wind-twisted pines. With a huff, Jared pushed up and stood, his legs aching from the climb. He’d spent too much time behind a desk over the past couple of years, but being here with Jensen reminded him how much more there was out in the world beyond the music and endless stream of faceless lovers.  
Glancing down the incline the vision that greeted him stole his breath away. It was a beautiful cove, sheltered from the gulf by towering rocks and the far wall was a cascading fall of sparkling water that ended in a crystalline pool of spring water, surround by lush vegetation. Jensen was standing at the edge of the pool, tugging his shirt over his head, and Jared wanted to be there next to him. Scrambling over the rocks down the steep path Jared caught himself laughing.  
As he hit the bottom of the path, toes digging into the cool moist ground, he glanced up to see Jensen dropping his pants and he let out a whistle. Jensen glanced up cheeks flushed pink and smiled wide before he dove naked into the water and disappeared beneath the surface. Seconds later, he surfaced on the other side with a gasp and shook his head. Beads of moisture arched through the air to catch the sunlight and created rainbows in the air.  
“Jensen,” he whispered the other man’s name in awe.  
Tearing at his clothes Jared stripped down and dove into the pool. Across the water Jensen floated, eyes focused on Jared as he flung his head back to shake his wet hair from his face. They studied each other in silence for what seemed an eternity and then Jensen began moving toward him, body gliding through the water. Jared’s heart pounded, as it had never done before. He wanted Jensen so badly, but after everything that had happened, even after last night, he felt he didn’t deserve this. He’d been a fool for far too damn long.  
“Jared,” Jensen implored softly, “what is it?”  
He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing, and shook his head, “Why?” he whispered.  
Jensen lifted one hand, water cascading down his fingers and along his arm. He cupped Jared’s jaw, his thumb caressing the bruised skin beneath his eyes, and tipped his head with a sad smile. “If you have to ask then you’re a bigger fool than I ever imagined.”  
Tears welled in Jared’s eyes as he grasped Jensen’s wrist and placed a gentle kiss in the center of his palm. Glancing up from beneath damp lashes, he sighed. “Then I’m an enormous fool.”  
“Can’t argue with you there,” Jensen purred as his hand slipped beneath the water to capture Jared’s cock in his fist. He began stroking Jared with a firm grip, sly grin curling his lips.  
Jared leaned back against the rocks, head thrown back, and moaned. He wanted Jensen bad but not like this. He’d never told Jensen what he did with other men that would have been cruel. Searching the streets of San Antonio for something else hadn’t been because of the sex. Sex with Jensen was amazing; the best he’d ever had because for once he’d loved the man he was fucking. It was his fear of losing that love that had sent him running, but during the course of his own personal marathon, he’d discovered something. He enjoyed being in charge.  
From the moment he’d become involved with his first male lover he’d always allowed the other man to be in charge. Perhaps it was his fear of hurting his lovers in the throes of passion that had him focused on being the bottom. Then again, it might be because his first lover had been an experienced older man, who had shown him the ropes. For years he’d always enjoyed having a cock up his ass, but when he’d ran from Jensen after the first time they’d been together he’d ran straight into the arms of bottom boy who liked it rough. Tom was older, but loved to be subservient with his partners. The first time he’d slid into Tom’s tight ass he’d nearly stroked out at the feel of giving instead of receiving. He loved it, but he couldn’t see telling Jensen to bend over though.  
Now though he was trying to make things right between them and Jim had said it best. If he wanted to keep Jensen and make their relationship right, he had to be truthful with him. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, hand sliding beneath the cool water to grasp Jensen’s wrist.  
“Stop,” he gasped.  
Jensen’s eyes went wide, a look of confusion clear in their depths. “Jared?”  
Shaking his head, Jared gently guided Jensen’s hand from his cock. “I have to be honest with you.” He whispered face flushing with want. “Jim told me if I was going to make this work that I had to be honest with you.”  
“What could you possibly be hiding that I haven’t uncovered?” Jensen’s brows drew together. “It’s not like you’re good at hiding shit. I know about all the other men…” his eyes went wide. “Oh, shit. Are you—do you like women?”  
Jared began laughing and he couldn’t stop. The more he laughed the redder Jensen’s face became and he knew Jensen was getting more pissed by the second. Struggling with his laughter he finally calmed down. He gulped in air and cleared his throat as he wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes. “No,” he huffed out, “I love cock not pussy.”  
Rolling his eyes, Jensen sniffed, “Well, then what the fuck, dude?”  
Inhaling sharply Jared tensed himself for the disappointment he was going to experience. “I want to…” the words lodged in his throat and he nearly choked. Calm down, he told himself. What’s the worst thing that could happen?  
“Jay?” Jensen moved closer and reached out, hand settling on his shoulder. “What could be so bad that you can’t tell me?”  
Jared blinked and swallowed. “I want to make love to you.”  
There was a moment of silence and then a look of understanding came over Jensen’s face. A second later Jensen began laughing. Jared was shocked. Of all the reactions he’d imagined, laughter was not one of them. His shoulders slumped and his eyes began to well up. Jensen thought he was joking. A lump rose up in his chest and he turned away to pull himself from the water. He should have known Jensen wouldn’t understand.  
Suddenly a hand gripped his arm and tugged him back down and around. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”  
“But…” Jared stuttered in confusion.  
Jensen grasped his face between his hands and forced him to look into his eyes. “It took you long a fucking ‘nuff dumb ass.”  
Eyes going wide Jared smiled, dimples cleaving his face, and he began to tremble, “Really?”  
Throwing his head back, Jensen let out a deep, amused laugh that echoed across the water. “No, I’m just yanking your crank dork—of course I’m serious.” He leaned in until they could taste one another’s breath. “I’ve wanted you inside me from the moment I met you.”  
“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Jared couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.  
“Because,” Jensen breathed against his lips, “when I met a certain someone I believe he was a Nelly bottom.” He pressed a kiss to Jared’s mouth and then darted away as Jared came to his senses.  
“Hey!” Jared yelped with a wicked smile.  
Jensen’s laughter filled the cove as he dove beneath the water and Jared dove after him.

***

They stood beneath the waterfall, the water sweet and cool against their skin. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s body, hands spreading against his back and stroking its damp smoothness. He drew closer lips against Jensen’s throat, gentle at first and then nipping to draw the blood to the surface. Jensen sighed and tipped his head back to bare his throat to Jared’s insistent kisses and bites.  
Silent magic filled the cove that seemed to urge Jared on. The faint breeze that whispered through the trees surrounding the pool, lush ferns that lined its banks, the soothing sound of the waterfall behind them tumbling down the rocks and then there was Jensen. Jensen was the final piece of the puzzle the smooth slick silk of his skin beneath his fingertips, ripple of muscle beneath reacting to his touch, and the scent of him—unique and precious as no other.  
Jared’s hands slid down beneath the water cupping the swell of his ass and lifted, allowing Jensen to curl his legs around his waist and Jensen sighed again. Their cocks touched beneath the cool water, brushing against one another and Jensen’s sigh turned to a moan as he pressed closer, lips settling in the curve between Jared’s shoulder and neck to pepper biting kisses against his skin. His fingers curled tightening their grip on Jared’s broad back as he began to move through the water towards the bank.  
They didn’t need to speak, Jensen thought. Everything they needed to communicate was in the touch of their bodies. Jared’s gentle caresses told him of the guilt and sorrow his lover felt at having betrayed him in such an intimate way. With the press of his lips against Jared’s skin, he forgave him and assured him there was no need for guilt. Now they were together, finally, as fate had intended.  
With strong hands, Jared lifted him from the water and laid him back on the mossy bank, ferns tickling his skin and he smiled up at Jared. Reaching out he pulled him down between his spread thighs, one leg curling around, and his heel settling at the hollow above his ass. Jared returned his smile as Jensen reached up to cup his face pulling him down into a slow sensuous kiss. As the kiss deepened, Jared ground his hips slowly into his and Jensen moaned so softly it could have been the faint cry of the wind.  
All the months of pain melted away and they both knew that today was the first day towards the path that they’d been blindly seeking for so long.  
Reaching between them, Jared fisted both their erections and began pumping, thumb teasing over the swollen heads, gathering the glistening pre-cum, and slicking it down their shafts. Jensen’s back arched up of the cool damp moss, his lips slipping from Jared’s mouth, and his wet chest pressing against Jared, hips moving in time with the strokes along his cock. The feel was mesmerizing and he lost himself in Jared’s touch. It all seemed like a dream, but it was real. Jared was here and Jensen knew that he could never let him slip away again—he loved him too much.  
He watched as above him Jared’s lips parted on a gasp of pleasure, the faint glow of desire rising beneath the golden sheen of his skin. Jensen swallowed hard eyes glittering as he saw the shift of color and knew that he’d finally found the missing component of the portrait he’d fought with for months.  
Desire, he thought. He’d been missing this—the love and passion.  
“I want you,” Jared whispered, eyes drifting open.  
“Then take me,” Jensen replied softly.  
Jared released their erections and slowly began sliding down Jensen’s body, leaving behind a trail of moist kisses that burned Jensen’s skin with the heat of his breath—his want. Shifting Jensen’s legs over his shoulders, he spread his cheeks baring the tight opening that called to him. Leaning in he flicked his tongue over his hole and Jensen cried out, the birds stirring in the trees above them. He savored the musky scent and wondered why he’d taken so long to claim this. “Hold yourself open, Jen. Want to taste you more.”  
With trembling hands, Jensen reached beneath his thighs and pulled his cheeks wide apart with a faint whimper. Jared pressed biting kisses to the inside of his thighs and fondled his balls, squeezing and rolling them. The sounds that were escaping Jensen’s parted lips just made Jared grow harder and then he was licking and sucking at Jensen’s rim. Beneath him, Jensen cried out repeatedly as he grew braver and then he was pushing his tongue into Jensen.  
A few seconds later, he was pushing a finger inside Jensen and then another, working him open with one hand as he stroked his cock with the other. Jensen’s chest, his throat, and his cheeks bloomed with color, his lips parted as he panted and squirmed, pushing himself back on Jared’s thrusting fingers. A third finger worked into his tight channel and he began to sob softly wanting more than Jared’s fingers inside him. Jared pulled his fingers free of Jensen’s stretched hole and licked his palm using his saliva and pre-cum to slick his erection.  
Glancing down at Jensen their eyes met and he smiled, soft and hesitant. “You ready, babe?”  
Jensen nodded and bit his lip, eyes wide, and pupils blown. “Please,” he whispered.  
Positioning himself, Jared began to push, slow and steady and he trembled as he watched his cock sink, inch by inch, into Jensen body. The only sound he could here was Jensen’s faint whimpers as he grasped his ankles, spreading his legs wide and stretched him open as he sank deeper. Finally, he was balls deep in Jensen’s ass and he caught himself panting in time with Jensen. He feared that if he moved it would be over and he wanted their first time like this to last.  
“God, Jared, please move.”  
“I don’t want to hurt you.”  
“Please,” Jensen pleaded softly. “I want you to fuck me.”  
Jared inhaled harshly and tried to calm the thrum of blood through his veins. Ever so careful he began to pull back and the sound Jensen made was so desperate he pushed back in. A couple of tries and then he was thrusting with a steady rhythm into Jensen tight ass and the feel of it clinging to him was almost more than he could bear.   
He sped up and the friction set his cock on fire. “Jesus, you’re so tight, babe. So gorgeous like this, all spread out, impaled on my cock—beautiful.” He gasped as he released Jensen’s ankles and Jensen wrapped his legs around his hips. He reached out, wrapping his fingers around Jensen’s cock and began pumping it in time with his thrusts, “Beautiful, fucking beautiful.”  
Beneath him, Jensen writhed and cried out, ass pushing back into his hips as he fucked him harder, his fingers clawing desperately at the ground. It was definitely too much, Jared thought. He pulled out, flipped Jensen onto his stomach and pushed back into his ass with a clean thrust as Jensen lifted up and back, pushing up from the ground to encircle Jared’s neck with strong arms. He gasped as Jensen began riding him, hips working overtime. He slowed and pulled up turning on Jared’s cock so he could face him and smiled.  
“Want to see your face when you come in my ass,” Jensen gasped as he started to ride Jared again, erection rubbing along Jared’s abs.  
The look of pure love in Jensen’s eyes was all it took to send Jared tumbling closer to the edge. He grabbed Jensen’s face in his hands and he kissed him as he’d never kissed anyone in his life. He swore he could taste the very essence of Jensen’s soul on his lips. Jensen moaned into his mouth, wrapping his arms around his neck once more, and began riding him harder. The faster he moved, the more friction Jared felt, and the closer he came to the edge. He drew back from the kiss panting against Jensen’s cheek, breath warm and moist against his skin and whispered one word.  
“Now,” Jared growled low in his throat.  
Jensen’s head flung back even as he slammed down on Jared’s cock and he screamed. His scream joined Jared’s as they clung to one another both coming so hard their bodies shuddered. When the reverberations faded away they collapsed to the ground, legs and arms tangled, and were lulled to sleep by the crystalline song of the waterfall.

***

By the time they woke up the sun was beginning to set and the cove had darkened. They stood and dressed in silence and then headed up the ridge. Bodies relaxed they headed out along the beach skirting driftwood and rocks back towards the house. As they hit the sand, Jensen reached out taking Jared’s hand in his, squeezing gently. Gaze lowering to their tangled fingers, Jared squeezed back with a wide smile.  
They continued down the beach silent and content. Everything seemed different now. There was a peace between them, a calmness that hadn’t existed before. Jared knew that he’d stepped away from his fear finally. It wasn’t gone, but Jensen was too big of a part of him for him to allow the fear to destroy the connection they shared.  
Jensen stopped nudging Jared’s shoulder as he looked up at him then tipped his head towards the west. The sun was low to the horizon as Jared looked up, the sky a ribbon of gold, pinks, and purples. He smiled at the sight and wrapped his arm around Jensen’s back, hand sliding into the pocket of his jeans. A soft chuff of laughter escaped Jensen and then he leaned into Jared’s shoulder.  
Standing there, watching the sunset, Jared knew he was finally home.


	14. Chapter 14

One Year Later

Thousands of people lined the streets of Corpus Christi for the annual Jazz Festival. Among the bodies that thronged the streets, Jared was leading a small group of friends as if he were the head of a jungle safari and a jungle was exactly what it was. The air was thick with the scents of the Southwest; food rich with spices, ice-cold beer, and Stetson cologne. Laughter and music surrounded them as Jared tightened his grip on Jensen’s wrist, Chad, Sophie, and Steve with his boyfriend Chris followed weaving through the crowd.  
“Relax, Chris, you’re off duty.” Steve yelled over the noise.  
Chris rolled his eyes, brows knitting into an expression that scared most people who crossed his tracks. It only tickled Steve and got his hormones roaring in tsunami of lust. Currently his lust included coping a feel of that fine ass clad in faded denim sending Chris jumping and his glare become more pronounced. “Man, you need to stop that shit before I…”  
“What?” Steve asked eyes twinkling, “You going to smack me around, detective?”  
A snort escaped Chris as he darted around, muscled arm circling Steve’s neck in a headlock. “Naw, I’m gonna give you the scrubbing you deserve you, dirty boy.” His free hand curled into a fist and Steve let out a yelp as Chris began scrubbing the top of his head.  
“Jeez, get a room you two!” Chad hollered over the rising noise as he fought his way around Jared, nearly tipping Jensen over in the process.  
Jared grabbed the back of Chad’s shirt, pulled him to a halt, and spun him around. “Dude, seriously, I thought we were past the whole douche bag phase?” His eyes narrowed beneath his bangs.  
“Come on, Jared, he was born a douche and he’ll stay a douche,” Sophia laughed as she walked past smacking Chad’s ass. “But he’s my douche.”  
“Oh, baby I didn’t know you cared!” Pulling out of Jared’s grip Chad took off after Sophia, her laughter ringing out in the crisp October air as she darted through the crowd.  
“Are they screwing around still?” Jensen leaned into Jared, arm wrapped around his waist, and fingertips sliding into his front jean’s pocket.  
Jared shrugged and glanced over to where Chris had hauled Steve over one shoulder. Steve was demanding release, booted feet kicking at Chris’ broad chest and his denim-clad ass wriggling, as his tee shirt rode up. He chuckled and shook his head. “Who the hell knows with Chad and Sophia? Those two are going to be screwing around until they’re a hundred I think.”  
“Is that such a bad thing?”  
He glanced down to met Jensen’s bright gaze and smiled. “No, not all, I can’t wait to see what you look like with white hair.”  
Jensen bumped his shoulder playfully then pulled his hand from Jared’s pocket. “Hey, I know I promised to spend the weekend with you here, but I have to go pick up my roommate from the airport. He’s flying in from a trip to Los Angeles.”  
A frown drew Jared’s eyebrows together as he glanced to where Steve and Chris were oblivious to their conversation as they playfully punched one another. “Steve’s here.”  
“Shit,” Jensen blushed. “Did I forget to tell you?”  
“Tell me what?” His frown deepened.  
“I moved in with, Chris!” Steve yelled over the noise. “Last week.”  
Jensen rolled his eyes as Chris grabbed Steve in a bear hug. “Yeah, Chris decided to quit screwing around and up his game. You were visiting your parents so it was just the three of us moving. Sorry I forgot to tell you, but I was kind of busy when you got back.” He licked his lips and quirked one eyebrow in amusement.  
“So this new roommate what’s his name?” Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s neck, fingers threading through the hair at the base of his skull.  
The corner of Jensen’s mouth tipped in a smirk, “What makes you think it’s a guy?”  
“Please,” Jared snorted, “you are too damn anal to share a bathroom with a chick. If you did you’d end up fighting over them borrowing your hair products without permission.” He buried his nose in the silken strands of Jensen’s hair and inhaled. “Citrus,” he mumbled as his hands slid down Jensen’s back, thumbs hooking in the waist of his jeans. “I love the way your hair smells.” He palmed his ass and squeezed causing a noise that sounded suspiciously like a squeak to escape Jensen’s parted lips.  
“And Chad thinks we need to get a room,” Chris huffed.  
Jensen pulled back, lower lip caught between his teeth, and eyes going wide. “You going to be back home tonight?”  
“Yeah, but I have to work,” Jared sighed.  
Lifting up on his toes, Jensen smiled as he captured Jared’s lips in a lingering kiss then pulled back. “I got to go, babe,” he breathed out. “Maybe I’ll ring you at the station tonight?”  
Jared smiled wide. “I’ll wait for your call.”  
It wasn’t until Jensen had vanished into the crowd that Jared realized he still didn’t know the new roommate’s name. Oh, well, he thought he’d meet him eventually.

***

The soft, seductive voice of a woman filled the booth as Jared leaned back in his chair, eyes closed, and his fingers tapping out the rhythm of the guitar riff. His lips curled in a faint smile as the music flowed over his skin, the woman’s voice smooth and flawless as she sang in Spanish. As the music faded away, he leaned forward adjusting his head set.  
“That was Carmen Cuesta-Loeb and she’s making it happen out at the 49th Annual Texas Jazz Festival in Heritage Park, along with Tom Braxton, Freddie Martinez, the San Gabriel 7, and many more. You jazz enthusiasts need to get down to Corpus Christi this weekend and enjoy the wonderful music and the excellent weather. I’m not much for playing back-to-back songs from the same artist, but I promised someone very special I’d dedicate a song to them. Here’s Something, from the talented Carmen Cuesta-Loeb. To the sexiest, most talented artist I’ve ever known. I’ll always be there for you, Jen.”

Something in the way he moves…distracts me like no other lover  
Something in the way he moves me…I don’t want to leave him now…

Inhaling sharply, Jared reached for his coffee and took a sip just as the phone rang. Jensen had already called once, but he wouldn’t be surprised to hear from him again. After what they’d gone through last fall, Jensen had determined that Jared needed constant assurance that he wasn’t going anywhere. After all that was what had sent Jared in a direction that no sane man would have went. He loved how protective Jensen had become after Misha.  
He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He hadn’t thought about that name in nearly a year. Sitting the coffee aside, he picked up the phone, “KRTU. Jared Padalecki.” There was no answer at first and chill crept up his spine. “Hello?”  
“Play Misty for me?”  
Jared’s heart stopped, frozen in his chest for a split second at the sound of that voice on the other end of the line. It can’t be, he thought.  
“Jared, I didn’t mean to shake you up. I’m sorry. Damned foolish of me to drop it on you like this; I just wanted to let you know they released me. The therapy worked.” Misha paused as if he were listening to Jared’s breathing on the other end of the line. “It was a bad dream, but it’s over now.”  
Swallowing hard, Jared exhaled. “Where are you?”  
“LAX…Los Angeles…I’ve only got a couple of minutes before my flight. I got a job in Honolulu and I’m headed out there.”  
“So,” Jared drawled softly, “You’re okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m good now. Clean bill of health. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I was for…” his voice trailed off.  
“Forget it, Misha—I have.”  
“I hope so, Jared. Because this maiden, she lived with no other thought than to love and be loved by you.”  
“Are you near a radio?” Jared frowned trying to recall where he’d heard that verse.  
“No, but could you play it for me anyway? One last time?”  
Before Jared could reply, Misha hung up. He figured it was part of Misha’s therapy to let the past go before he moved on in his life. Accepting that what he’d done was wrong and doing his best to apologize for the darkness he’d visited upon Jared’s life. He seemed like a different man, calmness in his voice that hadn’t been there before. Settling the phone back in its cradle with a sigh, Jared contemplated Misha’s request as he turned back to the mike. He’d said his good-byes the week after Misha had nearly killed Sandy. Jensen had wanted to come to the hearing, but Jared had begged him to stay home. Even now, he could recall exactly what he’d said.

I got myself into this, Jensen, and I’ll face the consequences by myself. I don’t want him to see us together—ever. God knows what he’d do if you showed up in that courtroom with me. I can’t lose you after I just found you again.

“Fuck you, Misha,” he whispered.

***

Music was playing, Jared thought, as he lay lost in sleep beneath the tangle of his covers. Soft tinkling notes that spoke of love, unspoken. He shifted onto his side and settled as the notes continued to slide over his skin as if fingers over a keyboard of ivory and ebony. A tiny frown settled between his eyebrows as his eyes drifted open to the darkness of his room.  
It wasn’t a dream unless—  
Misty, he thought just as his gaze focused on a shadow that didn’t belong. His eyes widened as moonlight streamed through the bedroom window to highlight a face he knew far too well. Misha stood over him, gentle smile in contrast to the gleaming blade he held in his hand.  
With a suddenness that startled the quiet of the room, Misha screamed.  
Instincts kicking in Jared rolled across the mattress and tumbled onto the floor as the blade bit into the pillow he’d been laying on only seconds before. His head hit the wall causing his vision to swim in and out of focus for a second. He scrambled to his knees expecting another attack, but the room was empty and silent.  
He released a ragged breath. Just a nightmare brought on by Misha’s call earlier, Jared thought and then he realized the music was still playing. A shudder travelled down his spine as he slowly turned his head, eyes wild with fear to see what he’d hoped wasn’t real. An eight-inch jagged hunting blade imbedded so deep in his pillow that it had pierced the mattress beneath.  
Pushing up off the floor, he searched the room for any sign that Misha was still there. He switched on every light in the house, and the exterior lights. Outside in the meditation garden he spotted the garage door hanging open. He took a calming breath and went to the nightstand, yanked open the drawer, and pulled a 9-mm semi-automatic out, loading the clip. Gun held firm in his hand he moved through the small garden towards the door, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, and bare feet padding silently against the cool stone.  
On reaching the door he reached out and yanked it fully back so that it hit the wall, crushing the roses that grew there. Nothing…all was silent. If not for the knife sticking out of his pillow and the faint strains of Misty drifting from the patio doors he would have truly believed it was nothing but a dream.  
Instead, it was a nightmare.  
As he closed and locked the garage door the phone began to ring. Carefully making his way back to the bedroom he reached for the phone and lifted it to his ear.  
“Hello?”  
“Mr. Padalecki?” the gruff voice of a man came across the line.  
“Yes, who is this?”  
“Sergeant Morgan with the SAPD. I’m sorry to be calling so late, but something has come up.”  
Jared snorted as he laid the gun on the nightstand. “I know. He just paid me a visit with a hunting knife.” His gaze settled on the knife that was still pinning his pillow to the mattress and ran his fingers through his tousled hair.  
Definitely a nightmare, he thought.

***

Jeff Morgan was not a happy cop, “Why?” he growled in frustration. “Because the DA has a brain the size of a pea and listened to that dumb ass psychiatrist at the state hospital in Austin, who claims Misha Collins is officially sane. That plus the fact that they released him on parole pending further legal action.” He eyed the bagged and tagged blade that he’d retrieved from Jared’s bed with annoyance.  
“When?” Jared demanded.  
Crossing the room, Morgan lifted the mug in his hand and took a swig of the bitter brew. “Week ago.” He offered, eyes never leaving Jared where he sat slouched in a chair, nursing a beer.  
Jared lifted his disbelieving gaze from the beer, expression infuriated. “Well, I’m really impressed with the way you busted your ass letting me know the son of a bitch was back on the streets.”  
“Look,” Morgan snapped, “I just fucking found out tonight myself.”  
“Great! Who the hell is in charge down there?”  
Jared was pissed not that Morgan could blame him. Budget cuts aside it was a cluster fuck that the authorities decided to release Collins on his own reconnaissance. That bastard should have been rotting in prison, crazy or not, for what he’d done to that girl. The mayor hadn’t been any happier when dragged out of bed in the middle of night to face an infuriated Morgan and that stupid fucking DA who was still insisting he’d made the right decision. Where did these fucking attorneys get their law degrees now days—a bloody Cracker Jack box?  
“Kid, I know you’re upset, but do you want to help me find the crazy bastard or do you want to set here bellyaching about how the damn system is broke?”  
“Fine,” Jared took a swig of his beer, “I’ll help you.”  
“Good.” Morgan took another sip of his coffee. “So tell me again exactly what he said to you.”  
Jared shook his head trying to make sense of something in that conversation that could help the police find Misha before the fucker found whatever he was looking for. “I told you all I know, man. He told me he was well, he’d found a job in Honolulu, and that he was at LAX on his way there.”  
“And what else?” Morgan demanded.  
Glaring up at Morgan through his bangs, Jared snorted. “I already told you.”  
“Tell me again.”  
“You’re a lousy conversationalist.” Jared growled.  
“Yeah, well you make lousy coffee. Now cut the crap, kid, and tell me what else Collins said.”  
Jared shook his head, gaze lowering, “Nothing—except…”  
Eyes narrowing, Morgan moved closer, “Except what?”  
“It was nothing; just a line from a poem.”  
“What poem?”  
Sighing Jared ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “If I knew that I’d know the line, wouldn’t I?”  
“Well try to remember.”  
“Look, Morgan, it’s getting late and you’re sounding a bit monotonous.” He stood and stretched with a wide yawn.  
Morgan’s eyes lit up in amusement, the kid was trying to intimidate him with his height. “You ain’t exactly my idea of a hot date either.”  
“Good night, Sergeant.” Jared headed for the door and Morgan followed.  
“Hey, what happened to the Montavani?”  
“The what?” Jared pushed open the door with a frown.  
Morgan leaned against the wall finishing off his coffee. “Well, I listened to the show, but I never heard the Montavani.”  
“You really listened to my show?” Jared grinned.  
“If we had a decent television down at the station, kid, I’d break my arm before I turned on your show.”  
Jared snorted and rolled his eyes. “Thanks a lot, Morgan.”  
He handed Jared the empty coffee mug, his expression suddenly going serious. “Just hope we’re lucky enough to catch him the next time he tries.”  
“Tries what?”  
“To kill you.”  
“And if you’re not lucky enough?” Jared raised one eyebrow.  
“That’d be hell,” he shrugged stepping out the door. “All the guys down at the station would have to chip in for a television.”  
Jared watched him go, “You’re a great comfort.”  
Pausing at the door, Morgan looked back over his shoulder. “I suggest you get those locks changed first thing in the morning. I can’t believe you didn’t do it in the first damn place.”  
Jared saluted Morgan, “Yes, sir.”  
As the door closed behind Morgan, his voice drifted back. “Dumbass, kids, these days. Don’t have the sense God gave ‘em.”


	15. Chapter 15

Jogging through Missions Park, Jensen chewed at the inside of his lip, nerves on edge. When Jared had called, he was glad to know that he’d gotten home without any shenanigans over at Jim’s bar. He was proud of Jared, their relationship had evolved into something that he’d doubted he would ever see, but now he couldn’t be happier. That was until he had received that damn call.

Jared had sounded freaked out about something, but he’d refused to talk about it over the phone, he just said it was vital that Jensen get to Concepcion Mission. He promised he would meet him there and he’d explain everything. Whatever it was Jared had to explain had better be good, he thought considering how damn freaked he was right now.

As he entered the grounds, he spotted Jared right where he’d promised he would be. He was leaning against the mission well, eyes focused down, and arms folded over his chest. His shoulders were slumped and when Jensen saw that, the lump that had been growing in his stomach suddenly filled his throat instead. In the past year, he hadn’t seen that kind of body language except once. It was when Jared had returned from the hearing for…

His eyes went wide and he sent a silent prayer out to the heavens that it had nothing to do with that monster who’d tried to murder Sandy. After Sandy had gotten out of the hospital, she’d decided to move back to California where she’d been born. She loved them all, she explained, but she needed some time to get herself back together. She’d transferred to UCLA and found what she needed there to begin healing from the hell she’d survived.

“Jay?” he called out as he came to a halt a few feet away.

Lifting his head, Jared’s sharp hazel eyes focused on Jensen’s face and he knew that his prayer hadn’t reached the heavenly host. Chest tightening he crossed the few feet that separated them and Jared fell into his arms. Beneath his cheek, Jensen could feel the thundering of Jared’s heart through his chest.

“It’s him—isn’t it?” Jensen whispered afraid to look up as he buried his face in Jared’s chest.

Jared inhaled sharply, his chest heaving with the effort. “Yes, it’s him.”

Eyes drifting shut, he released a ragged breath, and then tipped his head up tightening his grip around Jared. Slowly he opened his eyes and met Jared’s stoic gaze. “They released him didn’t they?”

All Jared could do was nod, his eyes filling with moisture as he chewed at his lower lip. Jensen pulled back, grasped his hand and led him to one of the mission’s archways where a black metal bench sat. Jared followed as if he were a small child guided by a parent’s hand, shoulders still slumped with the weight of a horror he'd thought over. Jensen guided him to set down and then settled next to him, one hand lowering to squeeze Jared’s thigh.

Jared sighed softly, “I’m the one he wants and I already talked to Sergeant Morgan. I think it would be a good idea if we didn’t see one another for a few days.”

Eyes widening, Jensen reached out and lifted Jared’s chin. “He’s contacted you—hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, last night at the radio station. He called.” He considered telling Jensen that Misha had shown up at his apartment as well, but he knew Jensen to well. The moment he opened his mouth, Jensen would insist on either staying with him or having him stay at his condominium. Neither was an option that he was willing to follow. He needed Jensen safe and as far away from him as possible. “Is Richard around?”

Raising one eyebrow, Jensen licked his lips thoughtfully. “Okay, what are you on—crack? You hate Richard. What is going on in that head of yours?”

Jared groaned. “Look I don’t hate Richard. I just hate the way he looks at you like you're…you’re a bloody t-bone steak ready to toss on his grill. He’s a pervert, but he’s your friend and I was thinking that maybe you could head down to…”

Pushing up off the bench with a snort, Jensen began pacing along the stone floor. “I am not running away to Corpus to hide from that son of a bitch. Don’t even think about it. My condominium has the latest security and there are fucking cameras everywhere. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, fine.” Jared gave in reluctantly. “Just promise me you’ll go straight home from here and don’t leave your apartment for a couple of days—please?”

Jensen paused and ran his fingers through his hair. “Fine, I’ll stay in my guarded tower like fucking Rapunzel.”

Despite the severity of the situation, Jared laughed. He stood wrapping his arms around Jensen. “I love you so much.”

“Is it my stunning good looks, my fabulous sense of humor, or my huge cock?” Jensen snickered as he turned in Jared’s arms meeting his eyes with a wink.

Jared leaned in breath warm and smelling of mint. “I don’t know,” he pressed his brow to Jensen’s and smiled, “but if I’d have to chose it would be the huge cock.”

Lips pressed to Jensen’s mouth, his tongue teased along his lips until Jensen let him in. The kiss deepened so they were breathing each others air until there was none left to breath. When he pulled back with a gasp, he lifted one hand to brush Jensen’s bangs from his eyes. The last thing he would ever allow was Misha to hurt Jensen. He would die for Jensen. Hell he would kill for him.

He hoped it wouldn’t come to either.

***

Morgan leaned against the booth door watching the police technician set up the trace equipment on the station’s call in line, his cell glued to his ear as he spoke to his captain. Outside in the office Sophia and Chad studied him with suspicious glances as Jared scribbled notes for the night’s show. A pre-recorded selection of music was playing to give the tech enough time to finish the setup.

“Now, what is it exactly this cop is doing?” Chad’s eyes narrowed.

Blowing a strand of hair from his eyes, Jared continued scribbling and replied without looking up. “Chill, dude, he’s not looking to steal your damned stash. He’s convinced that Misha is going to call again tonight and if he does their going to trace the call. They’re hoping to get a location for him and then they can pick him up.”

“What really happened last night, Jared?”

Sophia’s soft inquiry made him stiffen. “Nothing.” He replied.

She arched one slim brow and snorted. “Yeah, right and I just saw a flock of flying pigs pass by the station a few minutes ago.”

Jared dropped his pen and leaned back in the chair, scrubbing his palms over his face, and through his hair with a groan. “Look, Sophia…”

Her hands slammed hard against the desktop as she leaned into his personal space. “Don’t you Look Sophia me! You need to spill the beans now or so help me God I’ll call Jensen and…”

Pushing up to his full height, he glared down at her, but she wasn’t backing off. “And what?” he demanded.

“Damn it, Jared. Keeping secrets is what got you into this mess in the first place.” She let out a frustrated sigh. “Jensen doesn’t even know what this fucker looks like. What if he comes after him?”

Jared glanced at Chad who flung his hands in air. “Don’t look at me, man. Sophia has a point.”

He exhaled and rolled his eyes. “Misha isn’t after Jensen—okay? He came to my house last night and left a knife in my pillow. He’s pissed at me—he wants me.”

“Jesus,” Sophia swore beneath her breathe. “Did you tell…?”

“No.” Jared began pacing the small office. “You know how protective he’s been since this entire cluster fuck started. If I’d told him, he'd have insisted I stay with him or he stay with me. I can’t risk Misha getting anywhere near him.”

She reached out grabbing his arm and squeezing gently. “But you can risk dying and leaving him alone? You are an idiot, Jared. What if something bad happens to you, Jensen would be devastated.”

Jared sighed. “Nothing is going to happen to me. Morgan has a detail watching my apartment and the station. Misha may be crazy, but he’s not stupid.”

“Kid,” Morgan called out halting any further discussion. “We’re set.”

Taking a deep breath, Jared pulled away from Sophia and glanced at Chad. “Make sure she doesn’t call Jen—okay?”

Chad grabbed his backpack and flipped Jared the bird. “You tell her not to call, cause dude I value my balls too damn much.”

Flipping the bird back, he turned to Sophia. “Sophia, if everything goes well tonight there’s no need to scare Jen out of his mind. Just give the cops a chance.”

She considered it for a moment then sighed. “Fine, but if they don’t pick his ass up by morning I can’t promise anything else. I already almost lost one friend to this son of a bitch’s insanity. I won’t lose another.” Turning away before Jared could reply she headed out the door with Chad in tow.

“You know she’s right, kid. You can’t keep your boyfriend in the dark forever.”

Jared sighed as he settled behind the broadcast desk. “I get that okay, I do, but for now the last thing I need is to put him in Misha’s line of fire.”

Taking a deep breath, Jeff turned to the tech who was packing up his tools. He figured it wasn’t his place to tell Jared how to run his relationship, but he could see the fear in the young man’s eyes. “We ready to go?”

“Yes, sir, we’ll be monitoring from the van outside.”

“Good.” Jeff watched as the tech left then turned to Jared. “Okay, they’re all set for the trace. When he phones you just mention his name right away, Misha, and they’ll start the trace. All you have to do after that is keep him talking as long as possible. Got it?”

Leaning over, Jared nodded and flipped off the tape as the music ended. “This is J-Pad the Jazzman and we’re fifteen minutes after the hour here at KRTU 91.7. Here comes a classic It’s Not Unusual.” He punched a button and slid the headphones down around his neck, glanced up at Morgan who was watching him with narrowed eyes.  
“I guess it hasn’t come to you yet—has it?”

Jared frowned as he flipped through his notes for the night. “What?”

“What he said to you--over the phone last night? Part of a poem or something. You told me you’d try to remember.”

Shoulders slumping Jared sighed. “I thought I had, but it slipped my mind again.” He glanced up at Morgan with a set of eyes that would have done any puppy proud. “Is it really that important?”

“Everything is important until we haul his crazy ass in for good.”

Jared exhaled as he leaned back in the chair. All he could think of was Jensen. He knew he shouldn’t worry too much. Misha had never seen Jensen other than a slightly blurry photo on his dresser, the one in the silver frame, but he couldn’t help it.

“What is it, kid?” Morgan questioned, his voice softening from its usual gravelly tone.

“I can’t help worrying about, Jensen. I know that he’s safe, there’s security in the building, but still…” he trailed off scrubbing at his eyes. “Maybe the best thing would me to call Chad and Sophie back here, have them sub for me.”

“Now, look, the only chance we have to catch this fucker is when he calls the station. The only way he’ll do that is if you’re here. You need to be behind that mike tonight, this might be our only chance.” Morgan offered him smile, something that looked oddly out of place on his usually stern face. “If it’ll make you feel better I can stop by at his condo and check in on him—okay?”

Jared nodded appreciation obvious in his eyes. “I’d really appreciate that. He lives at the Piazza San Lorenzo Condominiums downtown, overlooks the River Walk, the Villa Bernini complex. Ackles is the last name, Jensen Ackles.”

“Give him a call and let him know to be expecting me.”

As he headed for the door, Jared cleared his throat, “Hey, Morgan.”

Morgan paused and glanced over his shoulder, “Yeah?”

“Thanks for everything.”

With a wink, Morgan turned away, “Public servant—that’s how it works.”

***

No sooner had the door closed behind Morgan than Jared pulled out his cell, scrolled through his numbers and dialed Jensen. The phone rang twice and then Jensen’s breathless voice came over the line. “Hello!”

“Hey, babe,” Jared smiled at the sound of Jensen’s voice. “Just checking in—you okay?”

Jensen laughed softly, “I’m fine you worry wart. I’m getting ready to work on those sketches for the promotion at Richard’s gallery and I have your program on. Oh, and Lee is in the kitchen making some cappuccinos, whip cream and all just like you like them.”

“Lee?” Jared raised an eyebrow.

“My roommate, remember?”

“Oh, you didn’t tell me her name.”

“His name not her name silly. Weren’t you the one that said I’d never be able to live with a woman?”

“Yeah,” Jared groaned, “it was me. So who is this Lee and when do I get to meet him?”

“When things settle down a bit you can come over to meet him. He’s a poet and writer. His mom was an English Literature professor back East…Massachusetts I think. She actually named him after a character in her favorite poem or some kind of nonsense. You don’t need to worry he’s committed to his partner.”

Jared’s felt his face heat in embarrassment. “I wasn’t worried.” He could almost hear the smile in Jensen’s voice when he replied.

“Really? Are you sure you shouldn’t be worried?” He teased.

A soft chuckle rose in Jared’s throat. “No, I don’t think so. I’ve got you caught hook, line, sinker and there isn’t any way out now. Look, I called because Sergeant Morgan is on his way over there to check up on you. Let him in, but no one else—okay?”

“Okay, I promise, Jay. Everything is going to be fine. Hey, can you play me something sentimental.”

“Sure, anything for you. Bye, Jen.”

“Bye, babe.”

***

Jensen hung up the phone, flipping it shut with a smile. He’d told Jared not to worry, but it made him happy that Jared never listened. So much had changed over the past year and all of it for the best. He’d made Jared work for it and he had with a passion that Jensen had never witnessed in him before. Actually, that passion had boiled over into his work. He’d just recently decided to contact Samantha Ferris up in San Francisco again in attempt to mend broken fences. She’d actually taken the time to fly down two months ago and Jared had confessed everything that had happened last fall. Samantha had understood better than Jared had thought and three days prior, she’d sent Jared a letter telling him that she had a position for him in San Francisco at one of her stations.

Pushing up off the sofa, Jensen sat the phone aside, and moved across the room to his drawing desk. Richard had been thrilled and shocked when he’d told him that Jared was willing to relocate to San Francisco. So, thrilled that he’d offered Jensen the chance to design the promotional material for the second gallery he was opening up there.

He trailed his fingers over the initial rough sketches he’d done yesterday and smiled. All they had to do was make it through tonight then the rest of their lives waited, stretched out in front of them. Jensen settled down on his stool and picked up a piece of charcoal. His fingers beginning to move over the paper, the soothing sound of Jared’s voice coming over the radio driving him on.

“This is KRTU 91.7 broadcasting from the campus of Trinity University and I’m J-Pad the Jazzman coming to you at 30 minutes past the hour. Now here’s something a little sentimental for a very special guy. ‘No Ordinary Love’ from Sade.”

“Hope you like cinnamon in yours.”

I gave you all the love I got  
I gave you more than I could give  
I gave you love  
I gave you all that I have inside

Jensen glanced up then continued sketching as Lee moved closer settling a mug on the side table. “I trust you. I suck at making cappuccino. You can ask Jared when you finally meet him. Jay’s the cappuccino guy. Give me a cup of straight up black Columbian roast any day.”

And you took my love  
You took my love  
Didn't I tell you  
What I believe  
Did somebody say that  
A love like that won't last  
Didn't I give you  
All that I've got to give baby

“You’d better taste it before it gets cold.”

Setting aside the charcoal, Jensen spun his stool, retrieved the steaming mug, and cradled it in his palms as he lifted it to his lips. The aroma was sweet with a hint of bitterness, the foam just airy enough that it melted on his tongue as he sipped it. His eyes fluttered shut as he moaned in pleasure. “Oh my God, Lee, this is orgasmic. Jay is going to be so jealous when I tell him you make better cappuccino than he does.”

He took another sip as Lee laughed. “Now don’t go making him jealous or he might want to snag me, too.”

***

Jared leaned back in his chair, spinning his pen in between his fingers, a habit he’d picked up back in high school when he was on the debate team. The music flowed over him as he whispered to himself. “Lee,” he mused eyebrows drawing together in a frown.

Pushing off the desk, he turned in the chair to face the shelving behind him where he kept a number of volumes of poetry. He’d been trying hard to recall the line that Misha had quoted the night before when he’d called, but it just wouldn’t come to him. There was a familiarity to it, that made his brain itch and it annoyed him that he couldn’t recall it.

He stood and walked to the shelf long fingers gliding over the spines of the books.

***

“It’s good isn’t it?” Raising one eyebrow, Lee wandered to where Jensen’s portrait of Jared sat on his easel.  
Jensen sighed as he finished off his drink, tongue darting out to lick traces of the rich foam off his lips. “Oh, it’s fantastic…almost too rich for my tastes. Jared has more of a sweet tooth than I do.”

“This is fantastic, too.” Lee mused. “There’s just one thing though—do you mind?”

“No, not at all,” Jensen shifted on his stool and frowned as the room began to sway. He must be more tired than he’d thought.

“The eyes are wrong,” Lee voice deepened. “Jared’s are…how shall I say? Colder.”

Jensen reached out to steady himself on the desk, gaze drifting down to focus on the last traces of the cappuccino, and shook his head as his vision began to blur around the edges. “I…I didn’t know you knew…knew, Jared.” He stuttered lifting his head and trying to focus on Lee.

Turning from the painting, Lee gave Jensen a confused look. “What?”

He got to his feet and swayed, eyes drifting down to focus for a moment on Lee’s wrist. He took a step forward as he caught a glimpse of the scars crisscrossing the skin there. “Oh, God,” he swallowed hard and stumbled towards the front door. “What did…what…did you do to me?”

His shin hit the coffee table and he lost his balance crumbling to his knees. Hand trembling he grasped at the edge of the table has his vision began to gray out. Lee was suddenly in front of him, smiling down, sapphire eyes cold and soulless. Gorge rose in the back of Jensen’s throat as he scrambled across the floor.

“Oh, Jensen,” he clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I wouldn’t say we knew one another unless we’re talking about in the Biblical way.” He crossed the room watching Jensen fight to take a breath. “Don’t worry, pretty boy, I didn’t poison you. I just dropped a little extra something in your drink.”

“Misha,” Jensen let out a sob collapsing to the floor as the room went black.

“Why yes, I am.”


	16. Chapter 16

Behind Jared the music switched over into a block of commercials as he scanned the shelves, his thoughts jumbled together in a mass of confusion. Something wasn’t right, he knew it in his gut, but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was that sent goose pimples rising along his arms. He paused and then turned his head, fingers dragging back toward a volume he’d originally passed up. Grasping the binding he pulled out the thick leather bound volume and headed back to the board.

“Poe,” he mumbled beneath his breath as he began flipping through the pages, his head pounding in time with his heartbeat. What was that line Misha had quoted? He wondered as his hands shook with the effort to remember.

Suddenly he stopped flipping the pages, the edge of one slicing through the pad of his finger. He lifted his hand at the sharp sting and sucked the tip between his lips, but not before one drop of scarlet splashed against the stark white of the page next to a line of bold print.

Annabelle Lee

Jared’s brows drew together, Annabelle Lee, he thought as he traced the first stanza with the tip of his finger knowing what he would find. His eyes went wide as he whispered to himself. “And this maiden she lived with no other thought, than to love and be loved by me.” Throat going tight, his gaze shifted back to the title. “Oh, God,” he choked on bile as he finally, put the pieces together.

The name of Jensen’s new roommate was Lee, Misha had quoted “Annabelle Lee”, and there was no doubt the bastard had been warning him. He slammed the book shut, dug into the front pocket of his hoodie, and pulled free his cell. Hands damp with perspiration, he pulled up Jensen’s number, and dialed, phone pressed tight against his ear.

“Come on, Jen,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “Damn it, answer the fucking phone.” As if on cue, the phone ceased ringing, and he could hear someone’s soft breathing. “Jensen?”

“We’re waiting for you, Jared.”

Then the phone went dead.

Jared flipped the phone shut, shoving it into his pocket, heart pounding desperately against his ribs as he glanced around the booth for something—

He spotted the CD he’d made months ago for Sam Ferris up on one of the shelves and he released a sigh of relief. Grabbing the case, he popped it open, yanked the CD from inside, and then slid it into the player on the board. Hands shaking he began programming the board so that the recording would kick in as soon as the commercials ended. He barely made it in time.

“This is J-Pad the jazzman back with a little verse and some sizzling notes to spice up your night…”

The door slammed behind Jared as he vanished into the night.

***

Blade on canvas—shredding and ripping until there was nothing left.

The sound was unmistakable even through the fog that held Jensen’s mind and body captive. He could hear breathing as well, ragged and desperate inhalations that kept time with the sounds of the shredding canvas. He tried to remember where he was, but the fog was so thick. It had the consistency of molasses on a winter morning, thick and opaque through which his thoughts struggled, dying insects with no hope of salvation or resurrection.

He tried to move and that was when he experienced his first moment of clarity. It was temporary, but it opened eyes to his situation. Misha, he thought terror gripping him tight enough that he found it difficult to breath. Misha had been hiding in plain sight and Jared didn’t know. God, why hadn’t he given up his grip on the condominium or at the very least gave into Jared who’d wanted to move in with him months ago. Instead, he’d held onto that last strand of wispy fear and invited the devil right into his front door.

The fear grew when he realized he was in his own room, lying on his own bed, and bound spread eagle to the frame’s four heavy posts. He tried to lift his head, call out for help, but a strip of duct tape sealed his mouth and the best he could do was a muffled moan. From the end of the bed, he heard watery, hysterical laughter. Jensen’s eyes widened as his vision cleared and Misha came into focus.

“I see you decided to join me while I improve on your art.” Lifting his arm, Misha gripped the knife tighter, and brought it down. The blade flashed in the dim light as it pierced the canvas portrait of Jared that Jensen had worked so hard on. Razor edge slicing through it for the twentieth time, Misha cocked his head, overly bright eyes studying the brush strokes with regret and sadness. “I would have been faithful until my last breath. Instead,” he yanked down on the blade, renting the canvas, “he decided to leave me for a disgusting little bitch like you.”

Turning, gaze focused on his terrified captive, Misha offered Jensen a mocking smile that held nothing but pure insanity. Jensen moaned and began struggling against the rope that bound him as Misha stepped around the corner of the bed. Behind him, Jensen could see his portrait of Jared, on the easel, shredded by the blade that Misha gripped tightly, his knuckles blanched from the strain. As he came closer, Jensen twisted harder against the ropes, panting through his nose, and tears welled in his eyes.

What he’d done to that painting scared Jensen on a level that he’d never experienced before. There was nothing inside this man except black inhuman bitterness, and it had broken free now, staining as many lives as it could. His eyes focused on the blade as Misha lowered it to his temple.

“Oh, Jensen,” Misha tittered, “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to make you all pretty for Jared—that’s all.” He leaned in his twisted smile fading and his free hand lifting to tangle in Jensen’s silky hair. As his fingers tightened, he leaned closer, eyes drifting shut, and he inhaled. “Citrus,” he whispered flat of the blade ghosting along the side of Jensen’s face. “Citrus and sandalwood…I see why he likes you; pretty, smells good…” the blade snagged in the worn cotton of Jensen’s tee shirt as his voice trailed off.

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut. There was no way in hell he was going shed tears in front of this bastard. That’s what he wanted. Misha wanted him to squirm, to beg and plead, but Jensen was no damn pussy, his parents had raised him right. He was tough and he was smart, smarter than his choices recently might imply. If the damn police had let them know about Misha’s release then they could have—

What, He wondered?

It wasn’t as if Misha would stop hunting them. He was obsessed with Jared. Wanted Jared for his own and anyone he perceived a threat was fair game. Now, Jensen truly understood how Sandy must have felt that afternoon when the bastard had attacked her.

The sound of his tee shirt ripping open caused tremors to move through his body and Jensen fought to calm his breathing.  
“Careful now,” Misha purred next to his ear. “I’d hate to mar that luscious skin of yours.”

***

Jared was cussing a blue streak. Any other night the traffic would have thinned out by now, but some drunken idiot had caused one hell of an accident on the southbound lanes of I-35 tonight. What would have normally been anywhere from a nine to twelve minute trip was now going to take a half-hour if he were lucky, but luck was not something he had tonight.  
With every second that passed, that fucking psycho Misha was holding Jensen. His fingers dug into the steering wheel, his chest tightening as panic flooded through his blood stream. What if he didn’t make it in time and Misha hurt Jen—or something worse?

Leaning back in the seat, traffic at a standstill, Jared ran his hands over his face and through his hair. Ahead of him, about a quarter of a mile, the sound of another siren snapped him out of his confusion and his hands dropped.

“Sergeant Morgan.” He slapped his forehead with a groan.

How had he forgotten that Morgan had headed out at least a half-hour before he’d figured it out that Misha was already inside Jensen’s apartment? Digging in his pocket, he yanked his cell free and flipped it open dialing Morgan’s number. As the line rang, he continued to curse beneath his breath.

“Come on, Morgan, answer the goddamn phone.”

***

“I bet Jared loves your eyes. Come on, baby, open those eyes and let Misha see them.”

The icy point of Misha’s knife teased at the corner of Jensen’s eye and he knew if he didn’t do exactly as Misha said he might lose an eye. He swallowed hard and slowly opened his eyes to focus on Misha’s amused expression.

“Aw…yes,” Misha traced the flat of the blade along the edge of his orbital socket. “Those are some gorgeous eyes. Does he look into them as he fucks you?” the blade lifted and brushed through Jensen’s hair. “And your hair—does he thread his fingers in your hair as you suck that beautiful cock of his?”

Jensen’s eyes narrowed and he yanked hard at the ropes again. This son of a bitch was pissing him off. Yes, he had the upper hand, but Jensen figured that if Misha was going to kill him, he needed to do it and quit screwing around.

He clucked his tongue and shook his head, “As I said—careful, pretty boy.” Fingers carding through Jensen’s hair he tightened his grip and brought the knife down to slice through the strand of hair. “Have to get you all nice for, Jared.” He whispered as he began cutting chunks of Jensen’s hair off. “I hope he likes what he sees when he walks in here.” With each strand of hair he cut, his voice tightened and Jensen couldn’t stand to look in those empty eyes any longer. “Because, my pretty whore, that’s what he’s taking to hell with him.”

***

Morgan pulled into the parking garage and immediately a security guard, taking his job too fucking serious, confronted him. He tried to remind himself that this was a good thing, but he was still annoyed as the little punk took his time looking over his identification.

“Look, kid, I know you’re just doing your job, but how about you give Mr. Ackles a ring. He’s expecting me.”  
The security guard narrowed his eyes and huffed as he turned to the call box, buzzing the front desk. “Hey, Rob this is Jerry down at the main garage. There’s a cop looking for Mr. Ackles. Yeah, could you buzz him and ask? Sure,” he squinted at the ID again, “Sergeant Jeffrey Morgan with San Antonio Violent Crimes Unit. Sure thing I’ll wait.” He turned and offered Morgan a faint smile before passing the badge and ID card back. “Rob’s calling up. Sorry about the delay.”

“Not a problem, kid.” Jeff took his badge back.

A few minutes passed and then the call box buzzed. Jerry picked up the receiver, “Gate One. Yeah, okay I’ll let him know—thanks.” Setting the receiver in its cradle, he turned back to Morgan and hit the switch, the arm lifting up with a faint whir. “He’s expecting you. Visitor parking is on Level 4. Just follow the arrows.”

With a nod, Morgan shifted out of park, and guided his SUV into the garage and up the ramp. Well at least Jensen was okay, he thought, but he still wanted to see him with his own eyes. Behind him he heard the whir of the hydraulics as the arm swung back down. Jared should be thankful that Jensen lived in a secure condominium instead of some place out in the middle of nowhere. It would have been easier for Misha to get to him that way. Of course, Misha was still out there and as long as that crazy little fucker ran free neither of those boys would ever find peace.

***

Misha sat the phone down, eyebrows drawn together in a furious frown. Things would have been easier if Jared hadn’t involved that fucker Morgan. Morgan knew what he looked like and that complicated things. He turned on heel and headed back into the bedroom where Jensen laid, wide eyes following his every move.

“Seems that Jared decided to send someone to check on you.” He mused as he thumbed the blade, gaze focused on some distant point that only he could see. He suddenly focused on Jensen with an intense gaze that caused Jensen to shiver. “Just set tight, sweetheart, I’ve got something to take care of.”

Seconds later, Jensen heard the apartment door shut. He began struggling against his bonds, ignoring the pain as his skin, rubbed raw from his struggles, began to bleed on the sheets.

***

Pulling his SUV into the first parking spot he found, Morgan shifted into park, and then cut the engine. Despite the lighting available, the garage, in places, was still shadowy, and he reached into the glove apartment to retrieve his flashlight. Pushing open the door, he stepped from the vehicle and onto the smooth asphalt. It was always possible that Misha could have slipped by security. After all he was crazy not stupid and in Morgan’s experience the crazy ones were the ones that you needed to watch out for.

As he crossed the parking garage to the elevator, he noted the lights were out around the elevator, and an alarm went off in his head. The only light was the red gleam of the panel above where the floors counted down the elevator’s descent. Morgan reached for his gun as the doors of the elevator opened. Beyond the opening doors, there were no lights either and every hair on the back of his neck rose. He loaded a round in the chamber of his gun and cautiously moved, the beam sweeping through the darkness.

From the corner of his eye, he caught a faint flutter of movement and at the same time, his cell rang. Before he could react to either, there was a faint hiss of air and fire bloomed in his shoulder. He hit the ground and rolled, gritting his teeth as the fire swept down his side. Body coming to a stop, Morgan closed his eyes and fought to get his breathing under control. He reached up and felt the sticky warmth of his own blood soaking his left shoulder.

Another shot rang out, whizzing by his ear this time, and ricocheting off the concrete pillar between him and Misha. He grunted and fell back to the ground, his vision swimming. As his vision began to gray around the edges, he clutched at his shoulder and wondered how he could have been so damn stupid. He should have called for backup.

***

Tires squealing, Jared raced through the streets of downtown San Antonio. Morgan hadn’t answered his phone and that had Jared’s gut twisted in a knot. Why wouldn’t Morgan answer? His only answer was that Misha had gotten to Morgan before he had a chance to call. He reached down with one hand and searched blindly for the gun he’d carried for the past year. Morgan hadn’t been expecting Misha, but he was, and despite what that bastard believed, Jared knew that tonight was it. He was done with the police, the fear, and he was definitely done running.

Swinging the car into the driveway of the condominium’s main garage, he revved the engine, and slammed through the swing arm. The arm shattered along with the windshield of his car, the screams of Jerry the night guard echoed in his ears, but he kept going. If nothing else his crazed entrance would set off alarms and soon the entire place would be swarming with cops.

“I’m coming.” He hissed through clenched teeth. “You wanted me, Misha—you have me.”


	17. Chapter 17

Arriving on Level 4, Jared hit the brakes, leaving the stench of burnt rubber in the air. He shifted the car into park, grabbed the gun and leapt over the door, leaving the engine running. In one of the parking spots, he spied Morgan’s vehicle and he realized that something was definitely wrong. He loaded a round in the chamber of his gun and headed towards the elevator. The doors were opening and closing in an odd rhythm as he approached them and his pulse began to race.

Gaze scanning the dark garage he stepped further into the shadows and something slick caused him to lose his footing for a moment. Glancing down he swallowed hard—blood. “God, please,” he whispered as he glanced up and realized that a body was what was keeping the elevator door from closing.

Jared nearly tripped running for the elevator, terrified that the body in question was Jensen, and that Misha had killed his lover as some twisted greeting. Kneeling down, he tucked the gun in the back of his jeans focusing on the body. It was Morgan and he tried not to panic as he hauled the other man over on his back. The front of his shirt was soaked with blood, tacky and almost black in the dark. As Morgan’s body hit the pavement he moaned, eyes fluttering open.

“Thank God,” Jared groaned. “Don’t move man you’ve been…”

“Son of a bitch shot me,” Morgan hissed.

Jared chuckled nervously as he pulled out his cell and dialed 911. “No, shit, dude.”

Using his good arm Morgan pushed up into a sitting position against the wall, his body wobbling as he tried to get his bearings. “How in the fuck did he get past the security? Bastards gave me the damn third degree and I’m a cop.”

Lifting a finger, Jared cleared his throat as the call went through.

“911 what’s your emergency?”

“This is Jared Padalecki I’m at the Piazza San Lorenzo Condominiums downtown, the Villa Bernini complex, overlooking the Riverwalk. A police officer’s been shot.”

“Is he breathing, sir?”

“Yeah, he’s conscious, but the shooter is in my boyfriend’s condo.”

Morgan frowned ripping his sleeve off and hissed between his teeth as he applied pressure to his shoulder. “Give me the damn phone, kid, and get your ass up there.” He jerked his head toward the stairs.

With a quick nod, Jared passed him the phone.

“This is Jeffrey Morgan, Sergeant with the VCU of the SAPD. Badge number JD-223-1966 I need SWAT to dispatch a team,” he paused and turned as Jared pushed open the door to the stairwell, a wicked gleam in his eye. “Kill that son-of-bitch, kid. You’ll save me a shitload of paperwork.”

Jared swallowed hard, brow furrowed. “Not a problem, Sergeant.”

***

 

Taking the steps three at a time, gun grasped tight in his hand, Jared reached the emergency exit to Jensen’s floor in no time. He cautiously he pushed open the door and stepped into the carpeted hallway, the silence almost deafening in his ears as he moved along the wall toward Jensen’s door. His heart was thundering against his ribs like a Kentucky Derby thoroughbreds’ hooves and he felt as if he were suffocating, the tension filling his lungs. He suddenly realized he was praying beneath his breath something he hadn’t done since he’d come out to his family.

At the end of the hall, Jensen’s front door waited, mocking him as he moved closer, light from the hallway spreading across the threshold and melting into the darkness that engulfed the rest of the apartment. He reached out and pushed the door open further to step through. Soft, faint strains of music drifted through the darkness as if in greeting and he strained his ears to capture the words that reached out to him.

Walk my way,  
And a thousand violins begin to play  
Or it might be the sound of your hello  
That music I hear,  
I get misty the moment you're near

That fucking song, Jared thought. There was no doubt in his mind that Misha was here. What he feared though was what he’d done to Jensen. Taking a step forward into the darkness, palms slick with perspiration as he tightened his grip on the gun, he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of glass crunching beneath his boots. He glanced down and in the dim light filtering in from the street he saw sparkling shards of glass from numerous broken light bulbs scattered across the carpet.

“Jesus,” he whispered and moved further into the dark apartment. He reached beneath the shade of one of the lamps and tried to turn it on, but there was nothing. What the fuck are you playing at? He wondered as he headed down the dark hall, ears straining to hear anything outside the soft music.

He reached Jensen’s bedroom and turned his head. To his complete horror, he saw Jensen, naked, bound and gagged, eyes closed, and from the door, he couldn’t tell if he was breathing. He moved into the room his heart pounding in terror. Please, he thought don’t let him be dead. His vision began to blur as tears welled in his eyes the closer he came to the bed.

Lowering to the bed, he cupped Jensen’s face in his free hand and thumbed the bruises he found there. Anger welled up from the pit of his stomach when he noticed not only that, but also Jensen’s hair. The normally silken strands cut in places, the ends ragged, and uneven. He sat the gun aside and pressed his palm to Jensen’s chest. Beneath his hand, he could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and a sigh of relief flowed out of him.

“Jen,” he whispered, “open your eyes, babe. Please,” he pleaded softly as his imagination ran wild. Were the bruises just the beginning? He thought. Had Misha raped him, too? “Damn it, Jen, please.” He started to lift Jensen’s head and he moaned softly, his eyes fluttering open.

Eyes going wide, Jensen began to struggle against the ropes.

“Jensen, it’s me. It’s…”

Although muffled by the gag, it was clear what Jensen screamed—his name. Just as it dawned on Jared that it was a warning, an animal scream came from behind, and a flare of pain shot through his shoulder as he ducked and rolled off the mattress and into the floor. The sound of feet filled his ears as he pushed off the floor, clutching his shoulder, warm blood oozing between his fingers. He glanced at Jensen and then back to the door as Jensen tipped his head toward it with a muffled grunt.

Jared ducked through the door, gaze moving up and down the hall as he strained his ears. He wasn’t going to allow Misha to walk away this time with a slap on the wrist and nothing more. God only knew what he’d done to Jensen, but Jared wasn’t taking any chances. The bastard was going to pay.

From the corner of his eye Jared saw Misha rush from the bathroom, face twisted in rage, a banshee howl tearing from his lips, knife raised above his head. Jared grabbed his wrists, slamming him into the wall, and tried to dislodge the blade from his grip. Unfortunately, for Jared, the same madness that gleamed in his eyes fueled his strength. He tore from Jared’s grasp and swung the knife, blade arching out to tear through the front of Jared’s tee shirt and slice through skin. A sudden rush of adrenaline hit Jared and he swung, knuckles grazing Misha’s jaw, but he didn’t seem to even notice. He brought the knife down, the blade penetrating Jared’s thigh, and then yanked it free as Jared threw his head back with a scream.

By the time Jared got a grip on the pain, eyes watering, Misha had vanished again. Limping down the hall, he tried to breathe through the pain even as he tried to focus on his surroundings. There was no way Misha was gone—he knew that—the son of a bitch wouldn’t be happy until he was dead or dying. He made his way slowly back into the living room and his gaze darted from corner to corner, the movement of the shadows making him twitchy.

To his left, the balcony doors stood open, the curtains dancing in the cool breeze. He was damned sure they hadn’t been open before, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk it. Jensen’s apartment was on the tenth floor and there was no way he’d survive if Misha tossed him over the edge. He took a deep breath and stepped towards the door the silence eerie now that the music had—

Jared turned just as Misha brought the knife down again, the blade skimming across his cheekbone, and nicking his ear, “You son of a bitch!” Jared roared, arm shooting up, and his fingers tightening around Misha’s wrist as his free hand came up to connect beneath the other man’s ribcage.

An infuriated scream escaped from between Misha’s clenched teeth as Jared’s fist forced the air from his lungs and he twisted his arm. Jared’s hand moved up and over Misha’s fist as they fought for control of the knife. His hand slid over the blade, slicing his palm open, the warm flow of blood slicking his grip and he yanked back. Grabbing a handful of Misha’s hair, he spun his body around and pushed him backward.

For a moment they stood, bodies hunched, and facing one another. Jared’s eyes narrowed as he finally saw the beast beneath the veneer of those beautiful eyes. There was nothing human left in Misha Collins and that was the scariest thing of all. It was as if somewhere along the road of his life he’d lost his soul. Jared swallowed hard, waiting for some sign, and he didn’t have to wait for long.

The muscle in Misha’s jaw twitched and in that moment Jared knew that it was either kill or be killed--he had no choice.

As Misha launched himself across the space that separated them, Jared drew back his fist and slammed it forward with as much force as possible. When he connected with Misha’s nose, he felt the bone shatter like glass. Misha dropped the knife, the force of Jared’s punch sending him stumbling backwards and through the plate glass window. Arms pin wheeling, he hit the balcony railing and flipped over disappearing from sight with a terrified scream. Jared stepped through the shattered glass and into the cool night, the glass crunching like bone beneath his feet. Peering over the railing, he was surprised to see Misha clinging to the edge. He met Misha’s terrified gaze as he struggled to hold on.

“Jared,” he pleaded, “please…Help me.” His right hand slipped away from the concrete and he gasped. “Please, I love you. You can’t let me die.” Jared stood silently watching as one by one Misha’s fingers slipped away. “Please…” he wailed as he lost his grip.

Misha’s body tumbled down, his scream echoing through the darkness, only to halt when his body hit the top of a car parked far below. The car alarm began shrieking as the metal caved beneath Misha’s body, glass exploding outward in a shower of sparkling shards. In the distance, sirens filled the night as screams echoed up from the street.

“No,” Jared whispered, “I don’t love you.”

Turning away, he limped back into the apartment, his only thought of Jensen.


	18. Chapter 18

Epilogue  
Christmas Eve

 

Every fifteen or twenty years that was what Richard had told him about snow falling in San Francisco. Tonight though—he was praying for a sign.

“Why the long face, sweetheart?”

Jensen turned from the window, one hand moving nervously over his hair. He was still getting used to the shorter hair, but he couldn’t let it grow out again. It reminded him of that night in San Antonio and he swore he would never be a victim again. It could have been worse. He knew that logically. “No reason.” He whispered dropping his hand as Richard caught his worried gaze.

Crossing the room, Richard reached out and smoothed the lapels of his jacket. “Look at you, Jensen, you are gorgeous. You’re just suffering a case of the butterflies.”

He swallowed hard and turned back to the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the bay, the lights of the city twinkling in the crisp winter air, “My parents?”

Richard snorted, “They’ll be here.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Please, as if they would miss their little boy’s big day? Now quit moping and get ready to go downstairs. Jared is waiting for you.” Richard turned and headed to the office door.

“Richard?”

He paused, his hand on the doorknob. “Yes.”

“Am I doing the right thing?”

A faint smile teased the corner of Richard’s mouth. “Do you love him?”

“Yes.” He answered without hesitation.

“Then you already know the answer to that question.”

***

 

Hitting the bottom of the stairs, Jensen was shocked to see his father standing in the doorway waiting for him, “Dad?”

Alan smiled, eyes glittering, “Hey, son.”

He moved across the room, tears welling in his eyes, “I didn’t think you would come.” His voice cracked with emotion.

“I’m so sorry, Jensen.” His father breathed out as he stepped closer and pulled Jensen into a hug. “I’ve been a damn fool.” He pulled back, his hands gripping Jensen’s face. “Your mother wanted me to accept you as you are and I hung on to my stupid ideals. You’re my son, you’ll always be my son, and who you love won’t change that.”

Jensen inhaled sharply and swallowed back the tears that rose in his throat. “So does that mean…?”

“Yes,” Alan sighed, “I’m here to take care of business.”

***

 

The soft chords of a guitar drifted through the gallery, the lights dimmed, and hundreds of candles flickering in a sea of gold that reflected off the towering windows. Steve glanced up as Jensen and his father appeared in the door, shoulder to shoulder, and he smiled, fingers gliding over the strings. His voice lifted, the acoustics of the high ceiling carrying it through the room as the guests turned.

Looking through eyes that wept  
I confessed my love  
and you slept I asked for help from above  
I said the strength of my affection  
has taken all my time  
like an hourglass, my heart fills up  
but I’m losing my mind over you

 

Jensen glanced up the aisle and focused on the wrought iron arch, entwined with black magic roses, his eyes sparkling at the sight of Jared waiting there for him. At Jared’s side stood Chris and Sandy, witnesses to what Jensen couldn’t quite believe was happening. Among the small group of guests, he spotted his mother, his sister, and his brother with his family as well. Jared’s mother and stepfather sat across the aisle with his siblings. He spotted Richard who waved at him then dabbed at his eyes with a silk handkerchief. The sight nearly had him burst into laughter. Instead, his gaze drifted back to Jared, and he smiled as he started up the aisle, his father keeping perfectly instep with him.

I don’t know why  
I’m always tryin’ to get inside of you  
Pinata Novia  
I’m sorry I’m breaking you open…  
but it’s just what you want me to do

 

The music filled him up and made him feel as if nothing could touch him. His eyes never left Jared and his throat tightened. In Jared’s eyes, he could see the love he felt reflected as if it were a flame brighter than any candle’s flame. Everything they’d been through and yet here they were about to take the most important step of their lives. The law might not recognize their love for now, but their families and friends were here to bear witness to a new beginning for both of them.

I’m sure that time’s gonna take its toll  
and I know that my tattooed heart  
may make you lose control,  
but grab a hold of something  
preferably my heart  
oh and promise you won’t let it go  
and swear you’ll never part away from me.

I don’t know why  
I’m always tryin’ to get inside of you  
Pinata Novia  
I’m sorry I’m breaking you open  
but it’s just what you want me to do  
it’s exactly what I’m gonna do…

 

As Steve’s voice faded along with the final notes of music, Jensen stepped into place, and his father took his seat next to his mother. Beneath the arch, Richard’s friend, a justice of the peace, cleared his throat to draw attention to the two men before him.

“Tonight, we have gathered here, friends and family, to witness the creation of a partnership between these two men. Although, the law may not allow them to marry in the traditional sense, their love is undeniable to those who know them. They have both suffered for one another, supported one another through the darkest of days and still they stand before you to declare their love for one another. Love my friends come in many colors and shapes. Love knows no law other than that of the human soul and heart.”

He paused and turned first to Jared and then to Jensen.

“I ask you now to join hands with one another.”

Jared reached out and took Jensen’s hand in his, eyes glittering.

“Do you, Jared Tristan Padalecki, accept this man, Jensen Ross Ackles, into your heart and soul? Do you promise to support and love him through good and bad until the end of your days?”

He swallowed as he looked into Jensen’s eyes and smiled despite the tears that clung to his lashes. “I accept him as he is until the end of my days.” He paused as Chris handed him a silver band and smiled wider if possible. “I offer him this ring as a symbol of my promise.” He slid the ring onto Jensen’s finger and squeezed his hand.

“Do you, Jensen Ross Ackles, accept this man, Jared Tristan Padalecki, into your heart and soul? Do you promise to support and love him through good and bad until the end of your days?”

The tears he’d been fighting finally spilled over to trail down his face. “I accept him as he is until the end of my days.” He paused when Sandy held out the matching silver band and accepted it with trembling fingers. “And I offer him this ring as a symbol of my promise.” Sliding the ring on Jared’s finger, he smiled cheeks flushed pink.

“I now present to you a union of hearts and souls. Let no power tear them asunder.”

Jared pulled Jensen close and their lips met in a passionate kiss as the room went wild with applause. Pulling back, hand cupping Jensen’s jaw, he swept his thumb across his cheek. “I love you, Jensen.” He whispered.

Jensen smiled and leaned in lips ghosting over Jared’s in a whisper of a kiss. “I love you, too.”

Outside it began to snow over the city.

~Finis~


End file.
